In the beginning…there was lunch.

The contributors to this blog spend a great portion of their daily lives talking about lunch, thinking about lunch, and of course eating lunch, and then talking about how that lunch went.

But have we ever thought about the lunch that started it all, that lunch being the very first one that you can remember. Surely there are hundreds, if not thousands, of lunches you had when you were little, but simply can’t recall. Somewhere in that brain of ours is the first lunch. Like all early memories it should appear in soft focus, with the latest Enya album playing softly in the background, and everything moves a bit slower.

For me it was in an elementary school cafeteria. I got served a fish sandwich with some goo on it. I asked the lunch-lady man what it was, and he said it was tartar sauce, and I had better eat it. I took a bite, and that tartar sauce was greeted as an alien invader, I quickly gagged and spit out my bite. I didn’t touch tartar sauce again until my 20’s. I suppose I remember that tartar sauce experience due to the horrible traumatic effect.



Another early lunch I can recall had nothing to do with lunch itself, but I know it was in the cafeteria during lunch-time. A spider was dangling from the ceiling over my friend’s head, and when I told him to “Watch out!!” he looked up and the spider dropped right into his mouth. It seems to good to be true, but that’s what my head remembers having happened.

Those early lunches were a time of wide-eyed wonderment, when every meal involved taking a big risk, so you had better strap in and take the G's.

What is the first lunch that you can remember? What about other exciting “first” lunches? And pretend you have amnesia, what’s your “original” lunch going to be today?

Sorry GG

I am famished. Last night's left over lo mein did nothing to slake my hunger today.
Lunch begins in 17 minutes, what pray tell does this community suggest that we eat for lunch?

You Deserve a Medal.

jo asked, nay, ordered me to keep this up as a common place to collect our post-thanksgiving comments (which, fear not, are just as relevant at this date as on Friday). So once again, tell us what made your thanksgiving different from everyone else’s? If you have already answered that or had a vanilla whitebread holiday, tell us of some of your more imaginative uses of leftovers? and of course WFL? (Bonus points if you have finished all your thanksgiving leftovers by today).


Friday's Post:
I am at my Parent's home.
I'm bored, drunk and awake and there is an ancient springer spanial gently snoring to my left. . .
I warn you this post will be long. Possibly painful. It is likely there will be grammatical errors and allusions to the National Debt and argyle. . . For those who may read no further: Tell me about your odd Thanksgiving day experience, what made your holiday different from every other OWFLer? and of course: WFL?

(and now to the verbose post)



Welcome to the day of sloth.

Congratulations for making it this far.
I know.
It's been a hard week.
I am truly proud of you.


It all started with that damn Monday. A day that specializes in grabbing you by the gonads and dragging you back from your weekend bliss and into the perpetual drudgery that seems the definition of selling your soul (I won't argue with those of you that think you love your job—argument just doesn't look good on me (I'm a spring)).


Then came that Tuesday, another blindingly painful series of hours echoing with the phrase “It's my Thursday, ha-yuck” and the inner-child-kicking reminder you haven't even made it half way through your abbreviated week.


Ahh, then that Wednesday: the day taunting you with it's proximity to that luscious sweet spot of the eleventh month.
Ahh, then that Wednesday: “The Biggest Drinking Day of the Year” (or so I've heard, I've been Googling up and down trying to find out if there is any truth in this (as counter-intuitive as it may be) but other than a few statements from those unworthy of my bibliography, I haven't found any verification).

Then, with no time or dignity to spare: Thanksgiving.
Yes, you've proved you are ready for the Gastrointestinal Games: having spent between five and twelve hours eating on this most holy of holidays. You drank whatever was placed in front of you, regardless of your proximity to the hot stove and boiling potatoes. You smiled politely, even when a well meaning relative implied that you have yet to do anything productive with your life.
Hell, you had seconds.


Well, congratulations OWFLers. Take this day and raise a proud middle finger to those who will spend their waking hours fighting barbarous crowds in Bed, Bath and Beyond for that deeply-discounted-turbo-limited-edition-cheese-grater. Raise your other to those cleaning out gutters, mopping floors and generally being productive. Then, with all the self-righteous authority you can muster, sit the f*ck down. This is your day to enjoy that extra ass-padding you've somehow acquired in the last twenty-four—don't do anything productive, enjoy that organic cushion and enjoy it with pride.

Now that you've been given a day without responsibility, tell me what made your Thanksgiving your own. Anything shocking occur when your girlfriend came home to your parents for the first time? (Really, you should have known they would call her a whore). Did anyone have their first significant other Thanksgiving (away from parents or in-laws)? (HA! You didn't know it was the neck at first either!) What surprised you culinarily on this traditional meal?
More succinctly, what made your yesterday different than every other OWFLer's?

i'd like to get some socks with silly interlocking diamonds

and of course:
WFL?
(Bonus points if you do not eat leftovers. . .)

HAPPY THANKSGIVING OWFL!

Homecoming

There will be no pictures on this post. I have only 128k over transatlantic satellite so I apologize. I was going to load some pictures of Ro and I kissing during our early time in Boston. However, let me relay a story that illustrates today's topic.

Typically, the day before Thanksgiving many people are finishing up the trip back home. Alot of people got in last night .. some are still arriving today. If you are traveling back to the place you grew up ... you sit down and take it all in. Landmarks may have changed, people that you saw regularly may have moved, etc etc... But, it is always the same feeling, that weird feeling of not quite fitting back into the space that you once occupied, either the vaccum has closed up or maybe even widened .. almost as if you were on a soul diet (changing may even mean the loss of being "bigger" and "gregarious" or the transverse ... that you are bigger or grand).

It is sometimes are weird feeling.

Well, that brings me to a certain "Homecoming", the fall of 1997. I was packing up a Pontiac LeSabre (my dad took my huge but reliable .. newly rebuilt Buick). I was leaving home (Texas at the time)... hopefully in time to make it up to Boston (in two days) to make Thanksgiving Dinner for Rochelle. I took off in the evening and drove straight through till morning to Oakridge, TN (just about half-way). I sacked out at my Grandparents house for about 6 hours .. hugged my cousins and my grandparents and took off all the way through to Boston. You see I was going home. I pulled up to Ro's brownstone .. parked the car illegally (is there a legal free parking spot in Brighton, MA?). And rung the doorbell. The next thing I know I'm being tackeled and smothered in kisses and hugs. That was a great homecoming.

I'm looking forward to that time here soon. When I get back. I hope the vaccum didn't change much.

Most people are spending today waiting for our feast and enjoying our warm homecomings. Do you sit down and have that sandwich and a glass of milk with friends or family? How do you feel today and What's for Lunch?

The Morning After

So last night I broke in the new fryer that HT and LaChoi got me for my birthday. And I think we broke it in damn well if I do say so myself. One could say we spanked that fry daddy's ass! We started off with tostones (fried plantaines), then went to tater tots, followed up by popcorn chicken, then it was time for onion rings, of course it would not be a fry party without crab rangoon and for dessert coconut fried shrimp. Ahhh, just a Monday night at the CHUD house!

It seemed like such a good idea at the time, but now I feel like I am weighed down by a gallon of canola oil and my apartment smells like fried. We've all shared plenty of discussions about fried food. What we enjoy the most, what is the weirdest thing we've had fried, what we really should try and fry. It is not a foreign topic to the OWFL, and in fact I believe it is most often held in the highest regards after a particularly rough night of drinking. Fountain sodas and fried food....ahhhh...a cure for the common hangover.

But now it is the morning after a night of excess fried food consumption and I feel dull, sluggish and a bit queasy....FF hangover. Ok, so if you eat fried food to help with an alcohol hangover, do you drink alcohol to cure a fried food hangover? Will a salad do the trick, or do I need something carby to soak up all the excess grease floating in my belly? How do you get rid of the fried food blues?

And of course, WFL???

Eat it like the movies!

There's been a lot of eating in movies over the years. From last meals to pure decadence. Sometimes they play a minor part and sometime they are the objective of the entire flick. One of my favorite eating scenes comes from a movie (introduced to me by Mamon) from the film Fatso with Dom DeLuise. It's a beautiful film about a man that can't do it. If you love to eat, which I’m sure you do, please spend a Sunday morning eating your eggs with this masterpiece of proper eating.


