Wednesday, December 20, 2006

I'll Devour Any MC As If He Were a Snack !!

EAT SOME BEANS AND VERY SOON
EVERYBODY IN THE PLACE WOULD LEAVE THE ROOM
AND FOR SOME REASON I CAN'T REVEAL
SO PASS ME A BANANA SO I CAN PEAL!
SLIDE TO THE KITCHEN
STUFF MY FACE
LEAVIN NOT ONE CRUMB IN THE PLACE

CUZ I CAN BUST WITH RAPS
BACK TO BACK
AND I'LL DEVOUR ANY MC AS IF HE WERE A SNACK
I'LL EAT AND EAT AND DRINK AND DRINK
AND I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING MY BREATH DON'T STINK


CUZ I BEAT SO FUNKY
LIKE A BIG FAT MONKEY
AND IT TASTES SO GOOD LIKE AN ALMOND JOY
CUZ I'M BIG AND BAD
MEAN AND BOLD
CUZ MY NAME IS MARKIE DEE
AND I'M A FAT BOY!!

THE FAT BOYS ARE BACK
AND YOU KNOW THEY CAN NEVER BE WHACK!



Man i really loved the Fat Boys back in '86. It's sad to say that this was probably my introduction to hip hop and well, beat boxing. It wasn't, however, my introduction to eating. It was just a good excuse to sit down to Disorderlies and plow through a large pizza and a cheeseburger.

There is something about music themed around food. It's never very serious. Why is that? Can't I shed a tear for that perfect steak AND heartbreak?

So i ask you today to come up with some of your favorite songs about the eats and give us some of their tantalizing lyrics to wash our daily sammy down with.

And while you're at it, WFL???

24 comments:

Unknown said...

i have to say that i like wierd al's "im fat". i thought it was hilarious when it came out. but then again, i was young then and thought a lot of things were funny.

work is killing me people! fyi - you won't be seeing me much on the blog due to changes in la choi's work load...oh, but i will miss chatting about my lunches everyday! i'll try to make occasional appearances and HHs, but i just thought i'd inform you all directly instead of you hearing it from the grapevine.

besides, my posts usually sucked anyway.

Anonymous said...

It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees
Decorate the house with lights at night
Snow's on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log
Beneath the mistle toe as we drink egg nog
The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's
But each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carrols

HaterTot said...

Well, I'll go ahead and take the two quasi-serious food-ish ones, especially since they're straight up chick music.

Courtesy of Ms. Sarah McLachlan:

Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I’ve tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here know how to fight

And it’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that I’ve tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to cry

It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from...

And, on the country tip, from Deana Carter (I like this b/c it makes me think of Boone's Farm, which isn't technically "food" but whatever)

He was working through college on my grandpa's farm
I was thirsting for for knowledge and he had a car
I was caught somewhere between a woman and a child
When one restless summer we found love growing wild
On the banks of the river on a well beaten path
Funny how those memories they last

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

I still remember when thirty was old
My biggest fear was September when he had to go
A few cards and letters and one long distance call
We drifted away like the leaves in the fall
But year after year I come back to this place
Just to remember the taste

Of strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

The fields have grown over now
Years since they've seen a plow
There's nothing time hasn't touched
Is it really him or the loss of my innocence
I've been missing so much

Like strawberry wine and seventeen
The hot July moon saw everything
My first taste of love oh bittersweet
Green on the vine
Like strawberry wine

Less serious, but the third song that popped into my head:

On top of spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
I lost my poor meatball,
When somebody sneezed.

It rolled off the table,
And on to the floor,
And then my poor meatball,
Rolled out of the door.

It rolled in the garden,
And under a bush,
And then my poor meatball,
Was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty
As tasty could be,
And then the next summer,
It grew into a tree.

The tree was all covered,
All covered with moss,
And on it grew meatballs,
And tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti,
All covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball,
Whenever you sneeze.

