Lunch Is Important

I just can’t do breakfast. I’ve tried to implement an oatmeal or cereal regimen time and time again, but it never sticks. I eat two meals a day. Lunch and dinner. Actually, I don’t even really eat dinner anymore. I just kind of graze around my apartment from 7 – 11. Last night I chopped up half a cantaloupe around 7:00 and ate a few pieces. Then I uncorked a bottle of wine around 8:00 and opened a pack of proscuitto. For the next couple hours I just walked into the kitchen periodically and popped a piece of melon and a piece of proscuitto in my mouth and went back and sat on the couch and chewed at the TV while alternating between baseball and season 2 of the Sopranos. Then I had some bread and fell asleep.
(It just started snowing here in chi-digs.)
Tonight I have the other half of melon and the rest of the proscuitto, so it will be pretty much a repeat of last night, except throw in the Office and the Battle Star Galactica miniseries.

So, yeah, lunch is really the only formal meal I have each day. So it’s pretty fucking important. And today, I’m thinking burrito.

WFL?

Guilty Pleasures, Dirty Secrets

I have a confession to make.

I have a short list of guilty pleasures: things I do or things I like that I am too embarassed to admit in casual conversation. In fact, like that cockcrow-hearing Saint Peter, I have been known to explicitly deride in public some things that I deeply enjoy in private. (Incidentally, I think that may be proof that I'm the right stuff for Congress. Or, at least the clergy. Quite possibly both.)

I've recognized many of those proclivities for a good long time now. Here's a partial list of the well-established ones:
1 - Road trip meals of beef jerky, orange Hostess cupcakes, and strawberry soda.
2 - Watching Lifetime movies.
3 - Squeezing blackheads.
4 - Staying in bed until 5PM.
5 - The musical stylings of Hilary Duff.

Yesterday at lunch time, I drove about four miles down the road (which is no insignificant undertaking in suburban northern Virginia) to run an errand for a friend of mine. For those of you keeping score at home, THAT is what disrupted my plans to go that little-loaf-of-bread sandwich place across the street yet again. I figured I would just pick something up along the way.

And, pick something up along the way I did. In the course of doing so, I recognized (and immediately knew I had to conceal) yet another - but new to me this time - guilty pleasure: fast food fish.

That's right. I went to Long John Silver's yesterday, and I ordered the Variety Combo #4. It came with two fish filets, three chicken planks, fries, cole slaw, and - GET THIS! - a sampler pack of their new "Veggie Bites" which, of course, means two fried jalapeno poppers and two fried broccoli-and-cheese nuggets.

I haven't seen such a large and varied collection of the recently fried since Bonnaroo, and this was twice as tasty. In fact, the whole experience was divine. Well, at least up until the catastrophic evacuation of my lower GI tract about forty-five minutes later.

So, here's my question for you: what are your guilty pleasures? What do you find yourself craving and indulging that you don't want to admit in polite company?

And, of course, WFL?

Let it out!!! (posting for Miso)

Mother fucker...GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FOOD!!!

So I have this massive man in my office that HAS to fucking hover over my goddamn food and comment about everything. Really he's just waiting for me to offer him one little morsel of my pathetic home packed lunch.

I truly hate when people ask me what i'm eating. There is a fucking reason that I'm eating in my office and in the dark. Stay the fuck away!! Don't ask shit man!

I know we've had posts before about pet peeves but there are a lot of newcomers lately that haven't had the floor to vent and hey, i'm sure we've developed new reasons to hate the folks around us in the past few months. So let it all out and while the venom spews and the food flies, tell us WFL BITCHES????!!!????

PS...if you have anything else you want to bitch about...LET IT OUT YO!!

"Just keep loving old Buck. Don't weep for Buck. No, man, be happy, be thankful."

A OWFL tribute to Buck O'Neil.