Dominick DiNapoli: Maybe I AM crazy. Is it crazy to hate yourself?
Dominick DiNapoli: Get the honey, junior.
Dominick DiNapoli: [to a picture of his mother] How you loved to feed me! Look at your chubby baby now, ma, I'm a fat, fat man, a damn fatso. I can't stop the fat!
Sonny: Did you ever suck the jelly out of a jelly doughnut and then fill it with chocolate swirl ice cream?
Antoinette: You ate the "ony"!
Frankie: You love bread, I don't love bread, I only LIKE bread!
Dominick DiNapoli: Mrs. Goodman, would you be my chubby checker?
Dominick DiNapoli: Lasagna for you, broiled chicken and kale for me, no bread.
Sonny: How'd you like to stuff one of them in a doughnut!
Dominick DiNapoli: Give me those keys or I'll cut you down to your balls!
Frankie: Dom, what's happening to you? Don't you remember? "Da, da, da, da"?
Dominick DiNapoli: "Da, da, da, da" your ass! Give me those keys!
Dominick DiNapoli: [to Frankie] You know what your problem is, Junior? You don't know how to run your plate. See? You gotta make the bread come out even with the eggs.

So, let's dig deep. Let us know what your favorite eating scenes are. I've got a busy day so sorry for the brevity.

Oh and WFL??

My Scarlet Letter is L

A friend of mine from high school (whom I shall call D) came in to town for the weekend. She has a conference to attend here in DC, and she's staying at my place because her employers saw fit to fund her flight here but not her lodging.

In the course of catching up last night, I asked about D's college roommate (whom I will call C). C recently left her husband for a student, with whom C was having an affair, in the graduate department where C teaches. After an intricate exchange of facts and realizations, D and I discovered that the student with whom C was having an affair and for whom C recently left her husband is my good friend from college (whom I will call H).

Talk about a small world.

Over coffee this morning (I'm working from home today.), D and I spent some time talking about that moment in a relationship when the excitement of flirtation becomes the treachery of cheating. D and I have a tendency to run off at the mouth when discussing such topics. We're both a little wordy and (if I'm to be generous) a little literary in our debates, particularly about topics that are more conceptual and less concrete. Consequently, I will spare you the more arduous details of our discussion.

Still, it got me to thinking. In most cases of "the other man" or "the other woman" that you see in stories, be they on the page or the big or small screen (or, yes, mikeysunshine, in your latest contribution to the realm of Star Trek: The Next Generation fan fiction erotica), such relationship indiscretions often happen over lunch: a long lunch break from the office at a place that isn't too close to the "regular" place but IS close enough to a motel where you can retire for a little Afternoon Delight.

So, my questions to you today, OWFL, is this: what do you order when you are lunching with the Forbidden Fruit? Or, coming at it from the other side, where do you take someone else's wife to lunch?

And, of course, WFL?

Stand By Me: Directors cut - Sunshine edition

Narrator: We talked into the night. The kind of talk that seemed important until you discover girls.

Gordie: Alright, alright. Mickey's a mouse. Donald's a duck. Pluto's a dog. What's Goofy?

Vern: If I can only have one food (for lunch) for the rest of my life? That's easy. Pez. Cherryflavoured Pez. No question about it.

Teddy: Goofy's a dog, he's definitely a dog.

Gordie: I knew the sixty-four thousand dollars question was fixed. There's no way anybody can know that much about opera.

Chris: He can't be a dog. Wears a hat and drives a car.

Gordie: Wagon Train's a really cool show. But did you ever notice that they never get anywhere? They just keep wagon training.

Vern: God, that's weird. What the hell is Goofy?

MikeySunshine: Wait a GD Second here. Vern asked a damn good question. What would you eat if you could only have one kind of food for the rest of your life? I mean, you got to think about a lot of things before comitting to something monumental like that.

Teddy: Like what Sunny?

MikeySunshine: I told you. Don't call me Sunny, that ain't my name.

Teddy: Whatever.

Vern: Yeah, Sunshine, what do you have to think about?

MikeySunshine: Well Vern, this is the food you have to live on for the rest of your life. Think about your answer for a minute lardass. Seriously, your teeth would rot out and I don't even want to think about what would be falling out of your ass if all you eat is Cherry Pez.

Gordie: Yeah, you'd have pink hershey squirts Vern-o .

Vern: Shut up man.

MikeySunshine: Like I was trying to say, you gotta think about the repeatability, and the nutrition of the food. I mean Hot dogs are great, but you don't get nothing green, unless you eat them with relish, but that shit tastes like barf.

Chris: Hey, I like Relish.

Teddy: You would.

Chris: What's that supposed to mean?

Teddy: Nothing man, just forget it.

Gordie: Sunshine, you've obviously thought about this, what would you eat?

MikeySunshine: Pizza. No doubt. It's got all the food groups, and I already eat it like 4 times a week... and Goofy is a retarded donkey.

Narrator: None of us mentioned Ray Brower but we were all thinking about him.



The question for today should be clear: If you could only have one type of food for the rest of your life, what would it be? If you can only have one lunch today, what will it be?

Where's the Beef?

On this date in 1969, in GimletGirl's hometown of Dublin, Ohio, Dave Thomas opened the very first Wendy's Restaurant.

I feel like Wendy's is always running in third, behind McDonald's and Burger King, which never made sense to me, because of the three, if I had to choose, I'd pick Wendy's every time. I've always been a big fan of Wendy's chili and thus, their taco salads, and I like their fries better than those at either McDonald's or Burger King. I do think it's absolutely stupid that Frosties are only chocolate, but I've been known to break down and eat one from time to time, particularly as a "dipping sauce" for my fries.

Wendy's also used to have pretty good fried chicken, though I think they've stopped selling it. In reading about Dave Thomas' life for this post, I learned that that's probably because upon Dave 's return from duty in Germany during the Korean War, he worked with Colonel Harlan Sanders to turn around 4 failing Kentucky Fried Chicken franchises.

So, Happy Birthday Wendy's! Go get yourself some chili and a baked potato, or a square burger to celebrate! So, let's talk about Wendy's, or if you must, fast food in general. Also, feel free to share your experiences at any of the Wendy's International owned chains, which in addition to Wendy's include Cafe Express and Pasta Pomodoro, and up until very recently Baja Fresh, and up there in Canuckistan, Tim Hortons.

And, of course, WFL?

Who delivers

Sorry to the poster for today, but I got impatient. I'll take this down if necessary

SO I am liad up with terrible back pain again today and lunch ain't making itself. So My question for the community is this:

When you don't want to make food, who do you call, and what do they bring?

Lunchwear

As I was walking from the metro to work this morning, I passed a guy with a shirt that said 'English Muffin' & it had a little union jack on it. It made me laugh. Thinking about it, that shirt would be more descriptive on a girl, but whatever. He was hott. Also, it made me happy b/c I didn't have a good idea of what to write about today - and does it matter much anyways? Is anyone even at work? Am I the only one? So if you could make a custom food shirt what would yours be labeled? During my mold problems in my condo I almost had a shirt made that said "Got Mold?" (like the milk ads! geddit? geddit??) and had a little mushroom on it (yeah, yeah, I know, mushrooms are fungi, not mold, blah blah blah), so I guess I'd go with that. Or, if I were back in college, when I was known for making the most ridiculous pool shots (not from skill, mind you, just from hitting as many balls as hard as possible-ah, good times. when cheese counted) & I was known as the Velveeta Queen, so I guess I'd get a shirt with that on it.

Happy Veterans Day to all the vets on our little blog. Which I guess means Shorty. ;-p
WFL, y'all?!

The dream is over...

With the Democrats taking over the House and Senate, it looks like there's a new sheriff in town. Some you may recall a littls scandal around Jack Abramoff (AKA the Hamburglar) which brought to light for about 3 seconds the largesse afforded to our elected representatives in Washington, D.C. The CYA backlash in DC included ethics proposals limiting the amount that could be spent on free lunches for politicians and their staff. The legal limit had been $50 for a lunch. The proposed changes would have brought the limit down considerably...

