“More testicles mean more iron…”
From elementary school to college, chances are you’ve spent a good amount of time inside of a cafeteria. Normally, cafeterias are known for bad food served up in volume, Volume, VOLUME!!!! But of course there are exceptions (I hear the World Bank cafeteria is stellar), and sometimes even a bad cafeteria will throw a curve ball of something yummy. (I’m talking to you grilled cheese and tomato soup!)
The term cafeteria is Spanish, and it roughly means “coffee shop.” The cafeteria as we know it in the United States derived from food service traditions brought to California by Mexicans.
And while you probably don't associate cafeteria with "coffe shop", I’m betting you all have strong emotions, memories, and opinions regarding cafeterias and the fare they serve.
As for moi, I worked in a cafeteria in college, washing dishes. By the end of my shift I would be hot, sweaty, and covered in my fellow students half-eaten Wisconsin Cheesy Chicken and Beef Stroganoff (what do you call a cow masturbating?). I was electrocuted twice on the job, routinely abused by my crew chief, and regularly burned my hands on plates coming out of the Hobart Dishmaster 3000. Yet it was the best job I ever had...
Even today, I regularly eat in the cafeteria in my building, and I gotta say the food ain’t half bad (it’s ALL bad, bada-boom!).
In any event, share your best/worst cafeteria stories. In 6th grade I participated in a food fight, and the event remains one of my greatest memories.
Other points to ponder:
What was your favorite caf food back in the day?
Where can one find a good caf in your local town?
And of course, WFL? The caf perhaps?
39 comments:
Fuck, man, I had to hit 'post your comments' like 5 times before I got to this page. Which means, probably nobody will be around to read this. How sad. But, hey, good post, WD!
When we went to visit my grandparents, they would usually take us to Luby's at least once while we were down there - for those who don't know, Luby's is a cafeteria that seemed to be entirely populated by elderly folk with a few grandkids thrown in. At least, that's how I remember the one in McAllen TX to be. I would love it, b/c you could have anything you wanted, plus dessert (Jello! With Kool-Whip! Amazing!) Plus I was with my grandparents, so that boosts the happy-memory quotient.
I broke a tooth in half on a cafeteria french fry once - it was one of those really crunchy ones that probably went through the frier 3 or 4 times before making it's way to your plate. And it was a loose molar, so it wasn't as traumatic as it could have been. But half came out immediately, & the rest of the afternoon I freaked out the kids in my class by showing them my half a molar in my mouth. Ha ha! Needless to say, I paid no attention in class b/c I was busy tonguing the half-tooth & the new half-hole.
FL is the same thing as yesterday -salad with sprouts & ham & chipotle ranch & a pita & hummus for 2nd lunch. Snoooooore.
Oooh! I may have tomatoes for my salad! Someone just emailed that they brought some home-grown ones in! How exciting!
Since its raining today, i'll probably hit the cafeteria today.
We'll see what evil lurks in the hearts of lunch ladies...
cafeteria at the world bank is off the chain! when i worked there, i'd play this game where i'd see how cheap i could get my lunch to be. i'd go over to each world food station and choose the cheapest item that i knew would be tasty and fill me up. an eggroll from the asian food area, some ratatouille from the US station, a curry saucy thing on white rice from the african foods station. delicious! i could get an international lunch as low as $5!
my favorite food days at the caf when i was in elementary school was pizza day, spaghetti day, and happy birthday lunch day with fried chicken and a slice of birthday cake.
i went through a taquito phase in junior high once where i'd have them everyday in this strange green "guac" like sauce.
as for any specific memories, i don't really have one other than the fact that in junior high, our cafeteria doubled as an auditorium where we'd have school dances. so, i remember being forced to slow dance with this boy spencer to "stairway to heaven" in the middle of where i'd just several hours before had a sack lunch. it was so amazingly awkward and painfully long.
Did you work at Brody, Watchdog?
There’s a great cafeteria in Hyde Park called Valois “See Your Food.” I don’t know, I can’t really expand on that. I’m hungover. And no, Peep, I don’t remember talking to you last night.
We had these things in high school that were called ranch patties. They were like some sort of Salisbury steakish breaded meat thing served on instant mashed potatoes and covered in thick brown liquid, I think they call it gravy. I loved ranch patties.
I also worked in a cafeteria in college, albeit briefly. I caught dishes off the Hobart, and yeah, those suckers were HOT. I did actually like it, but I got a job offer shortly thereafter to run the register at Tower Records, and who could pass that up?
I don't know wfl. I got a prescription for a bacon egg and cheese buscuit filled on the way in today, and it's messed me up. I'm not really hungry. I think I want soup. Someone said matza ball soup yesterday, and that's stuck in my head. Think I'll go to Ada's.
Yes, I snuck into Brody a couple times. Impressive facility. Didn't Dumpy and Idaho Clambake work there, too.
I remember that I IM'ed you and LaMA...cake briefly when I got home. I do not remember any details of the conversations. I apparently also opened a beer -- a 16 oz Old Style, nonetheless -- and drank nary a drop.
Jada, I worked in the Case cafeteria.
