Thursday, November 30, 2006

Pavlov's Lunch

Every now & then in my office we have meetings at lunchtime to update us on what's going on in the firm, financial results for the last month/quarter/year/whatever, important announcements, etc. These meetings usually involve free lunch (free in the financial sense, certainly not in any other sense) (yes, it's bribery & it works . . . to a point). Usually it's pizza , but occasionally it's some packaged lunch, like we had last time, with a sandwich (choice of turkey on croissant, roast beef on something, tuna wrap, and something else), plus pasta salad, fruit salad, cookies, chips, and a pickle (HUGE lunch!). We all love the lunch that is (financially) free, but what about the other costs? I've gotten to the point where the thought of a free lunch sort of makes me shudder, because I know I'm going to have to sit through some meeting filled with yapping & dilbert-isms & boooooooooooringness. So what's your pavlovian response to free lunches? Do you power through it by thinking about sex? Do you avoid it all together, hiding in your cube, b/c a free lunch just ain't worth the pain of the meeting? Do you go to the meeting, but have an involvuntary response of vague headache & heavy eyelids every time you eat a turkey & brie on croissant ever again? And WFL on this fine last day of November?

49 comments:

Josephus said...

Luckily in my office we always over order for working lunches. So you can rest assured that around 1:00 an email will be sent around the office announcing that there are "sandwiches in the 8th floor kitchen". And lo and behold there will are plenty of sammies, cookies, chips and salad to go around.

Anyone up for HH@BB tonight?

Not sure about lunch yet.

Josephus said...

speaking of peep and miso, that reminds me of something...

ATTENTION OWFL: EXPECT A VERY SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT POST NEXT WEEK!

carry on.

m said...

hah... complicated DOS system...
sucker.
honestly i feel your pain though...

meeting food is simply an opportunity to hone your ninja skills. if you cannot sneak in, pocket the food and get back to your fortress of solitude (cube 3b-227) without getting duct taped to an office chair and being subjected to corporate brainwashing you really should give up your cobra kai membership card.

so my answer is if you can't get the food without attending, you best choice is starvation.

starve and like it.

in closing, on-site meeting food usually sucks. too much mayo, soggy wraps, rocklike croissants, .5 oz bags of lays from the early eighties, malformed tomatoes, non-fat cheese, tasteless roast beef, limp lettuce and not nearly enough love.... meeting food is NEVER made with love.

oh, and last night i made Turkey Pad Thai. It was excellent.

Heliocentric said...

Mr. PeeP.

"Fucking Temps"?

That kind of descrimination would not stand if we had union representation. You hear me Jo?

As a temp, I get neither invited to meetings, nor free lunch. So I break even. But back when I had a job, if the meeting was optional and the free lunch really was a lure, I'd resist. I hate co-workers... although yesterday, Lady Sunshine brought me to a realization that all my girlfriends have come from the workplace. In my defense, I have always worked in residential programs where there is no major seperation between social and business life. Plus chicks at work dig me because I rarely wear underwear, and when I do, it's pretty spectacular.

For lunch today I will dine on the entrails of the mother fucker who stole my bike yesterday. He must have huge cojones too, since the cocksucker cut my lock in broad daylight right on Mass Ave in Capital city.

Man the middle portion of my triathlon, just got exponentially harder.

I'm not too in to HH@BB today, but will grudgingly go if my after-work date is going... You hear me Cornfeld?

Heliocentric said...

Sometimes a record executive is asking Mitch for a meeting during lunchtime. He always must to be taking me to nice place, or I do not go to the meeting.

They always never give me the record deal, because i keeps it real and won't be selling out to no 'the man' ILL Mitch takes no suggestions over his raps, they comes from the heart.

Been gones for a whiles and sure have missed OWFLs. Now the INS has calmed down a bit so Mitch is back.

Turn it up!

LizTurtle said...

Ah, I wish I could do BB tonight - but alas, I have much cooking & cleaning & drudgery to do (Cinderella, Cinderella!). Also, I have to test out the special fancy cocktail I'm attempting to have at the ready for my party. I hope I am not too hungover tomorrow. Actually, that won't happen, b/c if it does, it means I drank too much of it & there won't be any left for Saturday.

FL, I'm totally getting General Tso's, like I predicted yesterday. I almost broke down last night & got some at the Whole Food hot bar, but I resisted & got a "salad". With generous portions of untraditional "salad toppings".

Josephus said...

miso, Sometimes you pre-announce special announcements if you want to give others the chance to offer to make the announcement.

I'm getting hungry and I think they might be ordering in lunch for the big meeting in the conf room...Free 2nd lunch!

LizTurtle said...

Hey, Mitch, were you on any British Air flights between Moscow & London, by any chance??

GimletGirl said...