Trent Lott's (R- MS) response to some of the proposed ethics changes:
"...it is outrageous," Lott said. "I mean, now we're going to say you can't have a meal for more than 20 bucks. Where you going to -- to McDonalds?"

Of course Trent could choose to eat wherever he pleases, but then he'd have to pay for it on his meager Senate salary of $183,500 a year. So on the crazy chance that the Dems will opt to limit themselves to an "outrageous" $20 free lunch per day, where are they going to eat?

As Trent so helpfully pointed out, McDonalds is indeed one option, in fact you could get a veritable feast there for $20. But is there any where else in this town where you could get a decent lunch for under $20? Is this the fate of our humble leaders?

Has the hamburglar ruined lunches for Congress?

I personnally think that the free lunch in Washington is here to stay, the enjoyment of kickbacks is one thing that both parties could agree on. So if you had a queue of lobbyists lining up to spend $50 on you for lunch every day, where would you go? What would you eat when they sky was the limit? Is there such a thing as a "free $50 lunch from a lobbyist"?

And what's for lunch today, oh sorry electorate?

Election Hangover

It's 12:47 AM and I am still not sure how happy I am.

The TN Senate seat was just called for the Republican.

MO and MT are still far away from being called.

VA looks like it is headed for a recount as the guy I want to win is only up by about 3,000 votes.

Your Czar is very happy to report that the House of Representatives has been very politely returned to his beloved party after a 12 yr loan to Hatertot's folks.

This is good.

On the other hand everyone here at OWFL is very upset for a good friend of the blog and her betrothed for having lost an extremely hard fought campaign in Western New York.
We hope he will be back and we promise to work harder for him next time.

So what now?

What do you dine on when you don't know how you feel?

What food can fill the empty pit in your belly that will soon be filled by extreme joy or disappointment?

Help me and others who are feeling like me answer this question on what is turning out to be a gorgeous, beautiful Wednesday.

And also tell us, of course...

WFL?

Forgot my lunch.

DAMNIT ALL!!!! stupid cold medicine has left me retarded. what do you do when you forget your lunch and have no reserves at work?? AND are insanely broke because you spent all of your money on pretty clothes that wont fit you by the end of the week because you have no lunch?? im sure we have already coered this topic, and what to eat when you are sick, and what to keep in your desk for when you have forgoten your lunch, but the alieve cold and sinus has left me stupid and sleepy. i just wanna go to bed with some lipton cup o noodles.

p.s. i miss you guys!!

Lunch-ku: Part Deux

Seventeen tiny
syllables to describe your
lunchtime joy today.

That's it. That's everyone's assignment. Due to some demand last week, and the fact that I have no good ideas for my post, please describe todays lunch (or other random musings) in haiku form.

So? WFL?

What's for lunch today?

What do you plan to have for lunch today? Any suggestions for those of us who haven't thought about it yet?

What are your plans for the weekend? You going to Lady A's cake party on Saturday?

Do these pants make me look fat?

The Incredible Edible Bread

Ahhhh...bread...soft, chewy, crusty bread. The essential ingredient to making the ever important sandwich, a staple amongst most lunchers on a daily basis. Without bread, would our lunching be the same? Would our favorite sandwich be our favorite sandwich without it?

And the variety!! The variety of bread out there is just amazing nowadays (loafs, rounds, pitas, bagels, wheats, whites, whole grain, beer etc.) and so many specialty sandwiches depend on using a specific type of bread. Would a reuben be a reuben without two slices of rye? Would a cheesesteak be the same if it were between two slices of wheat instead of a sub roll? What would a gyro taste like on white bread instead of pita? What kind of bread makes it or breaks it for you? Have you ever had a disappointing lunch because it was made with the wrong type of bread?

So let's talk about bread today my friends and of course WFL?

Lonely Kid Lunch

So you're the new kid. The other kids at the other tables whisper. Some may outright laugh. Some throw food (I wish more people had thrown food because its HellaFun(tm) to start a food fight or simply that my mom's packed lunch sucked so I'd have rather thrown it).

I remember moving from Chattanooga, TN to Houston, TX when I was six years old. We moved in August so I wasn't able to make many friends on my street when school started (I'd only met a few kids and they had taken to calling me "Hayseed" ... anyone see the irony here?... I'd busted at least one of their lips .. note to self: not the way to develop friendships).

I vividly remember having to sit at a table by myself the first day of school. Not being a natural joiner (and possessing no grammar skills) I didn't start looking for friends nor was I naturally receptive to people wanting to talk to me. I wouldn't describe myself as the old school version of the trench coat mafia because a) I think highly of myself .. really highly b) I like women and "emo boys" like trench coats are total wussies.

I ended up making friends with Max Cortez, Choo Choo Lawson, Terrance Washington and a few other people that I found out later were considered "unruly". Likely due to the fact that they were from the "Quarters" which was government tract housing put up close to the elementary school where we lived in Sugarland, TX. These people were good as friends and better about having fun, getting into fights, making trouble, and having alot of the same sort of "pig's ass in between two pieces of bread" kinda lunch that I was used to. This set a precedent for me. The people that are the most cast out by their peers tend to stick together themselves. Kind of a band of bad brothers.

Later, after many years, I quit the highschool band my Jr. year of Highschool, I didn't play football, so the only affiliation I kept was Academic Decathlon. So, I was somewhat "unaffiliated" around my Jr and Sr year of highschool. I went to rockstar-like parties at other highschools (Sugar Land is filled with priviledged-bored-rich-kids), dated the Cpt. of the Drill team at another close high school, and went to more Proms than I care to remember (I think the total was 9 after all said and done). However, unaffiliated at my school, I would sit in the lunch room reading the whole time (Stranger in a Stange Land, Xanth Series, Bio of a Space Tyrant, etc). It was only at this point that I made friends with more criminals that my brother was affiliated with (and a few of them were my friends). I believe one of the guys is now a porn star in Austin and a few others I lost track of after they lived in people's attics smoking pot for summers on end.

Uuuuhh was there a point to this?

Well, yeah. I've never been really all that hip on groups. Alot of them are filled with people who like to be nice all the time. I can't hack it. Matter o' fact I find it insipid sometimes (only when I have my man-period or if you prefer "Manly Time of the Month" ... note to self: does anyone make "Man-pons"?). Everyone on the this blog is cool ... some of you are haters very like me.

So imagine my suprise when I feel like the lonely kid at lunch when I didn't get a posting spot in the new rotation! It was clearly horked (my word) by THA MAN(tm)(f the man!!!).

So someone stole my lunch posting spot (very like stealing my lunch ... its pig's ass ... but its mine damnit).

What would you do in my circumstance? What have you done in the past? Is anyone else out there a self-described sociopath like me? Who are you having lunch with? How was Halloween? Were you ever a lonely kid? Most important, What are you stealing for lunch?

Spookylicious

Happy Halloween Lunchers!!

Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet!!

So growing up, I never got to dress up in costumes, go trick or treating or decorate our house with spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns...usually it was a night at Chi-Chi's with bad tex-mex food ending with a sombrero on my head and a bunch of servers singing a god awful "mexican" version of happy birthday to me. Anyways, so I missed out on the bags and buckets of candy, sweets, treats and more candy. My mom was good at making sure we had a stash of candy around on a regular basis anyways, but she'd always keep out an extra big bowlful during halloween. So I was always able to pack a few treats in my lunchbag so I could participate in the standard "swap candy with your friends ritual" after the big night...but in some ways it just wasn't the same *sigh*.

I want to hear what halloween was like for you guys! What was your favorite costume? Did you buy them or did you make them? Favorite candy? Favorite tricks? Did you trade your Baby Ruths for 100 Grands during lunch? Let me live vicariously through your halloween experiences!

And of course, what kind of devilishly delicious lunch will you be having today????

Not So Fast, Make It Last

I would like to start this week off with a little story.