Mining for Lunch

Bust of Christopher Columbus in Parmesan Cheese for SorrentoLittle Italy Festival, NYC, October 2003

(for more food sculpture pictures, including, I'm sure, what are some of the butter sculptures Abs has come across in campaigning, see jimvictor.com)

So it's Columbus Day and probably 3 of us are actually at work and half the restaurants around here are closed. Today is also (coincidence?? I think not) Moldy Cheese Day (who uncovered that hidden gem?). So, for all y'all who aren't working today, clean out your fridge - find that hunk of brie stuck in the back, or pull out that bag of Kraft mozzarella that you forgot about. Pick out the green parts and enjoy a cheese sandwich! So in that vein, what are your other favorite foods to pull out, cut the bad part off of & eat away? Me, I like crustless bread (the crusts had mold, of course!) with de-molded cheddar. Mmmmm . . . . unmoldy. So, hopefully that answers this question, but I'll ask it anyway . . . What's For Lunch??

Critter eats

I get up early in the morning and do a little light jogging. I punctuate this by moments of fast sprinting. Then I'll go to see if the guy is awake. Not yet. OK, perhaps some more running. Not working either. How's about a wrestling match with my brother on the same bed as the guy. That's got him up, perhaps there'll be food now. No, he just threw my brother. Maybe he'll get the idea to feed us if I crap in the hallway. Yes, Yes, Yes, he's getting up. Hey buddy why the abuse? Why are you putting my nose in poop? I only did that so that you would know that there's room in my little belly for more food. Come on, just make with the meow mix and we'll be ok.

I wish I could capture the right tone of insanity and rediculousness that must go on in the mind of a simple housecat, but I don't think you can put that kind animal intelligence into words. and by animal intelligence, of course, I mean stupidity.

I am cat sitting this weekend for my sister and Professor Nicholas Von Whiskers, and Gus Jackson the First. Dumb names, dumb animals. Cute, but dumb.

So I got to thinking, how would I lunch if I was an animal. More specifically, how would I eat if I were a house pet animal with no wild instincts. I'd probably go the route of working the cute factor to get the humans to fill my bowl with hog anus and horsemeat, or whatever they put in the awful smelling cat food. In addition to working the cute, I'd learn where the food is stored and how to get to it because I can't be fed on somebody else's schedule. I's hungry now.

SO if you were an animal, how would you go about getting your lunch? How did you go about getting your lunch today? Whatcha eatin' on this dreary Friday?

Macaroni & Cheesy

This past Saturday I joined some of the GLOOWFL for a dinner of comfort food at HT's apt.

Delicious piping hot French Onion Soup and even more delicious Mac & Cheese which was cooked up with some bacon ("and bacon makes everything better").

Today I feel like the OWFL is in need of some good old comfort food so share with us some of your all time favorite food pick me ups...now before you start chanting "Hey Czar, we've done comfort foods before!" Today I'm asking you to add a twist to it. Tell us about those foods that comfort you, remind you of a safe and loving place, and also tell us about a couple songs that put you in the same mood. Some old cheesy songs that remind you of simpler times and immediately bring a smile to your face and warmth to your belly..

Just to show what a good sport I am I'll start by admitting to one of my comfort songs; Whenever I hear "Just When I Needed You Most" by Randy Vanwarmer I am instantly transported to my childhood in the 70's and can see and hear my Mom playing records and singing to me. Instant comfort.

What songs and foods put you in your special comfort place?

Tell us about them and don't forget to tell us WFL?

Total Lunch Screw ups

Lunch screw ups happen to everyone. Some of them are induced by others and some of them are just plain old self-induced.

Lactose intolerant? You know you shouldn't eat that creamy cheesy dish .. but you did anyway.

Drinking a soda and everyone is in a good mood that day? You shouldn't have started drinking when the other person was telling that joke. Ouch, it burns like battery acid in your nose.

Shouldn't have ordered that damn red sauce dish with your new white shirt .. you know you have big tits. You knew a drop or two were bound to be caught.

We all do it, I have been taken to lunch by the boss and got a beer .... when the boss was a titotaller. Good thing I didn't spend that long in that job. I hated it.

So even though everthing has a purpose and everything has it place. Don'tcha wish sometimes it wasn't you spewing coke out of your nose in front of the cute girl/guy and the table?

