A friend of mine from high school (whom I shall call D) came in to town for the weekend. She has a conference to attend here in DC, and she's staying at my place because her employers saw fit to fund her flight here but not her lodging.In the course of catching up last night, I asked about D's college roommate (whom I will call C). C recently left her husband for a student, with whom C was having an affair, in the graduate department where C teaches. After an intricate exchange of facts and realizations, D and I discovered that the student with whom C was having an affair and for whom C recently left her husband is my good friend from college (whom I will call H).
Talk about a small world.
Over coffee this morning (I'm working from home today.), D and I spent some time talking about that moment in a relationship when the excitement of flirtation becomes the treachery of cheating. D and I have a tendency to run off at the mouth when discussing such topics. We're both a little wordy and (if I'm to be generous) a little literary in our debates, particularly about topics that are more conceptual and less concrete. Consequently, I will spare you the more arduous details of our discussion.
Still, it got me to thinking. In most cases of "the other man" or "the other woman" that you see in stories, be they on the page or the big or small screen (or, yes, mikeysunshine, in your latest contribution to the realm of Star Trek: The Next Generation fan fiction erotica), such relationship indiscretions often happen over lunch: a long lunch break from the office at a place that isn't too close to the "regular" place but IS close enough to a motel where you can retire for a little Afternoon Delight.
So, my questions to you today, OWFL, is this: what do you order when you are lunching with the Forbidden Fruit? Or, coming at it from the other side, where do you take someone else's wife to lunch?
And, of course, WFL?
64 comments:
I used to have this co-worker who looked like the middle sister between Giada and Audrey Hepburn with a body like Stephanie Seymour circa 1990. Her husband got a new job in California, so they’re gone now – so’s her husband. We used to go out to lunch every now and then. Nothing ever happened. It sure was fun though. We’d go for Chinese usually.
Sorry, that was boring.
I’ll be lunching at chipotle today.
Grad students are whoores.
When I was dipping my pen in the company ink with N. Kettner... No that's too revealing, we'll call her Natalie K. she wanted very much to keep it a secret. in retrospect, she was a terrible person and an awful girlfriend to have, she wouldn't even acknowledge that we were together. that girl messed up my head.... more so.
We weren't really cheating, unless you count going to lunch together cheating on the image that we weren't together, but we would do just what Quake was talking about. We'd go to the hidden SoHo in the building that houses the embassy of Sweeden. I'd usually have some sort of asian themed food, sushi, General Tso chix, noodles.
God, she was a vegetarian too. What the hell was I thinking?
And it ain't cheating if she's a hologram. That's what makes my fan fiction so great.
Pho...
cheating is evil
we've all done it
and should drink drano
because we are
horrible people.
M, we don't have draino at the crib, it a store brand drain opener. Is that ok?
KC, if you're lurking today, I'm joking. I can't even cheat on you in my dreams... or on the holodeck.
Sunshine...you drank way to much gin last night.
Actually earthquake it's funny you should bring this topic up as it was the subject of discussion on last night's ride home from the bar.
And kudos to the czar for getting everyone to extend the evening by heading out to NE DC to see HT at the Red and the Black.
Way to go Czar!
Thanks Jo!
(does this count for multiple personalities?)
I drank Gin last night? Who the hell thought that was a good idea?
jo: there is a remote possibility that the topic came up before I left the bar last night.
I did the office-ship on the DL for a while, but most of those lunches consisted of brown-bagging (sadly, I only mean lunch) it in McPherson Square. At least when we could find a section of grass that was sufficiently free of visible dog- or human-shit.
In a cheating situation, lunch would be determined by where we are in the process. If we're right on the cusp of doing the Dirty Deed, I would probably go pull-out-all-the-stops and get a real fancy lunch before we made the beast with two backs in a dingy highway sleazebag motel. If we're already neck-deep in it, then I would just swing through the drive-through at Wendy's for a jalapeno double cheddar melt.
For lunch today, I'm taking someone else's wife out. Not sure what I'm having yet.
And, I meant swing through the drive-through on the way to the sleazebag motel.
For the cheatin'.
I'm refraining from comment on today's topic. Ohhhhh... but it's gonna be hard...
The Czar notes that while we all have probably indulged in some sort of infidelity, it is the official position of OWFL that the institution of marriage is a wondrous, beautiful thing and we celebrate those who choose to engage in it.
