Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Spookylicious
Happy Halloween Lunchers!!
Trick or Treat, Smell My Feet!!
So growing up, I never got to dress up in costumes, go trick or treating or decorate our house with spiderwebs and jack-o-lanterns...usually it was a night at Chi-Chi's with bad tex-mex food ending with a sombrero on my head and a bunch of servers singing a god awful "mexican" version of happy birthday to me. Anyways, so I missed out on the bags and buckets of candy, sweets, treats and more candy. My mom was good at making sure we had a stash of candy around on a regular basis anyways, but she'd always keep out an extra big bowlful during halloween. So I was always able to pack a few treats in my lunchbag so I could participate in the standard "swap candy with your friends ritual" after the big night...but in some ways it just wasn't the same *sigh*.
I want to hear what halloween was like for you guys! What was your favorite costume? Did you buy them or did you make them? Favorite candy? Favorite tricks? Did you trade your Baby Ruths for 100 Grands during lunch? Let me live vicariously through your halloween experiences!
And of course, what kind of devilishly delicious lunch will you be having today????
Monday, October 30, 2006
Not So Fast, Make It Last
So, yesterday I had plans to meet up with some friends for a little Sunday lunch. (Well, I also had plans to go downtown to cheer on some other friends as they ran the Marine Corps Marathon, but the cheering plans were derailed a bit by the "Is it four AM already? Again?" night the night before. I hold Josephus responsible.) We decide to go to the falafel joint that I (wisely) decided not to visit eight hours earlier.
I walk over and stick my head inside to make sure they aren't there already. Since I have just enough coffee in my system to hold my hangover stomach's hand over the bridge from nausea to hunger, I briefly consider knocking down a falafel while I'm waiting for them to show and then doubling up once they arrive. I decide against it because, hey, we all have an upbringing to live with.
Just as I'm beginning to reconsider my lunching chivalry, the first of my three lunching companions arrive. We stick our heads back in to make sure the other half of our party didn't sneak by while I was down the block getting coffee. For the second time, I stand in line for a minute before going back outside.
After another ten minutes, the other two finally show up. We go in to stand in line in earnest at last. Lunching Companion #1's cell phone rings. She looks at it to realize that Lunching Companion #3 is calling her, only LC3 is standing next to her and is not on the phone. Upon answering, LC1 discovers that LC3 dropped her phone on the street on the way to lunch, where it was recovered by a well-meaning passerby who was taking pains to return it to its rightful owner.
"OH, GOD DAMN IT!" says I, as I yet again turn away from the line to go on a thirty-minute hike back to the car to meet the Giantess Samaratin. (Did we all need to go? No, but I don't get to see these people all that often.)
But, the difficulties and delays in acquiring a much-needed lunch got me to thinking in the course of that walk: is all of this nonsense going to make this lunch even better? I eventually got my falafel, and it was remarkably tasty. (That may, of course, be due to the fact that it was the first time I had ever gone there in daylight and sober.) I concluded for that particular experience that my lunch was heightened by the slow, at times maddening, ascent to the table, as it were.
So, my question to you, fellow OWFLers, is this: do you engage in any lunch foreplay? Do you ever stretch out your approach to lunch so you can savor the anticipation? Are there any times when you think you should? What's the best way to intensify your lunch experience by what you do (or don't do) beforehand?
And, of course, WFL?
PS - I had a couple of other gem illustrations, but Blogger is being a little bitch this morning. Or, I'm dumb. One or the other. Damn it.
Friday, October 27, 2006
What do they do?
Headin' off to Rochester today to see ol' Miso (I'm sure her busy ass sends her love) so I'm doing this the day before.
Today is a research day. It's Friday, you certainly don't feel like working so why not educate your lunching brothers and sisters with a bit of worldly lunching knowledge. Maybe this will inspire OWFL to reach other lands (beyond Russia and Mexico) or move an existing OWFLer to travel to Tuva for some fermented ox milk to wash down his bologna sammy.
For example, this is what i found out about a typical Polish Lunch:
A typical lunch is usually composed of at least three courses, starting with a soup, such as barszcz (beet) or żurek (sour rye meal mash), followed perhaps in a restaurant by an appetizer of salmon or herring (prepared in either cream, oil or vinegar). Other popular appetizers are various meats, vegetables or fish in aspic. The main course may be the national dish, bigos (sauerkraut with pieces of meat and sausage) or kotlet schabowy (breaded pork cutlet). Meals often finish with a dessert such as ice cream, makowiec (home-made poppy seed cake), or drożdżówka, a type of yeast cake. Other Polish specialities include chłodnik (a chilled beet or fruit soup for hot days), golonka (pork knuckles cooked with vegetables), kołduny (meat dumplings), zrazy (slices of beef), salceson and flaczki (tripe). Many dishes contain quark.