And lastly, back to sort of serious, a song referencing my favorite breakfast food:

Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

But baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you
this song It's meant to keep you
From doin' what you're supposed to
Like wakin' up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now

And we could pretend it all the time
Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

But just maybe, like an ukulele
Mama made a baby
I really don't mind to practice
Because you're my little lady
Lady, lady love me
Because I love to lay here lazy
We could close the curtains
Pretend like there's no world outside
And we could pretend that all the time

Can't you see that it's just raining
There ain't no need to go outside

Ain't no need, ain't no need
Can't you see, can't you see

Rain all day and I don't mind

The telephone singing, ringing, it's too early
Don't pick it up
We don't need to
We got everything we need right here
And everything we need is enough
It's just so easy
When the whole world fits inside of your arms

Do we really need to pay attention to the alarm
Wake up slow, wake up slow

But baby, you hardly even notice
When I try to show you this song
It's meant to keep you
From doin' what your supposed to
Like wakin' up too early
Maybe we could sleep in
I'll make you banana pancakes
Pretend like it's the weekend now
And we could pretend it all the time

Can't you see that it's just rainin'
There ain't no need to go outside

Ain't no need, ain't no need
Rain all day and I really, really, really don't mind
Can't you see, can't you see

We've got to wake up slow

GimletGirl said...

HT beat me to "Strawberry Wine" and "Ice Cream". The third song that popped into my head was "Jack and Diane." The entire song takes place as they're "suckin down chilli dogs outside the Tastee Freeze." I think that food item sort-of epitomizes the the small-town naivete and innocence captured in the song--innocence that pretty much disappears by the song's end. Oh, and it's also my go-to kareoke song, and I love it.
In my quest to think of other food songs, I managed to get the Oscar Meyer Wiener song stuck in my head. Thanks, Peep!
And lunch today is a chicken salad sandwich from the local bagelry.

Lady A said...

Did weird Al do "i'm a danish" also? Funny.

The Doctor said...

My baby woke me up this mornin'
She said get down that labour exchange,
And if you don't come home with a job son,
You'll get no dinner today.
You gotta secure me a weekly workin' wage.
You'll get no more fancy cookin',
You'll get no more apple pie,
You'll just get those plain hot potatoes
To satisfy your appetite.

La la la la la la Potatoes,
Boiled, French fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin' every single day.

I said I don't need your fancy cooking,
I like the simple things in life,
Just give me those plain hot potatoes
And I'll be well satisfied,
They'll satisfy my appetite.

La la la la la la Potatoes,
Boiled, French fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, yeh,
I want your lovin' 60 minutes an hour,
I want your lovin' 24 hours a day,
I want your lovin' 7 days a week.
Yeh, yeh, oh yeh.
I want your love, I need your love,
But all I get is hot potatoes
When I come home late at night
To satisfy my appetite.

Don't give me no more potatoes,
Boiled, French fried, any old way you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes,
I want your lovin' every single day.
I want your lovin'

La la la la la la Potatoes,
Boiled, French fried, any old way that you wanna decide.
Hot potatoes, Hot potatoes, yeh.

Earthquake said...

So, it would seem that all of my trash-talking about the court docket not being terribly full three business days before Christmas didn't screw me completely. I was dismissed at noon with nary a single jury empaneled. Take that, people who wind up with lengthy jury service!

Of course, I slept like shit last night because my throat feels like I stabbed it with a toothbrush two nights ago. Which I did, but that's a long story for another time. I've been sucking down Fisherman's Friends all afternoon and am about to prepare myself a big bowl of Progresso's Chickarina soup for lunch. After I finish that, I'm going to decide whether or not I should go in to work this afternoon or go Christmas shopping or just hang out at home and do laundry.