So, yesterday I had plans to meet up with some friends for a little Sunday lunch. (Well, I also had plans to go downtown to cheer on some other friends as they ran the Marine Corps Marathon, but the cheering plans were derailed a bit by the "Is it four AM already? Again?" night the night before. I hold Josephus responsible.) We decide to go to the falafel joint that I (wisely) decided not to visit eight hours earlier.

I walk over and stick my head inside to make sure they aren't there already. Since I have just enough coffee in my system to hold my hangover stomach's hand over the bridge from nausea to hunger, I briefly consider knocking down a falafel while I'm waiting for them to show and then doubling up once they arrive. I decide against it because, hey, we all have an upbringing to live with.

Just as I'm beginning to reconsider my lunching chivalry, the first of my three lunching companions arrive. We stick our heads back in to make sure the other half of our party didn't sneak by while I was down the block getting coffee. For the second time, I stand in line for a minute before going back outside.

After another ten minutes, the other two finally show up. We go in to stand in line in earnest at last. Lunching Companion #1's cell phone rings. She looks at it to realize that Lunching Companion #3 is calling her, only LC3 is standing next to her and is not on the phone. Upon answering, LC1 discovers that LC3 dropped her phone on the street on the way to lunch, where it was recovered by a well-meaning passerby who was taking pains to return it to its rightful owner.

"OH, GOD DAMN IT!" says I, as I yet again turn away from the line to go on a thirty-minute hike back to the car to meet the Giantess Samaratin. (Did we all need to go? No, but I don't get to see these people all that often.)

But, the difficulties and delays in acquiring a much-needed lunch got me to thinking in the course of that walk: is all of this nonsense going to make this lunch even better? I eventually got my falafel, and it was remarkably tasty. (That may, of course, be due to the fact that it was the first time I had ever gone there in daylight and sober.) I concluded for that particular experience that my lunch was heightened by the slow, at times maddening, ascent to the table, as it were.

So, my question to you, fellow OWFLers, is this: do you engage in any lunch foreplay? Do you ever stretch out your approach to lunch so you can savor the anticipation? Are there any times when you think you should? What's the best way to intensify your lunch experience by what you do (or don't do) beforehand?

And, of course, WFL?

PS - I had a couple of other gem illustrations, but Blogger is being a little bitch this morning. Or, I'm dumb. One or the other. Damn it.

What do they do?

Hey y'all,

Headin' off to Rochester today to see ol' Miso (I'm sure her busy ass sends her love) so I'm doing this the day before.

Today is a research day. It's Friday, you certainly don't feel like working so why not educate your lunching brothers and sisters with a bit of worldly lunching knowledge. Maybe this will inspire OWFL to reach other lands (beyond Russia and Mexico) or move an existing OWFLer to travel to Tuva for some fermented ox milk to wash down his bologna sammy.

For example, this is what i found out about a typical Polish Lunch:

A typical lunch is usually composed of at least three courses, starting with a soup, such as barszcz (beet) or żurek (sour rye meal mash), followed perhaps in a restaurant by an appetizer of salmon or herring (prepared in either cream, oil or vinegar). Other popular appetizers are various meats, vegetables or fish in aspic. The main course may be the national dish, bigos (sauerkraut with pieces of meat and sausage) or kotlet schabowy (breaded pork cutlet). Meals often finish with a dessert such as ice cream, makowiec (home-made poppy seed cake), or drożdżówka, a type of yeast cake. Other Polish specialities include chłodnik (a chilled beet or fruit soup for hot days), golonka (pork knuckles cooked with vegetables), kołduny (meat dumplings), zrazy (slices of beef), salceson and flaczki (tripe). Many dishes contain quark.

So take some time, do a little research, pull from your ethnic brains, make something up...just make our lunch knowledge the best in the world. OWFL should our prowess as lunch aficionados. If it's a regional American tradition, throw that in there too.

I hope you all have a wonderful lunch and PeeP will see you on Tuesday.

Much love.

Oh, and WFL????

Suck it, Trebek

“Lisa Stewart, says here you’re a soup fanatic. Tell us about that.”

“That’s right, Alex. I love soup. My friends always laugh about how much soup I eat.”

Idiot.

I heard this exchange on Jeopardy the other day during that very special portion of the show where Alex gets to know the contestants better, based on some fact they share with the producers about themselves. Most of the time, it makes me want to stab the contestants, and I imagine the bloodbath after I’ve slaughtered Trebeck and then wait to hear about how Earl has a garden and he grows TOMATOES, and Susan went to a mall once, and Steve – wild and crazy Steve – he’s the Jenga champion among his friends and family.

So, let’s pretend we’re on Lunch Jeopardy. That time when you have to share a little something about yourself with the Alex and the viewing audience. What’s your lunch factoid? Tell us something we may not know about you and lunching (or, you in general).

“So, OWFL, it says here that you really like lunch.” “Yes, Alex, that is correct.” “Tell me more about this ‘lunch’ of which you speak.” “Shut the fuck up you bitch ass, and tell me WHAT’S FOR LUNCH MOTHERFUCKER???!!!”

futuristic foods

hi,

our office just had a fire drill, my apologies for posting a tad late. i hate it when they do it so early in the AM b/c i'm hardly awake and the blaring bells just really piss me off.

but it got me thinking about what to post today. and i thought, what would be a good topic? and i thought, hmm...let's do futuristic foods.

so, in the year 3020, what kinds of forms do you think foods will come in? in pill form just like on the jetson's? or maybe like those dippin dots? (meh, they freak me out, man) also what do you believe would be your favorite futuristic lunch? make it up and be creative.

and don't forget to tell us WFL this fine balmy wednesday.

PS - GOOD LUCK HT ON YOUR SECOND INTERVIEW TODAY!

Guerilla Bologna

Happy Balogna Day! Based on some of the things he has said lately, I know ILL Mitch will enjoy today's celebration.

I wanted to put up a list of the ingrediants that are in the standard issue Oscar Mayer balogna, but that has proven hard to come by on the internet befroe catching my bus to work. Heaps of lists of what is in fresh, or the make it at home version of this food product, but nothing that explains how that pinkish substance gets its Zing.

WIth the failure to acquire the information I needed for today's post, I am going to turn you loose in a project lunch meyhem assignment.

For your lunch break today, I want you to pay attention to what is going on around you and report it back to the OWFL. This assignment will ahve you eavesdropping on those enjoying lunch around you.

Listen in on a conversation and report back to us:
1) the main topic of discussion
2) the viewpoints of the people involved
3) what they were eating
4) any good quotes
5) your thoughts about the people and conversation.

Hopefully with so many OWFL agents out there monitoring lunch conversations, we'll run in to a group of people talking about what goes in to a good bologna.

After letting us know what's going on with other folk, tell us what you're having for lunch.

Lunch with our Guests

From time to time we have guests here at the Original What's For Lunch. Sometimes they are friends or family of one of us (Miss Chibi, Brian, Kiki). Sometimes they apparently find us randomly (perhaps from a Google search for QUIZNO'S SALADS). Sometimes they come in, post once, and disappear, a sort of hit-and-run post (naturally, I can't remember any of these). Sometimes they show up sporadically once in a blue moon(Mr. Dirty Mitts, NoTwitty). Sometimes they post intensely for days or weeks, only to disappear into the ether, never to be heard from again (Massive Delts, Ultimo Dragon). So if you could take any of these people (or animals) out for lunch, where would you take them? What would you buy them? Where would they take you? Do you think the old saying is true that guests & fish start to smell after 3 days (not on this blog . . .)? Personally, I would look forward to a good Meximelt with Ultimo Dragon, a wheat grass protein shake with Massive Delts, and maybe some blintzes and a 40 with ILL Mitch. Mr. Dirty Mitts, sorry, but I don't know any restaurants that serve stinky cat mush (I'm not sure, but I get the feeling you're not a good mouser - er, not that I know any restaurants that serve mouse . . . intentionally). So how about it OWFLer's? Pick your favorite OWFL guest & tell us WFL with them. And, as always, WFL today?