That is all.
Oh, but I will thank Jo for corralling the other OWFLers to make a trip to my hood. I even walked to the bar. We should go there more often.
Well Said Jo.
Faithfulness is the new ... um... ah...
lessons from last night's experience:
* it is impossible to explain to beautiful bartender that jack daniels is NOT bourbon.
* it is possible to finish 2/3rds of a bottle during the course of a 2.5 hour bar tab
* nj transit is evil
* if you don't remember how you got home, don't ask.
* orange powerade now tastes 20% more like ass
I always thought powerade was mountain dew that went flat... then had black pepper added to it.
Yeah...thanks Jo for challenging me to a beer chugging contest at the end of the night. Perfecto vomito.
And all I have to say about the topic is "room service".
There were deaf people at the bar last night. We were talking about them just fine until Jo decided to point and whisper.
We should have gotten a photo for Rico.
I am calling in my liverwust and salami sub order now. Can't wait!
I wouldn't know anything about it unless you mean man-love. I'm on-board the Zagreb-1 semi-submersible drilling platform in the West African ocean. Brought to you by Satellite (undoubtedly at great cost per bit but it wasn't being used anyway .. or at the very least at any cost to my own company).
I have some decent pics, none of me yet .. I look like shit so here is a cool pic of one of the flying bridges.
So, I have no idea about forbidden fruit, but I'd definitely be down for a three-some or more-some if the opportunity ever presented itself.
BTW lunch was already pig's-ass between two pieces of bread. I feel at home here with the Russians and Croates.
L8rs
Clearly, none of you all have never seen the geeks, nerds, and freak-shows I work with. There will never, ever be any afternoon delight up in Rockville. So I have nothing to add to this topic.
Lunch is an Italian-ish panini thing, which is super greasy. Unfortunately, I didn't realize how greasy until I tried to grab it from under the warming lights in the cafeteria, and the folks behind me in line saw me touch it, so I had to take it. Ugh, I feel like I've been rolling around in motor oil.
Diz I'm not sure where to begin.
For you sports fans out there, Bo is dead.
Tomorrow's game of the century just got bigger.
diz: those pictures are huge and for the record i always knew you were an international arms dealer.
jo: i thought you were refering to bo jackson. i had a bevy of "bo know. . ." jokes lined up
sunny: generic drano works sometimes. try and get the "gel" kind though. it busts through clogs
Adding onto Jo's post:
Any DC OWFLers interested in catching the big game. My alma mater's game isn't televised (and it's actually a big one--or what passes for a big one for the red-headed stepchildren of the big ten), and I'm in a football watching mood. OSU/Michigan is usually a game I can get into. Any takers?
I got my little lady to pick up my lunch tab today. She purchased the Holiday and spice, turkey and cranberry sammie from Cosi. It was great. Too bad it is only around for a limited time.
I ate lunch today.
With someone else's wife.
Went to Busboys and Poets and had their chicken-salad sandwich with kettle chips. Excellent. I had only been there twice before, both times for coffee and one of those exeedingly drunk. (I was trying to keep myself awake long enough to get to a party where I could continue getting drunk for hours to come.)
The chicken salad (and the resulting sandwich) was excellent. Lots of apple and walnut and raisin and whatnots. Their multigrain was also exceptional. I will now recommend that joint for food as well as free wi-fi.
And, gg, don't worry. Infidelity isn't restricted to co-workers.
And, jo, lest anyone misinterpret my motives here: I officially subscribe to the official OWFL position on the institution of marriage.
diz, that pic was indeed large. and of what i could make out, it looked like something straight out of that really bad movie "Waterworld". remember that piece of crap?
i ate some leftover stuff: a bean, tomato, squash, chicken, pasta concoction i made up of all kinds of stuff in my fridge that i didn't want to go bad. i am up to nyc this weekend to visit misschibi as it was her bday yesterday and we're celebrating tonight! shout 2 da chib!
so busy today. ugh.
Man, I was scared you meant Bo.
And thanks Jo. I was at BB, but could not go to the Black & Red. I guess I qualify as 'nobody', since 'everybody' went. Thank. It's good to know where I stand.