And, to toss in a little of that tragicomic food theming that PeeP can't find enough of, this long-time denizen of the Capital of Country Music offers this to today's post:

She said I ain't gonna fix you no more sausage
Biscuits and gravy on the side
You done said the wrong thing to me baby
And you can kiss big booty good-bye

She said I ain't gonna fix you no more queso
Or fix you nothing else that's chicken fried
Go on and find yourself another woman
And you can kiss big booty good-bye

Go on and find yourself a skinny woman
Something a little more your size
And don't come back to me a moaning
When she cuts you off of burgers and fries

She said I ain't gonna fix you no more chicken
And no more Momma's chocolate pies
And here's something heavy for you baby
You can kiss big booty good-bye



Go on and find yourself a skinny woman
Something a little more your size
And don't come back to me a moaning
When she cuts you off of burgers and fries

She said I ain't gonna fix you no more sausage
Biscuits and gravy on the side
You done said the wrong thing to me baby
And you can kiss big booty good-bye

And you can kiss big booty good-bye
And you can kiss big booty good-bye

Earthquake said...

Oh, and I have always been a big fan of Weird Al's Theme from Rocky XIII:

Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Ain't gonna fly now, he's just takin' up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.

But he’s no bum, he works down the street
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now he's choppin' up meat.
Come inside, maybe you'll hear him say,

Try the rye or the kaiser,
They're our special tonight.
If you want, you can have an appetizer
You might like our salami and the liver’s alright
And they'd really go well with the rye or the kaiser

Never eats while on the job,
He heard it’s good to stay hungry
But he makes a pretty mean shish kebab
Have a taste, they were made fresh today

Try the rye or the kaiser
Or the wheat or the white
Maybe I can suggest an appetizer
Stay away from the tuna, it smells funny tonight
But you just can’t go wrong with the rye or the kaiser

So today, his deli comes first
Still he dreams of his past days of glory
Goes in the back and beats up on the liverwurst
All the while you can still hear him say,

It’s the rye or the kaiser
It’s the thrill of one bite
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I won't put up a fight.
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.

HaterTot said...

Wow, EQ - taken out of context "I've been sucking down Fisherman's Friends all afternoon" sounds like you've made some lifestyle alterations.

Anonymous said...

Actually HT, the correct term for Fishermen is Seamen.

he he

Heliocentric said...

Run DMC Said in You be Illin'

Dinner, you ate it
there is none left
It was salty with butter and it was def.

You proceeded to eat it cuz you was in the mood,

But Homes you did not read
it was a can of dog food.

You be Illin'

And A Tribe Called Quest gave the health advice:

I don't eat no ham and eggs
cuz they're high in colesterol
hey Fife, do you eat'em?
nope
Yo Tip do you eat'em
nuh uh... not at all.

Earthquake said...

What do you mean "taken out of context"?

I suppose you know of some OTHER way to relieve a sore throat besides smokin' pole down at the docks...

By the way, I've also been pouring myself some nice cups of tea with tea and whiskey in them. Funny how those proportions start to shift as that course of treatment progresses.

Oh, and I want to give a shout-out to Billy Joel's bottle of red, bottle of white, even though the song doesn't do much food-talking outside of that.

Heliocentric said...

Quake, Gaming this afternoon at Newton House. The beer droid is empty, but the BSM carries bacta tanks of the stuff.

5:45

Earthquake said...

Copy.

Also, the blog community will be glad to know that I have chosen NOT to go to work this afternoon, despite having successfully completed my civic duty half a day earlier than I expected.

It can get done tomorrow.

Or in 2007.

And, I'm tossing a shout-out to Polk Salad Annie (and I mean the Tony Joe White version, not that showboat Elvis's version):

[spoken]
If some of ya'll never been down South too much...
I'm gonna tell you a little bit about this,
So that you'll understand what I'm talking about
Down there we have a plant
That grows out in the woods and the fields,
Looks somethin' like a turnip green.
Everybody calls it Poke salad. Poke salad.
Used to know a girl that lived down there and
she'd go out in the evenings and pick a mess of it...
Carry it home and cook it for supper,
'Cause that's about all they had to eat,
But they did all right.