Though did ya know that Brody cafeteria is the biggest non-military cafeteria in the world?
I know a guy who was a cook there, and he said on hamburger day he would have over 200 burgers frying at once, and that flipping them was a feat of strength, grace, and stamina...
Everybody knows that, Watchdog. It's Sparty's big claim to fame.
Old?!?
Your IM said "away." I was respecting your privacy. And your phone's ringing in 3...2...1...
I can't wait for the conference!
One time at bandcamp...
Actually I have a few great memories of cafeterias. I was a boy scout (insert snicker here), and Eagle Scout in fact which my girlfriend loves to bring up at parties (especially when I have one or two other party goers looking at me with drunken, beer-goggled, moony eyes.
On to our story, I worked at a camp for about 4 summers in a row. At two of the summers (yes ... every other year) we had international encampment. What most people don't know is that America is one of the only countries prude enough to separate the girl scouts from the boy scouts. That meant that every other summer 100's of girls descended on the camp, away from Mommy and Daddy (some for the first time), nubile at 15-18 years of age (I later came to find that girls under that age were not allowed to travel). So, I was 14 one year and 16 the next time.
So I had fallen into the Wet-Dream-worm-hole that most guys look for all their life.
So, getting back to the dinning hall. At the time of both years I was a life-guard and water skiiing instructor. The dinning hall is where I had my campers meet me. So it got bad enough during these times that I started having our dining hall steward\Caf head bring out snacks for people waiting to ski and or learn how to life-guard. Lets just say that the second-most active activities had only 1/50 of my participation.
Its good to be the king.
Dennis, the dining hall or cafeteria steward, and I would sit and talk the the girls for hours at a time. I would put everyone in the ski boat and teath bikini-ed girls how to ski all day.
ahhhh....
Now I'm an old fat geek. Times change but cafeterias probably still see people of the same age doing the same things over and over again.
I went to go check about International Encampment recently .. to see if they still did it ... sadly ... with the travel restrictions imposed by our nation ... the Worm-hole has closed ... possibly forever.
:(
Yes Peep. I attended Le JMC. The Ivy League of Michigan State. We always thought of you Brody kids as unsophisticated clods who weren't worthy of holding our tweed jackets with the leather elbow patches while we drained a beer bong.
Holy shit, Diz. I was just sitting here thinking that I had nothing of substance to contribute to a discussion about cafeteria experiences, especially since I've already touched on my experiences with the cafeteria at the National Museum of American History. Then, you reminded me of the summer I worked in the dining hall at Scout camp. Apparently, I had successfully repressed that until this moment.
I was 14 years old, working roughly 18 hours a day, and I made twenty dollars a week. They even had the gall to withhold from my twenty dollars a week, so I actually took home $18.48.
Two things from that miserable experience that I carry with me to this day: 1 - Invocation of my gag reflex whenever I catch a whiff of one of those grease traps that sits behind any foodservice facility, and 2 - a love for sushi, to which I was introduced on my one night a week off while hanging out with the waterfront director. Needless to say, I didn't save any money that summer.
FL today is leftover drunken noodle from last night's farewell dinner for a dear work friend. My stomach just jumped at typing that.
getting it in the bum at work.
thus will be brief and witless.
I worked in the cafeteria at college for a semester or two.
in the top three worst jobs ever.
i really loved cafeteria chicken fingers because no matter if it was Slappy the cross-eyed midget fry cook or Harry the rather aptly named gorilla like man, the previously mentioned chicken fingers were quite consistently cooked.
We have a cafeteria on the first floor of my office building and i have bitched before about them and expect to again.
They salt the already saline soaked ham and apparently are without any other spice.
Philistines...
any time earthquake. ... this subject is awesome. ... I could go on forever about food fights ... gang fights ... regular one-on-one fights ... girls .. stupid people ... girls... etc.
My favorite/most hated thing about the cafeteria at college was how on the "parent visit day" or whatever the hell they called it, the quality went through the roof. They actually had crab legs when the parents came!
I remember me and my roomate (our parents did not come of course) sat in the cafeteria and went through about 100 crab legs each. We were in there for the whole dinner time, like 4-8pm. Digest for a while, then back for some more crab legs. I wonder why I put on 50 lbs. that first year?
When I was in elementary school back in Dallas, the only thing I really remember about the cafeteria is that one wall was nearly completely covered in a this huge caterpillar mural. That's the wall we would line up against before we headed back to the classroom after lunch. One day, we were lined up against that wall, and I ran in to the kid in front of me. We were engaging in what you would likely call "horseplay." As is usually the case with my sense of timing, I ran in to the kid at the precise moment my teacher walked by.
She kept a jar on her desk. Every day when there were no discipline issues, she would put a button in the jar. When there were 30 buttons in the jar, we would get a pizza party. I clearly remember the end of that day when she announced that we didn't get a button because of me.
watchdog, you're unearthing some minorly traumatic memories today. I may need to start drinking earlier than usual.
I was the guest who got snuk into Case cafe several times. It was fun.