Its a good day to laugh at yourself and tell us WFL? ... and uh WCOOYN?

Lost Lunch

I'm gearing up big time for the season premiere of Lost tomorrow night. I still have a couple more episodes of season two to complete, but it has gotten me thinking. If I was on the island, I would probably do OK because I love fish and fruit. There always seems to be a plethora of mangoes on the island and seeing as they are one of my favorite fruits, particularly for breakfast, I would be happy for a while. But the mundanity of eating the same thing day after day, lunch after lunch would probably start to crush my spirit.

I would miss bread tremendously. The smell of bread baking has to be one of the greatest things in the world. And meat, especially beef, would be one of my main cravings I am certain, and no amount of wild boar would replace a New York Strip or a big old bacon cheeseburger. Oh yes, Cheese. Glorious cheese. I would be missing cheese big time and all forms of dairy. And of course candy. And donuts. Coca Cola classic. Coffee. I could go on and on, but I want to hear what you would miss if you were trapped on an island with the others and some mysterious magnetic station.

And you know, WFL?

Covering for Peep, That Slack-Ass Whorebag

I like to make these bitches as timely and topical as possible. As such, today I’m wondering, “What will Mark Foley be eating in rehab?” “What are the Supreme Court Justices having today, on their first day back?” “What does the possible NYC trans-fat ban mean to our lunching brethren in the Big Apple?” “What are my 4-0 Baltimore Ravens having for lunch today?” “What did Anna Nicole and her lawyer/baby-daddy/rumored-new husband eat at their wedding?”

Today is October 2 and it’s yet another perfect fall day here in our nation’s capital. If I could walk, I would go take an afternoon constitutional. Instead I’m actually going to work on my resume and get this whole “job search” business underway. For lunch, I’m not quite sure. I woke up sort of late this morning, so I’m not really hungry. I kind of want pancakes though, and I think there are a couple of rotting bananas left in that fucking fruit basket.

I’d also like to give special love and thanks to Lady A, and er, Lord A for taking me to the hospital on Friday night. People – if you ever have to go to the ER, bring Lady A. (do not however call Jo to bring you burgers from Five Guys, as he will not, and will in fact try to talk you out of even wanting them) But Lady A came equipped with snacks and travel Scrabble. She rocks.

So, what do you think folks in the news are having for lunch today? What are you having for lunch today? Might any of you be lunching with folks in the news?

dear blogger...

dear blogger,

this is a formal letter of complaint from the OWFLers about your inability to perform as of late. i mean seriously WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?!? we post, and your site is unavailable. we comment, and you randomly erase what we've spent a long time formulating and typing. how are we able to talk about lunch when you act so erratically? honestly, do you need to do a system "master cleanse"? how about viagra? i mean, you used to be so good to us.

therefore, i hereby announce that we OWFLers will be divorcing your ass as soon as possible. irreconcilable differences? that's just the tip of the iceburg, buddy!

so, please allow us to talk about lunch today without more problems. and if we cannot, i will understand that it is not a result of our lack of OWFL dedication as it is your stupid inability to satisfy even our most basic desires.

blogger, you are about as limp as my boyfriend after a few drinks. (that is, if i HAD boyfriend...)

ok, WFL?

Over the Top Lunches

Seems these days the new product lines are about extreme-ness and to-the-max-osity. My deodorant talks about how it provides “Extreme Protection Against Wetness and Odor!!!!!” That sounds pretty nice if you ask me. Gatorade was many Extreme!!! Beverages, even Spanish Gatorade “Es muy X-TR-R-R-R-R-EEEE MOOOOO!!!”

















So if our deodorant is so fucking pumped and awesome, and our drinky’s provide so much “over the top” ultimate power:

Are you getting the most out of your meals?
Does your lunch provide eXtreme power and performance?
What do you eat when you know that later that day, you too will need to go "Over the Top Dad! GO OVER THE TOP!!"

What exactly would a high-performance meal entail?

What would a triathlete eat for lunch vs. someone preparing for a night of binge drinking? Does your lunch choices ever vary depending on something you’re preparing for that will require you to be at your peak performance?