So take some time, do a little research, pull from your ethnic brains, make something up...just make our lunch knowledge the best in the world. OWFL should our prowess as lunch aficionados. If it's a regional American tradition, throw that in there too.
I hope you all have a wonderful lunch and PeeP will see you on Tuesday.
Much love.
Oh, and WFL????
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Suck it, Trebek
“Lisa Stewart, says here you’re a soup fanatic. Tell us about that.”
“That’s right, Alex. I love soup. My friends always laugh about how much soup I eat.”
Idiot.
I heard this exchange on Jeopardy the other day during that very special portion of the show where Alex gets to know the contestants better, based on some fact they share with the producers about themselves. Most of the time, it makes me want to stab the contestants, and I imagine the bloodbath after I’ve slaughtered Trebeck and then wait to hear about how Earl has a garden and he grows TOMATOES, and Susan went to a mall once, and Steve – wild and crazy Steve – he’s the Jenga champion among his friends and family.
So, let’s pretend we’re on Lunch Jeopardy. That time when you have to share a little something about yourself with the Alex and the viewing audience. What’s your lunch factoid? Tell us something we may not know about you and lunching (or, you in general).
“So, OWFL, it says here that you really like lunch.” “Yes, Alex, that is correct.” “Tell me more about this ‘lunch’ of which you speak.” “Shut the fuck up you bitch ass, and tell me WHAT’S FOR LUNCH MOTHERFUCKER???!!!”
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
futuristic foods
our office just had a fire drill, my apologies for posting a tad late. i hate it when they do it so early in the AM b/c i'm hardly awake and the blaring bells just really piss me off.
but it got me thinking about what to post today. and i thought, what would be a good topic? and i thought, hmm...let's do futuristic foods.
so, in the year 3020, what kinds of forms do you think foods will come in? in pill form just like on the jetson's? or maybe like those dippin dots? (meh, they freak me out, man) also what do you believe would be your favorite futuristic lunch? make it up and be creative.
and don't forget to tell us WFL this fine balmy wednesday.
PS - GOOD LUCK HT ON YOUR SECOND INTERVIEW TODAY!
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Guerilla Bologna
I wanted to put up a list of the ingrediants that are in the standard issue Oscar Mayer balogna, but that has proven hard to come by on the internet befroe catching my bus to work. Heaps of lists of what is in fresh, or the make it at home version of this food product, but nothing that explains how that pinkish substance gets its Zing.
WIth the failure to acquire the information I needed for today's post, I am going to turn you loose in a project lunch meyhem assignment.
For your lunch break today, I want you to pay attention to what is going on around you and report it back to the OWFL. This assignment will ahve you eavesdropping on those enjoying lunch around you.
Listen in on a conversation and report back to us:
1) the main topic of discussion
2) the viewpoints of the people involved
3) what they were eating
4) any good quotes
5) your thoughts about the people and conversation.
Hopefully with so many OWFL agents out there monitoring lunch conversations, we'll run in to a group of people talking about what goes in to a good bologna.
After letting us know what's going on with other folk, tell us what you're having for lunch.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Lunch with our Guests
And, we wouldn't be having any kind of meals, if it weren't for the fact that God, our Lord, Benevelent Jehovah, created the world on this day, six thousand, ten years ago today. Happy Birthday, Earth!
Friday, October 20, 2006
How would you like your swine?
Yes you.
I don't care what you look like, who you screw, what idiot you vote for, how you decide to worship, or even if you choose not to worship anything at all.
THE CZAR LOVES YOU.
Ok, maybe love is a strong term, let's just say I'm with ya. I get it. It's cool. Free to be you and me and all that. You and me are copacetic.
So forgive me if today's topic offends you.
Pork.
I love the stuff.
You can try and tell me that it "roots in and eats it's own shit" I promise you it won't sway me.
Share some some old rules that mattered back before refrigeration and I still won't be convinced.
Trichinosis?
Bah humbug.
Pork is great.
Wonderful.
Amazing.
Delicious.
Man's best friend even.
Just take a gander at a few of the magical things you can do with it...
Ribs...
Sausages...
Pulled...
Center cut chop...
Scrapple...
Roast on a spit...
Ham & Cheese...
Double Cooked...
And His majesty Bacon...
And yes I know it starts out looking like this:
But it is even cuter in our bellies.
So today we reflect on the noble Pig.