The key to surviving a free lunch/meeting is to sit in the corner with a kindred spirit who will join you under-the-breath snarking. Otherwise, it's best to fake a super-important emergency meeting w/ a client that conflicts with the staff meeting and then go hide in the bathroom or a closet or something until you can come swoop up the leftovers.
For lunch, I could totally go for some Southwestern Corn Chowder from Eatzi's. Since Eatzi's is closed, that ain't happening. So tell me OWFLers, what should I eat? Here are my choices: Kebab sandwich or hummus, sandwich from bagel joint, sushi, MSG packed Chinese food buffet, kosher pizza restaurant, or taking my chances at the work cafeteria.
And, Jo, I'd be up for BB tonight.

Josephus said...

thanks for paying attention gg.

That's 2 for HH@BB!!

LizTurtle said...

MSG! MSG! MSG! That's what I'm doing!

LizTurtle said...

The house is fabulous. Although it's a disaster in so many ways right now. Scary! I have a lot to do before Saturday! Man, I just hope I have time for a Sat afternoon nap. Panic!

HaterTot said...

I'm questionable for HH. Right now, I say "no." I've been out a lot this week, and I am tired. But, maybe I'll swing by for one, post gym. I'd rather do it tomorrow though, if we could change the day...

I don't have a job, therefore I don't have meetings. And, I've never had an optional free lunch meeting. Most meetings that I have that include free lunch require my attendance, as they're very often my meetings. Back when I had a job, that is.

HaterTot said...

GG - get Kabob. But that could just be b/c I had Lebanese Taverna last night.

m said...

MSG laden chinese all the way.

i heard it causes superpowers

Earthquake said...

Which is to say, this is like the Groundhog Day of "free" office lunch.

Earthquake said...

Which is to say, this is like the Groundhog Day of "free" office lunch.

Josephus said...

I'm really getting into the new Taye Diggs show "Day Break" or "Evil Groundhog Day".

I'll talk about it mor on the new TV Lunch blog...


DIZ!

LizTurtle said...

Nice! The flu! Well, how was he to know the difference? I mean, vomiting, headache, achiness, lack of appetite - seriously, there's no good way to tell if it's drunkenness or the flu.

Yeah, that excuse didn't work for me in HS either. "I swear Mom! Some bug came up & hit me last night on my way home! But now I feel fine!"

Alrighty, General Tso, I'm coming for you.

LizTurtle said...

Yeah, I'm with you, Jo - I could sit & stare at Taye Diggs for an hour a week for the rest of the tv season. Mmmmm . . . . he's groovy. But not in the same way that Terry McMillan's real-life husband turned out to be.

When is this mythical OWFL TV blog starting?

Josephus said...

I had planned on starting a new TV Lunch blog once the new OWFL was up and running. But since that seems so far off...I may create one right here on Mother Blogger.

If I did create a seperate "TV Lunch" blog (a baby sis to OWFL)how many of you would be interested in joining in?

GimletGirl said...

Thanks for the votes, guys, but I ended up taking my chances on the caf due to the lure of enjoyable lunchtime company. But I'll keep your votes in mind for tomorrow.
Jo, I'd be all about the TV Lunch blog. And is Daybreak really that good? I was intrigued both by the presence of Taye's beauty and the presence of the general awesomeness always brought by my favorite Hollywood Baldwin, Adam "The Un-Baldwin" Baldwin. But I avoided it b/c I was kinda psyched to get back an extra hour of my week thanks to the absence of Lost.

Josephus said...

Daybreak is good.

And so far the "Groundhog Day" gimmick is working. Plus they've put a few twists on it.

Heliocentric said...

Peep, your Temp had the "Irish FLu". I think that would put him in violation of the Union's regulations, if they ever get organized. But that may be a "Fucking Temp" However to use the all encompasing "Fucking Temps" is just descriminatory and hateful. It's like saying all Irishmen are drunks... Ok bad example.

I had to go to a staff meeting and I'm a fucking temp! What up with that. They just paid me to stare at this pretty girls chest for an hour. Other than that it sucked... And no free lunch. These bastards better hire me for something.

FL will be fast since I have an orientation to go to at 2:00

Heliocentric said...

PeeP, he sounds like a real winner.

Damn spellcheck.

That should read "chronic failure"

I mean, History / Religion, and Iowa. The kid doesn't even seem remotely qualified to temp.

Heliocentric said...

And there you have it.

I'm out on HH@BB

LizTurtle said...

Goddamit, fucking Blogger. Erasing my comments. To sum up: Taye Diggs is hott, is Adam Baldwin the Baldwin brother who doesn't look like a Baldwin, b/c I didn't even know he was on the show. Day Break is a good show, it's like choose-your-own-adventure, b/c if he doesn't like what happens today, he can start over & this time *not* get a cup of coffee, or *not* drive down to a deserted motel or whatever. I'm in for TV lunch blog. B/c I've been working too hard lately.