And today, WFL?

Soups, Stews and Stoups...Oh my! and Your Standing Backup Plan

Hey, hey, hey! Sorry for the late post! Picking up for E-que who got a little caught up at that place called "work"!

So the seasonal transition is in full swing....never mind all the holiday crap that is starting to creep into the grocery/department stores already...but there is that crispness in the air that makes you want to pull out your most comfy sweaters or that broken-in just perfectly hooded sweatshirt. This is my favorite time of year! I love getting up in the morning and stepping outside and feeling the cool, but not too cool weather. I love the colors that the leaves turn, sitting by a campfire with a cup of hot cider spiked with rum, I love how there is Thanksgiving right around the corner and I love ALL the thick, rich foods associated with the season!

I got the bug last night for something hearty and spicy, so I had HT and LC over and threw together a big pot of white chicken chili full of beans, peppers, onions, spices...the aroma of it filled the apt. and got me all excited because it made me realize that soup/stew season is upon us (quick shout out to HT's fried zuch and LC's fatty bubbalatty salad-delicious)! The crockpot is my second favorite kitchen appliance, next to the kitchen aid of course...and I am ready to dust it off and give it it's seasonal home outside of the cupboard and on the counter. There is nothing like coming home to a rich stew that has been simmering in the crock all day. AND not only does it make wonderful dinners...but GREAT leftovers for lunch! So let's welcome the season of beef stews, hearty soups, spicy chilis and split pea specialties today!!!

So tell us not only WFL today, but what are you looking forward to in your upcoming autumn lunches?

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Business note: I set up the calendar for October. I know there are still a couple of you who don't like the schedule, so here is another option for YOU to pick YOUR days. If you are particular or have a hectic schedule, then go sign up for what works for you! I'll fill in any blanks that are left and if you can't do it, either delete yourself or swap with someone else. There are a good amount of contributors now, so if you do sign yourself up only pick up to two days max. And if it turns out that some people didn't get a day, we can just do some more swapping.

Any questions?

Your Standing Backup Plan

(E-Que, Eq...what's the difference?)

I'm sad to say I haven't run in to this situation all that much since my stupid employers moved us out to the silly suburbs since nobody in their right mind would just happen to be here, but back when I worked in downtown DC there would be days when I would get a call from a friend I hadn't heard from in far too long:
- Hey, man, what are you doing?
- I'm at work.
- What are you doing for lunch?
- What the hell do you care? I'm not in Atlanta.
- I know, but I'm in DC, and I'm three blocks from your office.

Suddenly, I had to shift gears from resigning myself to eating stale styrofoam peanuts and old Post-It glue for lunch to coming up with a suitable lunch venue to take an out-of-towner.

So, what's your go-to lunchery for such last-minute swings? And, why?

And, of course, WFL?

(post combining courtesy of HT - things are crazy round these parts these days...)

Insomnia

Hello all! It's my first post, and I was so excited I couldn't sleep! No, not really, but I do have a wee bit of insomnia, and thought I would get a few things off my to-do list before the sun comes up.
But, of course, since it's 4:30 in the morning, I'm already thinking about lunch. (Actually, it's 4:30 so I'm thinking about breakfast, which will be a honey crisp apple and some smokled gouda I picked up at Eastern Market yesterday). Hangover lunches have been discussed at length, but what do you eat when you're experiencing lack of sleep due to something other than alcohol? We've all been there, up before dawn, whether it's because we've been cramming for that big test, doing laundry the night before a big trip, nervous about an interview, or you're just a freak like me. But what do you eat the next day? I know I always feel a little off, so I want something soothing, but nourishing. Something that doesn't take a lot of energy to digest, since I need that energy to just keep going. Usually soup fits the bill, but I'm open to suggestions. What do you eat after a long night of working hard or staring at the ceiling? Anybody know of any good energy boosting meals? And, at lunch, how much caffeine is too much?
Oh, and according to the calendar, today is also "Family Day." So if you have a kid, please eat with them, no matter how tired you may be.
And, as always . . . WFL?