If you don't eat it, as I said before, I respect you, love you even, and invite you to share with us your reason for depriving yourself of it's deliciousness.
Do you ever cheat?
If so, when?
And how would you eat it if you could?
As for the rest you happy pig eating fools, How do you like your swine?
While you're at it maybe share some of the more novel ways you have eaten "the other white meat" in the past.
And, of course, all of you better tell us, WFL?
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
Dining Like a Native
I know what I'm having, but for the rest of you: WFL?
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Daredevil Olympic Lunch
Happy Birthday to:
Robert Craig Knievel
AKA Evel Knievel, Daredevil and one-time action figure
Born: October 17th, 1938. Robert Craig Knievel turns a very young 68 today. And under President Decider’s new plan, is now able to start collecting social security. So unless ol’ Evel invested well, looks like its Alpo, figs, and rock candy from here on out.
But back in the day the professional stuntman ate meals filled with risk and danger.
Breakfast at Evel’s was a thick-cut bacon steak with deep-fried eggs and scrapple on a hot-buttered croissant. The danger!! The excitement!!
An afternoon snack at the Knievel residence was known to be pop rocks and coke. Shit dawg, your head a-splode!!
For dinner, puffer-fish and taco bell. No Evel!!! Don’t do it!!!
But for lunch, no one knows what Evel ate that surely made his friends and family exclaim, “Oh I can’t watch!!”
Share with us what you think an appropriate lunch would be for a professional daredevil. What would you eat if you’re feeling dangerous and want to shock and awe your fans?
If OWFL ever had an Olympics, or some sort of food eating competition, what kind of feats of daring should we include? And I’m not talking about Fear Factor bullshit eating of pigs’ uteruseses. I mean real food, but nonetheless daring in some way or another.
(For example, I’m thinking Lady A could concoct some sort of cake that could deliver 5000 calories per slice. )
And of course, what’s for lunch for the little dare devils of the world? Oh, and I better not here anything about Ben Affleck’s “Daredevil”, i'm blogging in your direction Jo!
Monday, October 16, 2006
Fish Tank, Drunk Tank, Think Tank
When I was a little kid, I used to dream of diving into my fishtank and living out my days swimming around, happily diving and playing in the water. Even now, when I’m at an aquarium or zoo, I have an almost uncontrollable desire to dive into the artificial aqueous environments and swim around with whatever makes its home there. I even think it would be fun to make my diet off of the raw fish that would be flung at me by my keepers. (Kept woman fantasy and all) I’d also like to learn to break oysters and clams over a rock I held on my belly a la the sea otter, but that seems like some pretty advanced sea livin’ skills.
It was christmas eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, wont see another one
And then he sang a song
The rare old mountain dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you
(Sorry, Jo)
I’ve never spent Christmas eve in the drunk tank, but not so for Christmas day. You’ve all heard the story by now. But you mightn’t have heard about the Christmas spent in
When you leave the greater DC area and tell people you work at a think tank, it’s fun to watch the expressions on their faces as they try to form a mental picture of what that is. Occasionally someone will make a joke indicating that they understand, sort of, conceptually, kind of, but usually people stare blankly and/or ask what it is that people do there and why. Over the last several years, I’ve spent a lot of time in and around think tanks. When I think of think tanks, I think of eccentric, gruff, middle-aged men dozing off in their office “Dogs Playing Poker” Laz-y Boys, listening to the Blind Boys of Alabama on their Bose Waves. I also think of the east end of
So, what’s the point? I’m not sure. I have an interview today at yet another think tank, but didn’t want to do “interview food” as it’s been done, and I won’t be having any. (though, word on the street is this joint has a great dining room and free muffins and cookies) I think that “lunches one might consume in various tanks” is a little limiting, but if you can work with that, go for it. I was hoping that in typing this, I’d get to a point, and, I think maybe I’ve arrived at one. Brain food. What do you eat when you’re hard at work on a challenging, thought-intensive project? What do you eat when you need to appear smart to the folks your dining with? (I stay away from things that I’m not 100% sure of how to pronounce) What foods help get your creativity and intellect churning?
And, of course, what are you eating today? (smart or dumb) WFL?
Friday, October 13, 2006
happy world egg day!!!!!!!
aptly titled: last of the moh-egg-cans (this guy is such a rock star)
1) how do you like them prepared? (scrabbled, sunny-side, over-sleazy)
2) what's your favorite place to get your eggs? (your hometown diner, ihop, your mom's house, etc.)
3) what is your fondest egg-related memory?
4) impress us with your own cooking talents. tell us how you use eggs in the kitchen and the best dish that you feel features them prominently.