And, we wouldn't be having any kind of meals, if it weren't for the fact that God, our Lord, Benevelent Jehovah, created the world on this day, six thousand, ten years ago today. Happy Birthday, Earth!

How would you like your swine?

Let me begin by saying, I love you.
Yes you.
I don't care what you look like, who you screw, what idiot you vote for, how you decide to worship, or even if you choose not to worship anything at all.

THE CZAR LOVES YOU.

Ok, maybe love is a strong term, let's just say I'm with ya. I get it. It's cool. Free to be you and me and all that. You and me are copacetic.

So forgive me if today's topic offends you.

Pork.

I love the stuff.

You can try and tell me that it "roots in and eats it's own shit" I promise you it won't sway me.

Share some some old rules that mattered back before refrigeration and I still won't be convinced.

Trichinosis?

Bah humbug.

Pork is great.

Wonderful.

Amazing.

Delicious.

Man's best friend even.

Just take a gander at a few of the magical things you can do with it...


Ribs...


Sausages...


Pulled...



Center cut chop...



Scrapple...


Roast on a spit...


Ham & Cheese...



Double Cooked...


And His majesty Bacon...


And yes I know it starts out looking like this:



But it is even cuter in our bellies.

So today we reflect on the noble Pig.

If you don't eat it, as I said before, I respect you, love you even, and invite you to share with us your reason for depriving yourself of it's deliciousness.
Do you ever cheat?
If so, when?
And how would you eat it if you could?

As for the rest you happy pig eating fools, How do you like your swine?

While you're at it maybe share some of the more novel ways you have eaten "the other white meat" in the past.

And, of course, all of you better tell us, WFL?

Dining Like a Native

Hello OWFLers! Just a quick post before I head out to the airport on my way to rural Ohio for work. Normally I'm a bit bummed about the oh-so-glamorous places I visit in connection with my job, but in this case I'm psyched because I'm returning to my native land. And a visit to Ohio means three little words: Bob Evans Breakfast. Yes, I know it's a chain and a little cheesy, but we don't have them in the DC area, and I'm just a suburban girl at heart who grew up on those fabulous breakfasts--they're far superior to anything you'll find at IHOP. In high school we'd go there before and after finals and football games and for breaks when rehearsing for plays or building sets. Good times. So for old times' sake I see some pancakes and sausage links in my near future, perhaps even for lunch today!
I know what I'm having, but for the rest of you: WFL?

Daredevil Olympic Lunch

Happy Birthday to:
Robert Craig Knievel



AKA Evel Knievel, Daredevil and one-time action figure
Born: October 17th, 1938. Robert Craig Knievel turns a very young 68 today. And under President Decider’s new plan, is now able to start collecting social security. So unless ol’ Evel invested well, looks like its Alpo, figs, and rock candy from here on out.
But back in the day the professional stuntman ate meals filled with risk and danger.

Breakfast at Evel’s was a thick-cut bacon steak with deep-fried eggs and scrapple on a hot-buttered croissant. The danger!! The excitement!!

An afternoon snack at the Knievel residence was known to be pop rocks and coke. Shit dawg, your head a-splode!!

For dinner, puffer-fish and taco bell. No Evel!!! Don’t do it!!!

But for lunch, no one knows what Evel ate that surely made his friends and family exclaim, “Oh I can’t watch!!”
Share with us what you think an appropriate lunch would be for a professional daredevil. What would you eat if you’re feeling dangerous and want to shock and awe your fans?

If OWFL ever had an Olympics, or some sort of food eating competition, what kind of feats of daring should we include? And I’m not talking about Fear Factor bullshit eating of pigs’ uteruseses. I mean real food, but nonetheless daring in some way or another.

(For example, I’m thinking Lady A could concoct some sort of cake that could deliver 5000 calories per slice. )

And of course, what’s for lunch for the little dare devils of the world? Oh, and I better not here anything about Ben Affleck’s “Daredevil”, i'm blogging in your direction Jo!

(And posting early cuz i've got a morning meeting)

Fish Tank, Drunk Tank, Think Tank

When I was a little kid, I used to dream of diving into my fishtank and living out my days swimming around, happily diving and playing in the water. Even now, when I’m at an aquarium or zoo, I have an almost uncontrollable desire to dive into the artificial aqueous environments and swim around with whatever makes its home there. I even think it would be fun to make my diet off of the raw fish that would be flung at me by my keepers. (Kept woman fantasy and all) I’d also like to learn to break oysters and clams over a rock I held on my belly a la the sea otter, but that seems like some pretty advanced sea livin’ skills.

It was christmas eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, wont see another one
And then he sang a song
The rare old mountain dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

(Sorry, Jo)

I’ve never spent Christmas eve in the drunk tank, but not so for Christmas day. You’ve all heard the story by now. But you mightn’t have heard about the Christmas spent in Budapest, all day in a good friend’s bar, “Fairytale Of New York” on heavy, heavy, heavy rotation, eating tandoori chicken, potato cake, loaves of fresh bread smeared with goose fat, hash brownies, eggplant, langos and other bizarre but delicious non-Christmas-y food. The only thing traditional was the whiskey someone’s brother’s friend’s flatmate’s cousin dropped off when they were passing through town from home, where in this case, home = Ireland.

When you leave the greater DC area and tell people you work at a think tank, it’s fun to watch the expressions on their faces as they try to form a mental picture of what that is. Occasionally someone will make a joke indicating that they understand, sort of, conceptually, kind of, but usually people stare blankly and/or ask what it is that people do there and why. Over the last several years, I’ve spent a lot of time in and around think tanks. When I think of think tanks, I think of eccentric, gruff, middle-aged men dozing off in their office “Dogs Playing Poker” Laz-y Boys, listening to the Blind Boys of Alabama on their Bose Waves. I also think of the east end of Dupont Circle, specifically Massachusetts Ave. where Brookings and the Carnegie Endowment make their homes. Over the years I’ve eaten more free lunches, sandwiches at my desk, and sometimes even dinners at think tanks than I care to remember. Nothing special, and I’ve never had any preconceived notions as to what sort of food one eats while thinking – maybe salmon (yay Omega-3!) or some other brain stimulating sort of thing. The reality is more sandwiches brought in from the Corner Bakery, or at one place in particular, weekly Chipotle, picked up and delivered to us by young research associates and/or interns, depending on the time of year.

So, what’s the point? I’m not sure. I have an interview today at yet another think tank, but didn’t want to do “interview food” as it’s been done, and I won’t be having any. (though, word on the street is this joint has a great dining room and free muffins and cookies) I think that “lunches one might consume in various tanks” is a little limiting, but if you can work with that, go for it. I was hoping that in typing this, I’d get to a point, and, I think maybe I’ve arrived at one. Brain food. What do you eat when you’re hard at work on a challenging, thought-intensive project? What do you eat when you need to appear smart to the folks your dining with? (I stay away from things that I’m not 100% sure of how to pronounce) What foods help get your creativity and intellect churning?

And, of course, what are you eating today? (smart or dumb) WFL?

happy world egg day!!!!!!!

aptly titled: last of the moh-egg-cans (this guy is such a rock star)

the incredible, edible egg. is there not a more perfect food than this tasty white orb with a yellow yolky center of yum? i think not! as i sit here consuming 2 hard boileds, i am wondering how many of our dear owfl-ers are egg lovers?*

let's all take a nice little survey (oh boy!) that is be dedicated to the wonderous egg:

1) how do you like them prepared? (scrabbled, sunny-side, over-sleazy)
2) what's your favorite place to get your eggs? (your hometown diner, ihop, your mom's house, etc.)
3) what is your fondest egg-related memory?
4) impress us with your own cooking talents. tell us how you use eggs in the kitchen and the best dish that you feel features them prominently.
5) finish this phrase: eggs are to chickens as...
6) how many eggs does it take to fit into the trunk of a car? think about it.
7) egg-splain me this: why does the U.S. bleach their eggs white and not leave them their natural brown?
8) during that o' so strange egg binge sometime in january, guess how many eggs HaterTot ate in 1 week?
9) what came first: the chicken or the egg?
10) WFL??? (and it better have eggs in it)

*if you do not like eggs, then you are a loser. if you are allergic to eggs, then i pity you b/c your genetics have forced you into not liking eggs. nevertheless, you should just answer the survey anyway pretending that you like eggs OR substituting the word "eggs" with some kind of food item you do like...though you are a loser, i don't necessarily want you to feel left out.