Publish this, blogger bitch.

Heliocentric said...

Lezturtle

I learn to not try travel when INS is on the case. I have friend from New Zeeland who leave USA to go to Canada after he visa expire to play rugby. When he try to get back in, he gets deported. Dummy.

So no, I was not on any flight, poisining by radiation.

I mean every soviet school boy learn how to poisin, but you do not learn radiation poisin technique until you get job with KGB. Or at least that is how it was before I leave. Don't know how it is back home now, but I think Putin know something about KGB and they techniques.

Anonymous said...

I had a salad for lunch today from the cafeteria. Eaten during a work-related discussion.

So I attended a work meeting AND paid for my own lunch.

Who sucks now?

Heliocentric said...

I lunched from Subway. Meatball, 6 inch. Tuna, 4 inch round.

Subway ain't too bad if you don't eat their lunchmeat... or their "seafood" medley.

Even though I am not an employee here at Brookings, I am entitled to their employee discout at the Health clubs in the area. I am totally going to save 30% on my pool needs for triathlon training. I mean it sucks that my bike got stole, but this helps with the training.

Heliocentric said...

WHo's looking out for the Watchdog?

Doesn't look like anybody is.

LizTurtle said...

WD, most of my office meetings are for my group & most of those meetings (99% of them) are brown bag, so I feel your pain. Mandatory and not free. Grr.

And Mitch, just because I don't want to sleep with you doesn't make me a lesbian.

LizTurtle said...

Dammit, M! If you had caught me before I bought this house . . . .

LizTurtle said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Heliocentric said...

LT,

What is this lesbian mean?

and how can you not want some of this? You are lying. This much is obvious.

HaterTot said...

December calendar is up. Let me know if you want to make changes.

The week between xmas and New Year's is tentative, depending on how many folks are working and whatnot.

HaterTot said...

I am not in for HH. Later I will go to Shorty's house and pick up medicine for Dirty Mitts. Otherwise, I am on my couch. The duvet has come off my bed, and onto the couch with me. (for those of you not in the know, that means that I'm exceptionally grumpy - otherwise I just use the mini duvet I keep in the living room)

No lunch. Not hungry.

Josephus said...

I could tell HT was in a grumpish mood when I checked the schedule.

Poor Jesus...

Heliocentric said...

Wow PeeP, so you saved a soul. Great job.

I personally see nothing wrong with going to work under the influence, I mean sometimes it's the only way to get through the miserable day, but you have to learn to not show it, and you have to make peace with your substance abuse... make it a part of your life, not a problem in it.

That being said, I've never shown up to work under the influence of alcohol. I have left the office drunk many times, but never showed up that way. High is another story. I think the nuber of times I have done that is on par with the number of stars in the sky.

But OWFL is my new drug. In your face Huey Lewis

Heliocentric said...

RE: the schedule

I am celebrating a birthday on the 10th of december, and wouldn't mind using that as a topic for monday the 11th.

WatchDog, you mind trading with me? I;ll give you a 19 for an 11.

HaterTot said...

It is done, Sunshine.

LizTurtle said...

The only time (I think) that I've gone into work drunk was last year when I drank too much the night before & was still drunk when I woke up. I've never gotten hammered in the morning before work. Drunk from the night before? Well, that's a different story.

Good job, Peep! Maybe in a few years that guy will track you down & tell you how much your 'tough love' meant to him & then he'll give you the manly, but warm, hug of a recovering addict. Aw!

The Doctor said...

peeP's temp told my lunch date she was old.

Panang Curry -- Chicken -- ate every bite. I'm STARVING.

Josephus said...

GG I think it's just you and me for HH@BB which makes it less an HH and more the beginning of an illicit and tawdry affair.

See you at 5:00?

Actually I think earthquake said he is in...

LizTurtle said...

Man, I'm starving, too. And I have nothing to do. I might leave early & do some drudgery at home.

How could I be so stuffed after eating only 1/2 my General Tso's (or General 'Tsao's' as this place called him) and be so hungry now? WTF, stomach?

GimletGirl said...

Tawdry's one of my favorite words! We can discuss TV, but I won't be there until between 5:45 and 6, due to my current location in the suburban wilds of Rockville.

Josephus said...

I'll be there GG.
I think Lady A may make an appearance as well.

LizTurtle said...

Dammit! It's like somebody knew I was thinking of leaving early & just gave me something! Argh!

Unknown said...

someone fucking threw away my home made mac and cheese from the office kitchen fridge. i'm slammed with work and wanted to just heat up some mac really quick and eat at my desk...SO ANGRY!!!!!