5) finish this phrase: eggs are to chickens as...
6) how many eggs does it take to fit into the trunk of a car? think about it.
7) egg-splain me this: why does the U.S. bleach their eggs white and not leave them their natural brown?
8) during that o' so strange egg binge sometime in january, guess how many eggs HaterTot ate in 1 week?
9) what came first: the chicken or the egg?
10) WFL??? (and it better have eggs in it)
*if you do not like eggs, then you are a loser. if you are allergic to eggs, then i pity you b/c your genetics have forced you into not liking eggs. nevertheless, you should just answer the survey anyway pretending that you like eggs OR substituting the word "eggs" with some kind of food item you do like...though you are a loser, i don't necessarily want you to feel left out.
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Lunch Is Important
(It just started snowing here in chi-digs.)
Tonight I have the other half of melon and the rest of the proscuitto, so it will be pretty much a repeat of last night, except throw in the Office and the Battle Star Galactica miniseries.
So, yeah, lunch is really the only formal meal I have each day. So it’s pretty fucking important. And today, I’m thinking burrito.
WFL?
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Guilty Pleasures, Dirty Secrets
I have a confession to make.
I have a short list of guilty pleasures: things I do or things I like that I am too embarassed to admit in casual conversation. In fact, like that cockcrow-hearing Saint Peter, I have been known to explicitly deride in public some things that I deeply enjoy in private. (Incidentally, I think that may be proof that I'm the right stuff for Congress. Or, at least the clergy. Quite possibly both.)
I've recognized many of those proclivities for a good long time now. Here's a partial list of the well-established ones:
1 - Road trip meals of beef jerky, orange Hostess cupcakes, and strawberry soda.
2 - Watching Lifetime movies.
3 - Squeezing blackheads.
4 - Staying in bed until 5PM.
5 - The musical stylings of Hilary Duff.
Yesterday at lunch time, I drove about four miles down the road (which is no insignificant undertaking in suburban northern Virginia) to run an errand for a friend of mine. For those of you keeping score at home, THAT is what disrupted my plans to go that little-loaf-of-bread sandwich place across the street yet again. I figured I would just pick something up along the way.
And, pick something up along the way I did. In the course of doing so, I recognized (and immediately knew I had to conceal) yet another - but new to me this time - guilty pleasure: fast food fish.
That's right. I went to Long John Silver's yesterday, and I ordered the Variety Combo #4. It came with two fish filets, three chicken planks, fries, cole slaw, and - GET THIS! - a sampler pack of their new "Veggie Bites" which, of course, means two fried jalapeno poppers and two fried broccoli-and-cheese nuggets.
I haven't seen such a large and varied collection of the recently fried since Bonnaroo, and this was twice as tasty. In fact, the whole experience was divine. Well, at least up until the catastrophic evacuation of my lower GI tract about forty-five minutes later.
So, here's my question for you: what are your guilty pleasures? What do you find yourself craving and indulging that you don't want to admit in polite company?
And, of course, WFL?
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
Let it out!!! (posting for Miso)
Mother fucker...GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FOOD!!!
So I have this massive man in my office that HAS to fucking hover over my goddamn food and comment about everything. Really he's just waiting for me to offer him one little morsel of my pathetic home packed lunch.
I truly hate when people ask me what i'm eating. There is a fucking reason that I'm eating in my office and in the dark. Stay the fuck away!! Don't ask shit man!
I know we've had posts before about pet peeves but there are a lot of newcomers lately that haven't had the floor to vent and hey, i'm sure we've developed new reasons to hate the folks around us in the past few months. So let it all out and while the venom spews and the food flies, tell us WFL BITCHES????!!!????
PS...if you have anything else you want to bitch about...LET IT OUT YO!!
Monday, October 09, 2006
Mining for Lunch
So it's Columbus Day and probably 3 of us are actually at work and half the restaurants around here are closed. Today is also (coincidence?? I think not) Moldy Cheese Day (who uncovered that hidden gem?). So, for all y'all who aren't working today, clean out your fridge - find that hunk of brie stuck in the back, or pull out that bag of Kraft mozzarella that you forgot about. Pick out the green parts and enjoy a cheese sandwich! So in that vein, what are your other favorite foods to pull out, cut the bad part off of & eat away? Me, I like crustless bread (the crusts had mold, of course!) with de-molded cheddar. Mmmmm . . . . unmoldy. So, hopefully that answers this question, but I'll ask it anyway . . . What's For Lunch??