Lunch Is Important

I just can’t do breakfast. I’ve tried to implement an oatmeal or cereal regimen time and time again, but it never sticks. I eat two meals a day. Lunch and dinner. Actually, I don’t even really eat dinner anymore. I just kind of graze around my apartment from 7 – 11. Last night I chopped up half a cantaloupe around 7:00 and ate a few pieces. Then I uncorked a bottle of wine around 8:00 and opened a pack of proscuitto. For the next couple hours I just walked into the kitchen periodically and popped a piece of melon and a piece of proscuitto in my mouth and went back and sat on the couch and chewed at the TV while alternating between baseball and season 2 of the Sopranos. Then I had some bread and fell asleep.
(It just started snowing here in chi-digs.)
Tonight I have the other half of melon and the rest of the proscuitto, so it will be pretty much a repeat of last night, except throw in the Office and the Battle Star Galactica miniseries.

So, yeah, lunch is really the only formal meal I have each day. So it’s pretty fucking important. And today, I’m thinking burrito.

WFL?

Guilty Pleasures, Dirty Secrets

I have a confession to make.

I have a short list of guilty pleasures: things I do or things I like that I am too embarassed to admit in casual conversation. In fact, like that cockcrow-hearing Saint Peter, I have been known to explicitly deride in public some things that I deeply enjoy in private. (Incidentally, I think that may be proof that I'm the right stuff for Congress. Or, at least the clergy. Quite possibly both.)

I've recognized many of those proclivities for a good long time now. Here's a partial list of the well-established ones:
1 - Road trip meals of beef jerky, orange Hostess cupcakes, and strawberry soda.
2 - Watching Lifetime movies.
3 - Squeezing blackheads.
4 - Staying in bed until 5PM.
5 - The musical stylings of Hilary Duff.

Yesterday at lunch time, I drove about four miles down the road (which is no insignificant undertaking in suburban northern Virginia) to run an errand for a friend of mine. For those of you keeping score at home, THAT is what disrupted my plans to go that little-loaf-of-bread sandwich place across the street yet again. I figured I would just pick something up along the way.

And, pick something up along the way I did. In the course of doing so, I recognized (and immediately knew I had to conceal) yet another - but new to me this time - guilty pleasure: fast food fish.

That's right. I went to Long John Silver's yesterday, and I ordered the Variety Combo #4. It came with two fish filets, three chicken planks, fries, cole slaw, and - GET THIS! - a sampler pack of their new "Veggie Bites" which, of course, means two fried jalapeno poppers and two fried broccoli-and-cheese nuggets.

I haven't seen such a large and varied collection of the recently fried since Bonnaroo, and this was twice as tasty. In fact, the whole experience was divine. Well, at least up until the catastrophic evacuation of my lower GI tract about forty-five minutes later.

So, here's my question for you: what are your guilty pleasures? What do you find yourself craving and indulging that you don't want to admit in polite company?

And, of course, WFL?

Let it out!!! (posting for Miso)

Mother fucker...GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FOOD!!!

So I have this massive man in my office that HAS to fucking hover over my goddamn food and comment about everything. Really he's just waiting for me to offer him one little morsel of my pathetic home packed lunch.

I truly hate when people ask me what i'm eating. There is a fucking reason that I'm eating in my office and in the dark. Stay the fuck away!! Don't ask shit man!

I know we've had posts before about pet peeves but there are a lot of newcomers lately that haven't had the floor to vent and hey, i'm sure we've developed new reasons to hate the folks around us in the past few months. So let it all out and while the venom spews and the food flies, tell us WFL BITCHES????!!!????

PS...if you have anything else you want to bitch about...LET IT OUT YO!!

"Just keep loving old Buck. Don't weep for Buck. No, man, be happy, be thankful."

A OWFL tribute to Buck O'Neil.

Mining for Lunch

Bust of Christopher Columbus in Parmesan Cheese for SorrentoLittle Italy Festival, NYC, October 2003

(for more food sculpture pictures, including, I'm sure, what are some of the butter sculptures Abs has come across in campaigning, see jimvictor.com)

So it's Columbus Day and probably 3 of us are actually at work and half the restaurants around here are closed. Today is also (coincidence?? I think not) Moldy Cheese Day (who uncovered that hidden gem?). So, for all y'all who aren't working today, clean out your fridge - find that hunk of brie stuck in the back, or pull out that bag of Kraft mozzarella that you forgot about. Pick out the green parts and enjoy a cheese sandwich! So in that vein, what are your other favorite foods to pull out, cut the bad part off of & eat away? Me, I like crustless bread (the crusts had mold, of course!) with de-molded cheddar. Mmmmm . . . . unmoldy. So, hopefully that answers this question, but I'll ask it anyway . . . What's For Lunch??

Critter eats

I get up early in the morning and do a little light jogging. I punctuate this by moments of fast sprinting. Then I'll go to see if the guy is awake. Not yet. OK, perhaps some more running. Not working either. How's about a wrestling match with my brother on the same bed as the guy. That's got him up, perhaps there'll be food now. No, he just threw my brother. Maybe he'll get the idea to feed us if I crap in the hallway. Yes, Yes, Yes, he's getting up. Hey buddy why the abuse? Why are you putting my nose in poop? I only did that so that you would know that there's room in my little belly for more food. Come on, just make with the meow mix and we'll be ok.

I wish I could capture the right tone of insanity and rediculousness that must go on in the mind of a simple housecat, but I don't think you can put that kind animal intelligence into words. and by animal intelligence, of course, I mean stupidity.

I am cat sitting this weekend for my sister and Professor Nicholas Von Whiskers, and Gus Jackson the First. Dumb names, dumb animals. Cute, but dumb.

So I got to thinking, how would I lunch if I was an animal. More specifically, how would I eat if I were a house pet animal with no wild instincts. I'd probably go the route of working the cute factor to get the humans to fill my bowl with hog anus and horsemeat, or whatever they put in the awful smelling cat food. In addition to working the cute, I'd learn where the food is stored and how to get to it because I can't be fed on somebody else's schedule. I's hungry now.

SO if you were an animal, how would you go about getting your lunch? How did you go about getting your lunch today? Whatcha eatin' on this dreary Friday?

Macaroni & Cheesy

This past Saturday I joined some of the GLOOWFL for a dinner of comfort food at HT's apt.

Delicious piping hot French Onion Soup and even more delicious Mac & Cheese which was cooked up with some bacon ("and bacon makes everything better").

Today I feel like the OWFL is in need of some good old comfort food so share with us some of your all time favorite food pick me ups...now before you start chanting "Hey Czar, we've done comfort foods before!" Today I'm asking you to add a twist to it. Tell us about those foods that comfort you, remind you of a safe and loving place, and also tell us about a couple songs that put you in the same mood. Some old cheesy songs that remind you of simpler times and immediately bring a smile to your face and warmth to your belly..

Just to show what a good sport I am I'll start by admitting to one of my comfort songs; Whenever I hear "Just When I Needed You Most" by Randy Vanwarmer I am instantly transported to my childhood in the 70's and can see and hear my Mom playing records and singing to me. Instant comfort.

What songs and foods put you in your special comfort place?

Tell us about them and don't forget to tell us WFL?

Total Lunch Screw ups

Lunch screw ups happen to everyone. Some of them are induced by others and some of them are just plain old self-induced.

Lactose intolerant? You know you shouldn't eat that creamy cheesy dish .. but you did anyway.

Drinking a soda and everyone is in a good mood that day? You shouldn't have started drinking when the other person was telling that joke. Ouch, it burns like battery acid in your nose.

Shouldn't have ordered that damn red sauce dish with your new white shirt .. you know you have big tits. You knew a drop or two were bound to be caught.