Happy Hour foul up

1000 Apologies to the entire lunch community.

Timing and technology kept me from meeting up with anybody at Bravo Bravo and I wasn't there for the New President Toast, and I had to raise my Mug at the apointed time.

I got to BB at the time that everybody went to peek in at another HH. I thought that perhaps they had gone to Buffalo Billiards and went to check in up there. Found nobody, went to Furduckers.

Couldn't call anybody since I haven't gotten all of my numbers transfered from the old phone to the new one.

Terrible first attempt by the OWFL Special Events Cooridnator. Sorry Folks. If you give me another chance, I guarentee improvement.

This is not today's post, just a message. So don't tell me what's for lunch.

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Lady A Amendment....

Ms. HT so gracioulsy covered me the other day so we'll give her a break on today's post and just use MikeySunshine's foul up post.

SO, did anyone else foul up last night?? I did fo' sho'. I drank a little too much last night, wound up getting a crap load of food from McD's (a Big Mac value meal/crispy chix value meal/10 piece nugget meal/and a double cheeseburger to be exact...for me AND mr. Uni..I swear!!) and started baking a cake at 10:30 at night...finally had to go to bed at 2am...and got sick at some point (coulda been the mcdonalds...just maybe...and the vodkas).

And of course people....WFL????!

Stickin' it to the man...

Welcome, fellow OWFLers, to my first official post! And so it begins. Please be gentle.

So, yesterday my boss and my boss's boss took me out to lunch. In part, it was because my boss's boss was worried about what I was going to say when they told me that my boss is going to be working from home three days a week until she has her child in three months; however, it was mostly because my boss's boss likes going out to lunch.

Now, I don't object to being taken out to lunch, although it's kind of beat when all of those lunches for OTHER people wind up cutting in to my profit-sharing check. That tends to be more of an issue when you wind up going somewhere nice. Like Morton's, The Steakhouse. Which we did. Yesterday.

As I sat there yesterday, it put me in to a minor moral quandary. I really wasn't all that hungry, but how often do I eat - lunch or otherwise - at Morton's, much less on someone else's dime, even less on the company's dime? Do I order the $27 Stacked New York Strip Steak (with blue cheese and tomatoes)? Or, do I settle in for a more reasonable $16 Warm Steak Salad?

When your boss is picking up your lunch check, do you go with reasonable? Or, do you go all the way?

Wait a minute. The fog I created last night is lifting here for a moment, and I seem to recall having that discussion here in the recent past. Damn it! I was all excited about this last night, and now I'm botching my maiden voyage!

So, how about this? In addition to my menu anxiety yesterday, I was having the type of day when I could have fucked up a beer at lunch (as opposed to fucking up about a dozen later in the day). So, in the same situation - work lunch with higher-ups - what signs do you read to order an adult beverage? Where's your green light? Where's your red light?

And, of course, WFL?

Crankypants

I tried to do a google image search for "crankypants" and all it turned up were hundreds of pictures of pissed off looking babies and toddlers. Idiots.

So then I did one for "angry lunch" and liked what I found better. And, I'd be happy to share them with you, if blogger wasn't such a motherfucking whore. So, you'll have to make do with my descriptions of the two images I chose for you.

Image #1 - an open faced bologna sandwich, looks to be on wheat, with angry faces drawn with mustard on the bologna (two faces, one on each piece of bread)

Image #2 - a drawing of a male unicorn in chaps and a star spangled banner t-shirt, flashing a peace sign, with a dialogue bubble that says, "Patriotism doesn't have to be bloodthirsty"

I have no idea what the latter has to do with anger or lunch, but it was funny.

So, you may have deduced that I'm pissy today. Not for any reason, I'm just tired and cranky and I don't feel like doing anything that doesn't involve sitting on my couch, watching tv and napping. Instead, I'm revising a proposal.

Special thanks to the E-que/Shorty family for dinner last night. Pierogies with bacon and sour cream is always a good time. Washed down with a glass or two of Boreskola (what we call Bull's Blood and Coke in Hungary) and I was a happy HT.