Friday, October 06, 2006
Critter eats
I wish I could capture the right tone of insanity and rediculousness that must go on in the mind of a simple housecat, but I don't think you can put that kind animal intelligence into words. and by animal intelligence, of course, I mean stupidity.
I am cat sitting this weekend for my sister and Professor Nicholas Von Whiskers, and Gus Jackson the First. Dumb names, dumb animals. Cute, but dumb.
So I got to thinking, how would I lunch if I was an animal. More specifically, how would I eat if I were a house pet animal with no wild instincts. I'd probably go the route of working the cute factor to get the humans to fill my bowl with hog anus and horsemeat, or whatever they put in the awful smelling cat food. In addition to working the cute, I'd learn where the food is stored and how to get to it because I can't be fed on somebody else's schedule. I's hungry now.
SO if you were an animal, how would you go about getting your lunch? How did you go about getting your lunch today? Whatcha eatin' on this dreary Friday?
Thursday, October 05, 2006
Macaroni & Cheesy
This past Saturday I joined some of the GLOOWFL for a dinner of comfort food at HT's apt.
Delicious piping hot French Onion Soup and even more delicious Mac & Cheese which was cooked up with some bacon ("and bacon makes everything better").
Today I feel like the OWFL is in need of some good old comfort food so share with us some of your all time favorite food pick me ups...now before you start chanting "Hey Czar, we've done comfort foods before!" Today I'm asking you to add a twist to it. Tell us about those foods that comfort you, remind you of a safe and loving place, and also tell us about a couple songs that put you in the same mood. Some old cheesy songs that remind you of simpler times and immediately bring a smile to your face and warmth to your belly..
Just to show what a good sport I am I'll start by admitting to one of my comfort songs; Whenever I hear "Just When I Needed You Most" by Randy Vanwarmer I am instantly transported to my childhood in the 70's and can see and hear my Mom playing records and singing to me. Instant comfort.
What songs and foods put you in your special comfort place?
Tell us about them and don't forget to tell us WFL?
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
Total Lunch Screw ups
Lactose intolerant? You know you shouldn't eat that creamy cheesy dish .. but you did anyway.
Drinking a soda and everyone is in a good mood that day? You shouldn't have started drinking when the other person was telling that joke. Ouch, it burns like battery acid in your nose.
Shouldn't have ordered that damn red sauce dish with your new white shirt .. you know you have big tits. You knew a drop or two were bound to be caught.
We all do it, I have been taken to lunch by the boss and got a beer .... when the boss was a titotaller. Good thing I didn't spend that long in that job. I hated it.
So even though everthing has a purpose and everything has it place. Don'tcha wish sometimes it wasn't you spewing coke out of your nose in front of the cute girl/guy and the table?
Its a good day to laugh at yourself and tell us WFL? ... and uh WCOOYN?
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
Lost Lunch
I would miss bread tremendously. The smell of bread baking has to be one of the greatest things in the world. And meat, especially beef, would be one of my main cravings I am certain, and no amount of wild boar would replace a New York Strip or a big old bacon cheeseburger. Oh yes, Cheese. Glorious cheese. I would be missing cheese big time and all forms of dairy. And of course candy. And donuts. Coca Cola classic. Coffee. I could go on and on, but I want to hear what you would miss if you were trapped on an island with the others and some mysterious magnetic station.
And you know, WFL?
Monday, October 02, 2006
Covering for Peep, That Slack-Ass Whorebag
I like to make these bitches as timely and topical as possible. As such, today I’m wondering, “What will Mark Foley be eating in rehab?” “What are the Supreme Court Justices having today, on their first day back?” “What does the possible NYC trans-fat ban mean to our lunching brethren in the Big Apple?” “What are my 4-0 Baltimore Ravens having for lunch today?” “What did Anna Nicole and her lawyer/baby-daddy/rumored-new husband eat at their wedding?”
Today is October 2 and it’s yet another perfect fall day here in our nation’s capital. If I could walk, I would go take an afternoon constitutional. Instead I’m actually going to work on my resume and get this whole “job search” business underway. For lunch, I’m not quite sure. I woke up sort of late this morning, so I’m not really hungry. I kind of want pancakes though, and I think there are a couple of rotting bananas left in that fucking fruit basket.
I’d also like to give special love and thanks to Lady A, and er, Lord A for taking me to the hospital on Friday night. People – if you ever have to go to the ER, bring Lady A. (do not however call Jo to bring you burgers from Five Guys, as he will not, and will in fact try to talk you out of even wanting them) But Lady A came equipped with snacks and travel Scrabble. She rocks.
So, what do you think folks in the news are having for lunch today? What are you having for lunch today? Might any of you be lunching with folks in the news?