[sung]
Down in Louisiana
Where the alligators grow so mean
There lived a girl that I swear to the world
Made the alligators look tame

Poke salad Annie, poke salad Annie
Everybody said it was a shame
Cause her mama was working on the chain-gang
(A mean, vicious woman)

Everyday 'fore supper time
She'd go down by the truck patch
And pick her a mess o' polk salad
And carry it home in a tote sack

Poke salad Annie, 'gators got you granny
Everybody said it was a shame
'Cause her mama was aworkin' on the chain-gang
(a wretched, spiteful, straight-razor totin' woman,
Lord have mercy. Pick a mess of it)

Her daddy was lazy and no count
Claimed he had a bad back
All her brothers were fit for
Was stealin' watermelons out of my truck patch


Poke salad Annie, the gators got your granny
Everybody said it was a shame
Cause her mama was a working' on the chain gang
(Sock a little polk salad to me, you know I need a mess of it)

HaterTot said...

Sunshine wins today's award for the most undecipherable and esoterroristic post!!

EQ - in your situation, my preferred remedy is warm whiskey, with a splash of water and lemon and a smidge of sugar (well, I use splenda, but whatev). I don't even bother with the tea. When GimletGirl used to live here, and I had a cold, she'd come home from work to find me drunk, on the couch, with empty airplane bottles all around me. But, I wasn't coughing!

Heliocentric said...

That message is simply because I don't know which of Master Quake's email addresses to use since he's skipping "work"

I can decode it for you right quick

Dear EarthQuake

Join us at the Newton house for fellowship and video games. Unfortunatly Draft beer cannot be provided today as the kegerator has been run dry by a team of resident alcoholics, but worry not. The store across the street carrys beer in bottles and cans. We will be starting at about 5:45

Warmest regards,
Mr. Sunshine

Heliocentric said...

And what do I get as a reward?

It'd better be something nicer than some witty banter... I ain't got no job and I need's me something that I can turn around a re-gift.

On a side note, I had an interview today and I think they will be offering me the position this afternoon. It's hard for me to say this as a temp, but I think the position is below me and I'll have to drink... I mean think about it for a while.

Earthquake said...

For the record, I'm not skipping work. I'm simply not taking advantage of the possibility of putting in a half day that I have already taken off for the highest of civic honors.

And, I'm sick-like. And, if I play my cards right, I'll be too drunk to drive out there shortly.

I don't really have another food song to try to keep this thing going. Sorry.

Heliocentric said...

Holiday party part 2

NOt the giant all Institution party, but the business services office party. Totally lame and the food is nowhere near as good as fresh rolled sushi, but the chocolate covered caramel corn is no bad.

Josephus said...

NO LUNCH TODAY!

LizTurtle said...

Yo - getting drunk at work is the bomb. And I wound up with the gift I bought at our yankee swap. Which is fine. b/c the last gift would have been a $15 gift certificate for Itunes, but seriously, would have sat there b/c I paralyze with the overwhelming number of choices when I have that handed to me. Hey, I've had a certificate for 50 free songs with my new DSL 2 months ago & I haven't used it. So my gift is a three-fer: office mad-libs (oh yeah!), office voo-doo kit (already scared my boss into ceding control to me) & 'complaint' sticky notes. They have boxes for "To:" "Whose Fault (mine, yours, ours, other:________ check boxes)", "Desired Outcome ("apology, explanation, litigation, promotion, restitution, change"). Hee hee! Seriously, if I hadn't stolen them from the guy who I stole them from, I would have had to hear about it until next year (he's in the cube behind me! Shhhh!!!)

PS I'm drunk! Woooooooooooo!!!!!!!

LizTurtle said...

Oh yeah, and my lunch was:
turducken
pulled chicken sammich with hot sauce (courtesy red hot & blue)
chicken wings (courtesy red hot & blue)
salad
creamed spinach (courtesy Boston Market)
antipasto
shrimp
veggies
truffles
sheet cake
cookies
beer
beer
beer
wine
beer


Me drunk. Woooooooooo!

LizTurtle said...

Proof I'm drunk: used the same closing line in the last two posts, but forgetting the 2nd time that it wasn't a) creative or b) even original.

LizTurtle said...

And: Woooooooooooooo!!!!!!