We all do it, I have been taken to lunch by the boss and got a beer .... when the boss was a titotaller. Good thing I didn't spend that long in that job. I hated it.

So even though everthing has a purpose and everything has it place. Don'tcha wish sometimes it wasn't you spewing coke out of your nose in front of the cute girl/guy and the table?

Its a good day to laugh at yourself and tell us WFL? ... and uh WCOOYN?

Lost Lunch

I'm gearing up big time for the season premiere of Lost tomorrow night. I still have a couple more episodes of season two to complete, but it has gotten me thinking. If I was on the island, I would probably do OK because I love fish and fruit. There always seems to be a plethora of mangoes on the island and seeing as they are one of my favorite fruits, particularly for breakfast, I would be happy for a while. But the mundanity of eating the same thing day after day, lunch after lunch would probably start to crush my spirit.

I would miss bread tremendously. The smell of bread baking has to be one of the greatest things in the world. And meat, especially beef, would be one of my main cravings I am certain, and no amount of wild boar would replace a New York Strip or a big old bacon cheeseburger. Oh yes, Cheese. Glorious cheese. I would be missing cheese big time and all forms of dairy. And of course candy. And donuts. Coca Cola classic. Coffee. I could go on and on, but I want to hear what you would miss if you were trapped on an island with the others and some mysterious magnetic station.

And you know, WFL?

Covering for Peep, That Slack-Ass Whorebag

I like to make these bitches as timely and topical as possible. As such, today I’m wondering, “What will Mark Foley be eating in rehab?” “What are the Supreme Court Justices having today, on their first day back?” “What does the possible NYC trans-fat ban mean to our lunching brethren in the Big Apple?” “What are my 4-0 Baltimore Ravens having for lunch today?” “What did Anna Nicole and her lawyer/baby-daddy/rumored-new husband eat at their wedding?”

Today is October 2 and it’s yet another perfect fall day here in our nation’s capital. If I could walk, I would go take an afternoon constitutional. Instead I’m actually going to work on my resume and get this whole “job search” business underway. For lunch, I’m not quite sure. I woke up sort of late this morning, so I’m not really hungry. I kind of want pancakes though, and I think there are a couple of rotting bananas left in that fucking fruit basket.

I’d also like to give special love and thanks to Lady A, and er, Lord A for taking me to the hospital on Friday night. People – if you ever have to go to the ER, bring Lady A. (do not however call Jo to bring you burgers from Five Guys, as he will not, and will in fact try to talk you out of even wanting them) But Lady A came equipped with snacks and travel Scrabble. She rocks.

So, what do you think folks in the news are having for lunch today? What are you having for lunch today? Might any of you be lunching with folks in the news?

dear blogger...

dear blogger,

this is a formal letter of complaint from the OWFLers about your inability to perform as of late. i mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? we post, and your site is unavailable. we comment, and you randomly erase what we've spent a long time formulating and typing. how are we able to talk about lunch when you act so erratically? honestly, do you need to do a system "master cleanse"? how about viagra? i mean, you used to be so good to us.

therefore, i hereby announce that we OWFLers will be divorcing your ass as soon as possible. irreconcilable differences? that's just the tip of the iceburg, buddy!

so, please allow us to talk about lunch today without more problems. and if we cannot, i will understand that it is not a result of our lack of OWFL dedication as it is your stupid inability to satisfy even our most basic desires.

blogger, you are about as limp as my boyfriend after a few drinks. (that is, if i HAD boyfriend...)

ok, WFL?

Over the Top Lunches

Seems these days the new product lines are about extreme-ness and to-the-max-osity. My deodorant talks about how it provides “Extreme Protection Against Wetness and Odor!!!!!” That sounds pretty nice if you ask me. Gatorade was many Extreme!!! Beverages, even Spanish Gatorade “Es muy X-TR-R-R-R-R-EEEE MOOOOO!!!”

















So if our deodorant is so fucking pumped and awesome, and our drinky’s provide so much “over the top” ultimate power:

Are you getting the most out of your meals?
Does your lunch provide eXtreme power and performance?
What do you eat when you know that later that day, you too will need to go "Over the Top Dad! GO OVER THE TOP!!"

What exactly would a high-performance meal entail?

What would a triathlete eat for lunch vs. someone preparing for a night of binge drinking? Does your lunch choices ever vary depending on something you’re preparing for that will require you to be at your peak performance?

And today, WFL?

Soups, Stews and Stoups...Oh my! and Your Standing Backup Plan

Hey, hey, hey! Sorry for the late post! Picking up for E-que who got a little caught up at that place called "work"!

So the seasonal transition is in full swing....never mind all the holiday crap that is starting to creep into the grocery/department stores already...but there is that crispness in the air that makes you want to pull out your most comfy sweaters or that broken-in just perfectly hooded sweatshirt. This is my favorite time of year! I love getting up in the morning and stepping outside and feeling the cool, but not too cool weather. I love the colors that the leaves turn, sitting by a campfire with a cup of hot cider spiked with rum, I love how there is Thanksgiving right around the corner and I love ALL the thick, rich foods associated with the season!

I got the bug last night for something hearty and spicy, so I had HT and LC over and threw together a big pot of white chicken chili full of beans, peppers, onions, spices...the aroma of it filled the apt. and got me all excited because it made me realize that soup/stew season is upon us (quick shout out to HT's fried zuch and LC's fatty bubbalatty salad-delicious)! The crockpot is my second favorite kitchen appliance, next to the kitchen aid of course...and I am ready to dust it off and give it it's seasonal home outside of the cupboard and on the counter. There is nothing like coming home to a rich stew that has been simmering in the crock all day. AND not only does it make wonderful dinners...but GREAT leftovers for lunch! So let's welcome the season of beef stews, hearty soups, spicy chilis and split pea specialties today!!!

So tell us not only WFL today, but what are you looking forward to in your upcoming autumn lunches?

-------------------------------------------------

Business note: I set up the calendar for October. I know there are still a couple of you who don't like the schedule, so here is another option for YOU to pick YOUR days. If you are particular or have a hectic schedule, then go sign up for what works for you! I'll fill in any blanks that are left and if you can't do it, either delete yourself or swap with someone else. There are a good amount of contributors now, so if you do sign yourself up only pick up to two days max. And if it turns out that some people didn't get a day, we can just do some more swapping.

Any questions?

Your Standing Backup Plan

(E-Que, Eq...what's the difference?)

I'm sad to say I haven't run in to this situation all that much since my stupid employers moved us out to the silly suburbs since nobody in their right mind would just happen to be here, but back when I worked in downtown DC there would be days when I would get a call from a friend I hadn't heard from in far too long:
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
- I'm at work.
- What are you doing for lunch?
- What the hell do you care? I'm not in Atlanta.
- I know, but I'm in DC, and I'm three blocks from your office.

Suddenly, I had to shift gears from resigning myself to eating stale styrofoam peanuts and old Post-It glue for lunch to coming up with a suitable lunch venue to take an out-of-towner.

So, what's your go-to lunchery for such last-minute swings? And, why?

And, of course, WFL?

(post combining courtesy of HT - things are crazy round these parts these days...)

Insomnia

Hello all! It's my first post, and I was so excited I couldn't sleep! No, not really, but I do have a wee bit of insomnia, and thought I would get a few things off my to-do list before the sun comes up.
But, of course, since it's 4:30 in the morning, I'm already thinking about lunch. (Actually, it's 4:30 so I'm thinking about breakfast, which will be a honey crisp apple and some smokled gouda I picked up at Eastern Market yesterday). Hangover lunches have been discussed at length, but what do you eat when you're experiencing lack of sleep due to something other than alcohol? We've all been there, up before dawn, whether it's because we've been cramming for that big test, doing laundry the night before a big trip, nervous about an interview, or you're just a freak like me. But what do you eat the next day? I know I always feel a little off, so I want something soothing, but nourishing. Something that doesn't take a lot of energy to digest, since I need that energy to just keep going. Usually soup fits the bill, but I'm open to suggestions. What do you eat after a long night of working hard or staring at the ceiling? Anybody know of any good energy boosting meals? And, at lunch, how much caffeine is too much?
Oh, and according to the calendar, today is also "Family Day." So if you have a kid, please eat with them, no matter how tired you may be.
And, as always . . . WFL?