For lunch, I'm having two tomatoes - one yellow, one red - with a smidge of salt and balsamic. Blogger will be having my tiny, little fist up its incompetent asshole. What will YOU be having?

HAPPY TALK LIKE A PIRATE DAY!!! ARGGGGGGG!!

Sorry bout the late post guys, had to fight with some bitches this morning about a clothing donation I was trying to make...I lost.

So, its Talk Like a Pirate Day...I have a post-it eyepatch on in celebration and my index finger (when not typing) is hooked. So, what are we eating on this holiest of holidays?? What would a pirate eat?? I have an apple in honor of the late Captain Barbosa, but the rest is up in the air. I wish there was a turkey leg stand somewhere around here...

WFL MATIES?!?!?!

What special events are for lunch

When the Czarina asked me to be the Special Events coordinator in her administration, I was happy to accept. Mostly because I don't have a real or actual job, so the responsibility of coordinating things really gets me up and going in the morning... well it's more like it gets me up and gives me a reason to put on pants... which I still haven't done yet today.

As Special Event coordinator, I assume it is my role to get information and details posted for all to enjoy.

The first event of this administration should natrually be an innauguration and I propose that alcohol be involved. For discussion, I throw out the suggestion of a Happy Hour at some BB place in downtown Capital City as the site for this celebration. I personally like Buffalo Billiards, but I know there is always momentum towards Bravo Bravo. In your comments today, please address your thoughts on this special event. (I hate alcohol, I hate the new Czarina, I am tired of Bravo, Bravo, I'll be out of town, I don't have a job and therefore no income, I live in Houston and can't make it on such short notice, I'll be there at 3:00...Whatever the case may be)

And for discussion, I submit to you..."What does it take to make lunch a special event for you."

I am sure there are those among us who would say that lunch is by definition special, and that's fine, but the question stands. I know that back in middle school all it took to make lunch a special event was the inclusion of pizza. As we mature, like in college for example, what makes lunch a special event is when somebody else picks up the check. Nowadays, a simple lunch where the food is good, the company and conversation are interesting and there is no line for the Tilt-a-Whirl qualifies as a special event for me.

So as you tell us what is for lunch today, please also let us know what would make it less of a meal and more of a special event.

BORED

Entertain me, OWFL! I am so bored here! I should be doing things like writing thank you notes to people I don't know to thank them for their kindness in my "family's" time of sadness, or some other such bs. Or, starting to clean out my grandmother's house in a more constructive way than, "Throw all of this shit out!" Or visiting old family friends and laughing about our decades-long obsession with little people. (more on wee ones in just a sec) However, I am sitting on my dad's couch in my pjs, with Mr. Dirty Mitts peacefully wheezing beside me, watching the Food Network and football. It looks like a nice day outside, but I don't feel like being out among the yinzers, even if it's not Game Day in the Steel City.

Last night though, I had what might have been the highlight of my trip, when I met up with the always fun and lovely Watchdog family at Fatheads on the Souside. (that's "the South Side" a Pittsburgh neighborhood, on the - you got it - south side of the city, across the Mon (Monongahela River) from Dahntahn (Downtown).) Having eaten earlier with my dad, I picked at the parm wings and shrooms, and admired the gusto with which WD and the older of the WD kids eat sandwiches bigger than my head. Actually, WD only consumed about 1/3 of his Fuddwich, with the kids firmly outeating all of us. Anyhoo, I was proud of my fellow Pittsburghers' collective behavior in not giving the head-to-toe MSU clad WD family a hard time, though Pitt's loss at their hands likely played a role in keeping the Yinzers in check.

So, are there any other OWFLers out there today????? I'm dying for some entertainment. Yesterday afternoon I did some shopping to take advantage of the Macy's sale and PA's lack of sales tax on clothing. But today, it's me, the couch, the dirty cat, and the tv. BOOOORRRIIINNNGGGGG (but better than the alternatives). So, what's everyone eating today? I had some cold pizza when I woke up, but nothing since. I might have a beer. Inspire me, OWFL!