I was just on the road all summer spending heaps of time eating in a cafeteria 3 times a day. I gott atell you, that is way healthier than how I normally eat.
The cafe in DeKalb, IL was wonderful It had all these great stations, of which the best was the Stir Fry DJ station. Dude would ask what you want in your jam, then he'd throw, catch, spin, stir, scratch, flip, flavor and serve it. That is pretty cool like at Bene Hana, but he was doing 6 at a time. He was skilled and therefore gets the Sunshine award for Best Cafeteria Worker 2006.
Sorry Helga, maybe next year will be your year
Did anyone else have one of those guys in high school who, at lunch, would eat any completely disgusting combination of food that you could mix together? You know, like, ranch patty and spaghetti chocolate milk shakes with green beens (that's tame). Peep and I had one. Didn't even require compensation, or much encouragement, really...
I was that guy Dipso!!
...FYI- apparently the Czar is drinking all day today...should we start talking shit about him yet??!! Hahahaha....
I was never that guy. I always admired the attention he got, but never got up the gumption to dig in on a Ketchup waffle with Croutons, Ice cream and Italian Dressig. I always felt small in their presence.
I did however always manage to recruit somebody to be that guy, and I made some good concotions.
I worked with kids all summer and those weaklings have no follow through. There were plenty of concoctions brewed, but nary a one was flavor sampled. The next generation is lost.
Peep, per our conversation, it's extremely important that you keep me away from the czar today. Do you understand? Okay, I just got hungry for h&s soup and eggrolls.
Oh no...that's the first step to feeling better.
diz, i'm remembering the story of how you met ro-esq when you were a swimmer...long haired and gleaming from the chlorinated water, doing some sort of puffing of the chest and graceful diving into the pool to impress her. that shit is so funny b/c i'm now visualizing that and all these giggly girls at scout camp. hahahah!
i'm slightly afraid of the conference this weekend...who do you think will put on the most weight???
There was a conveyor belt thing with rollers in our cafeteria where you would slide your tray into the dish washing area.
We paid a guy to slide down the rollers on trays and then give the guy on the other side a hug.
I think we pooled about $18 for that stunt, and it was worth every penny.
Later when I was the guy on the other side, I realized that that must have been kinda scary.
The dude who did it had to make an apology in the dorm newsletter and explain why we should "respect the cafeteria and its workers."
omg, watchdog...LOL literally at my desk.
Okay, someone here outted me to the czar for wanting to avoid him. I just got a testy phone call. Apparently he "needs" me tonight. So nice to be needed.
am i going to get a chance to try a chicago style hot dog (like the one in dipso's avatar) during the conference? me want!
SK, isn't that what Hot Doug's is for?
My lunch was ok - the tomatoes helped. I just realized that instead of my pita-hummus 2nd lunch, I'm going to get ice cream! Wooo. Office ice cream social. Wooo. How very 50s. I hope they got good ice cream at least - or I'll have to go back to the pita-hummus. Which actually sounds really good now, b/c I'm starving.
Ew, just thought of a gross story. My HS was really small, so we didn't have our own cafeteria, so we were allowed to leave campus. There was the 'Ranch Keller' that we would usually go to, b/c it was close & it was cheap & it was usually pretty quick. So this little old Philipino guy worked (side story: he pronounced 'v' as 'w', so we'd always be so psyched when our ticket number was 77 - sewenty sewen - hee hee! HS kids are such assholes.) and he had this one really long hair coming out of his neck. Just one. He was another amazing hairless asian. But seriously, this one hair was like 6 inches long. And then one day . . . it was gone. Just . . . gone. GAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I actually just gagged a little thinking about that.
Ew, LT. 6" neck hairs are NOT for lunch.
Hot Doug's does have a chicago-style hot dog on the menu, which I tried when Jo and I went there, but I wasn't impressed. I'd stick to their more gimmickee encased meats, like veal or alligator or whatnot.
Jada will undoubtably push for a trip to the Weiner Circle at some point. They're definitely very good, though I think there are many many other purveyors who put out a comparable product. That being said, take that trip, SpamKitty, and you will find what your heart desires.
hey peep,
Dipso - Text Jo back and ask him "Why are you being so teste?"...he L-O-V-E-S that!
late late late lunch.
Chicken Bean Quesadilla from Mo's.
It was excellent
Okay, Lady. Done.
immediate response
He appears to be puzzled.
hardeeharhar.
Half a hotdog for lunch, (stolen by bees).
3 spare ribs, two fried chicken legs, one spoon of stemed mixed veggies, one spoon of mastacholli, one spoon of pasta salad, one spoon of tossed salad, and one spoon of three bean salad for second lunch.
nap time.
Hola.
Some things...
1) I love cafeterias, in concept. Now that they are no longer the only place I have to procure food, they are even more appealing. Yay cafeterias! Though, I've not eaten in one in years.
2) Hot Dougs! Just checked the website and Doug isn't closing until Monday, so we're on for Saturday.
3) The Czar is drinking today. There was a bee in his beer. Dipso - please do not allow him to get too hammered tonight, as the conference has not yet begun.
4) Work is hell. I'm so busy. Argh.
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