Happy Hour foul up

1000 Apologies to the entire lunch community.

Timing and technology kept me from meeting up with anybody at Bravo Bravo and I wasn't there for the New President Toast, and I had to raise my Mug at the apointed time.

I got to BB at the time that everybody went to peek in at another HH. I thought that perhaps they had gone to Buffalo Billiards and went to check in up there. Found nobody, went to Furduckers.

Couldn't call anybody since I haven't gotten all of my numbers transfered from the old phone to the new one.

Terrible first attempt by the OWFL Special Events Cooridnator. Sorry Folks. If you give me another chance, I guarentee improvement.

This is not today's post, just a message. So don't tell me what's for lunch.

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Lady A Amendment....

Ms. HT so gracioulsy covered me the other day so we'll give her a break on today's post and just use MikeySunshine's foul up post.

SO, did anyone else foul up last night?? I did fo' sho'. I drank a little too much last night, wound up getting a crap load of food from McD's (a Big Mac value meal/crispy chix value meal/10 piece nugget meal/and a double cheeseburger to be exact...for me AND mr. Uni..I swear!!) and started baking a cake at 10:30 at night...finally had to go to bed at 2am...and got sick at some point (coulda been the mcdonalds...just maybe...and the vodkas).

And of course people....WFL????!

Stickin' it to the man...

Welcome, fellow OWFLers, to my first official post! And so it begins. Please be gentle.

So, yesterday my boss and my boss's boss took me out to lunch. In part, it was because my boss's boss was worried about what I was going to say when they told me that my boss is going to be working from home three days a week until she has her child in three months; however, it was mostly because my boss's boss likes going out to lunch.

Now, I don't object to being taken out to lunch, although it's kind of beat when all of those lunches for OTHER people wind up cutting in to my profit-sharing check. That tends to be more of an issue when you wind up going somewhere nice. Like Morton's, The Steakhouse. Which we did. Yesterday.

As I sat there yesterday, it put me in to a minor moral quandary. I really wasn't all that hungry, but how often do I eat - lunch or otherwise - at Morton's, much less on someone else's dime, even less on the company's dime? Do I order the $27 Stacked New York Strip Steak (with blue cheese and tomatoes)? Or, do I settle in for a more reasonable $16 Warm Steak Salad?

When your boss is picking up your lunch check, do you go with reasonable? Or, do you go all the way?

Wait a minute. The fog I created last night is lifting here for a moment, and I seem to recall having that discussion here in the recent past. Damn it! I was all excited about this last night, and now I'm botching my maiden voyage!

So, how about this? In addition to my menu anxiety yesterday, I was having the type of day when I could have fucked up a beer at lunch (as opposed to fucking up about a dozen later in the day). So, in the same situation - work lunch with higher-ups - what signs do you read to order an adult beverage? Where's your green light? Where's your red light?

And, of course, WFL?

Crankypants

I tried to do a google image search for "crankypants" and all it turned up were hundreds of pictures of pissed off looking babies and toddlers. Idiots.

So then I did one for "angry lunch" and liked what I found better. And, I'd be happy to share them with you, if blogger wasn't such a motherfucking whore. So, you'll have to make do with my descriptions of the two images I chose for you.

Image #1 - an open faced bologna sandwich, looks to be on wheat, with angry faces drawn with mustard on the bologna (two faces, one on each piece of bread)

Image #2 - a drawing of a male unicorn in chaps and a star spangled banner t-shirt, flashing a peace sign, with a dialogue bubble that says, "Patriotism doesn't have to be bloodthirsty"

I have no idea what the latter has to do with anger or lunch, but it was funny.

So, you may have deduced that I'm pissy today. Not for any reason, I'm just tired and cranky and I don't feel like doing anything that doesn't involve sitting on my couch, watching tv and napping. Instead, I'm revising a proposal.

Special thanks to the E-que/Shorty family for dinner last night. Pierogies with bacon and sour cream is always a good time. Washed down with a glass or two of Boreskola (what we call Bull's Blood and Coke in Hungary) and I was a happy HT.

For lunch, I'm having two tomatoes - one yellow, one red - with a smidge of salt and balsamic. Blogger will be having my tiny, little fist up its incompetent asshole. What will YOU be having?

HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!! ARGGGGGGG!!

Sorry bout the late post guys, had to fight with some bitches this morning about a clothing donation I was trying to make...I lost.

So, its Talk Like a Pirate Day...I have a post-it eyepatch on in celebration and my index finger (when not typing) is hooked. So, what are we eating on this holiest of holidays?? What would a pirate eat?? I have an apple in honor of the late Captain Barbosa, but the rest is up in the air. I wish there was a turkey leg stand somewhere around here...

WFL MATIES?!?!?!

What special events are for lunch

When the Czarina asked me to be the Special Events coordinator in her administration, I was happy to accept. Mostly because I don't have a real or actual job, so the responsibility of coordinating things really gets me up and going in the morning... well it's more like it gets me up and gives me a reason to put on pants... which I still haven't done yet today.

As Special Event coordinator, I assume it is my role to get information and details posted for all to enjoy.

The first event of this administration should natrually be an innauguration and I propose that alcohol be involved. For discussion, I throw out the suggestion of a Happy Hour at some BB place in downtown Capital City as the site for this celebration. I personally like Buffalo Billiards, but I know there is always momentum towards Bravo Bravo. In your comments today, please address your thoughts on this special event. (I hate alcohol, I hate the new Czarina, I am tired of Bravo, Bravo, I'll be out of town, I don't have a job and therefore no income, I live in Houston and can't make it on such short notice, I'll be there at 3:00...Whatever the case may be)

And for discussion, I submit to you..."What does it take to make lunch a special event for you."

I am sure there are those among us who would say that lunch is by definition special, and that's fine, but the question stands. I know that back in middle school all it took to make lunch a special event was the inclusion of pizza. As we mature, like in college for example, what makes lunch a special event is when somebody else picks up the check. Nowadays, a simple lunch where the food is good, the company and conversation are interesting and there is no line for the Tilt-a-Whirl qualifies as a special event for me.

So as you tell us what is for lunch today, please also let us know what would make it less of a meal and more of a special event.

BORED

Entertain me, OWFL! I am so bored here! I should be doing things like writing thank you notes to people I don't know to thank them for their kindness in my "family's" time of sadness, or some other such bs. Or, starting to clean out my grandmother's house in a more constructive way than, "Throw all of this shit out!" Or visiting old family friends and laughing about our decades-long obsession with little people. (more on wee ones in just a sec) However, I am sitting on my dad's couch in my pjs, with Mr. Dirty Mitts peacefully wheezing beside me, watching the Food Network and football. It looks like a nice day outside, but I don't feel like being out among the yinzers, even if it's not Game Day in the Steel City.

Last night though, I had what might have been the highlight of my trip, when I met up with the always fun and lovely Watchdog family at Fatheads on the Souside. (that's "the South Side" a Pittsburgh neighborhood, on the - you got it - south side of the city, across the Mon (Monongahela River) from Dahntahn (Downtown).) Having eaten earlier with my dad, I picked at the parm wings and shrooms, and admired the gusto with which WD and the older of the WD kids eat sandwiches bigger than my head. Actually, WD only consumed about 1/3 of his Fuddwich, with the kids firmly outeating all of us. Anyhoo, I was proud of my fellow Pittsburghers' collective behavior in not giving the head-to-toe MSU clad WD family a hard time, though Pitt's loss at their hands likely played a role in keeping the Yinzers in check.

So, are there any other OWFLers out there today????? I'm dying for some entertainment. Yesterday afternoon I did some shopping to take advantage of the Macy's sale and PA's lack of sales tax on clothing. But today, it's me, the couch, the dirty cat, and the tv. BOOOORRRIIINNNGGGGG (but better than the alternatives). So, what's everyone eating today? I had some cold pizza when I woke up, but nothing since. I might have a beer. Inspire me, OWFL!