Lunch today was office potluck, so there were many many things. Best thing: dumplings. Mmmm. Made by authentic chinamen. Well. Chinawoman. My cranberry nut bread was some good shizzle for shizzle. Was it worth being called a 'nobody' by Jo? Let's just say, it'll comfort me tonight when I'm crying & drinking alone tonight.
Dude, I've never had an affair. I have a hard enough time getting one guy on board, let alone 2 (oh, who will make a comment first . . . ). And no, I ain't no man-stealer. Although I've never tried very hard . . . .
2 guys on board?
Sunshine: lt is going to be drinking alone and vulnerable tonight. I have a simple equation to sum that up:
Tonight = lizturtle + 3 OnBoard
(where Me = 1 & You = 2)
That equasion isn't simple at all.
But I like where you're going with it.
Wow, 12 minutes? You are slow on the uptake. Too much gin slowed your reflexes?
Yeah, sorry. I'm having connection issues.
But, not THOSE kind of connection issues.
You know what phrase I hate all of a sudden? "Process mapping." What a dumb phrase.
In the interest of continuing my theme for the day, I am now mapping some processes while working "from home" in a coffeehouse called Tryst.
Whilst mapping processes, I'm trying to decide if there is a particularly apt dish for lunchtime indiscretions. I haven't come up with a big winner just yet, but I'm pretty sure it is going to have pork in it.
Lizturtle is my favorite nobody.
I had lunch at the Pentagon today.
A chicken cordon bleu sandwich from Dunkin Donuts.
I ate with another man's wife. She is also my boss.
Aw, Jo! Sniff!
What's really weird is that song has been going through my head all day - I think b/c James Bond is on my mind.
Tryst! Did you do that on purpose EQ? Clearly an indiscretion lunch would involve sausage & oysters. I don't know what food would be eaten though.
As for infedility lunches:
Moons Over My Hammy at Denny's.
Is there anything that meal CAN'T do?
Ew. Chicken cordon bleu from Dunkin Donuts? That's just . . . wrong . . . somehow. Did they serve it on a donut like a Luther burger?
I only sort of did it on purpose. And, who is still sitting next to me?
That's right.
Another man's wife.
I'm awesome.
Did you know that "working from home" is a code for "drinking beer earlier in the day?"
Oh my golly, lt.
I may have to make good with my offer of taking advantage of you this evening, if for no other reason than you just introduced the Luther Burger to my consciousness.
Thank you.
Thank you ever so much.
I saw a great shirt at the ND vs. Navy game
"You can't drink all day, if you don't start first thing in the morning"
Truer words were never written.
I'm jealous. I want to 'work from home'.
I don't know, EQ. I'm not another man's wife.
Oh, fertheluv, will someone please marry lt so she and I can violate your sacred vows?
I'd marry Lizturtle, but she's not real... plus she's not a scientologist.
i got a "double cheeseburger" from the cafeteria downstairs. Flavor wasn't too bad but i'm pretty pissed that only had one piece of cheese. i'm pretty sure that to be a double cheese burger it needs two pieces of cheese and two burgers.
cheap bastards.
M, what you got was a double hamburger with cheese.
you're right, I feel each patty on a double cheeseburger should be entitled to it's own slice of cheese.
I am of the school of thought that a proper cheeseburger should have no meat face untouched by cheese. Therefore, two patties = three cheese slices. One on top, one on bottom, one between.
You should never skimp on cheese coverage.
thank you sunny, for confirming my suspicions that anti-dairy terrorists actually run the cafeteria. in retribution i will do NO more work for this multinational today.
who wants to talk about bo jackson?
i had a baseball card of his with huge neon punklike letters say "BO BREAKER!!!" and a picture of him breaking a bat getting a single.
bo knows indy car
canned soup again. Not very satisfying. I'm very sad because I have a perfectly fine Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich with bacon on it at home.
I mean I have a SPICY BREAST sandwich...
or PS3 based violence... has anyone else heard about this shit? drivebys (and not even in DC), armed robbery and a group of three hundred rushing the doors and ending in a riot.
yay for the darkerside of humankind
okay.. apparently my memory is getting worse with age and alcohol abuse... bo breaker
You should sic your sommelier-bot on them, M. And by 'them', I mean the dairy-nazis in your cafeteria, the rioters for the PS3, and pretty much everyone else.
Me, I'd like to sic him on the people who didn't get their food out to the potluck in time for me to get any. I went through the line & then these fuckers brought their meatballs & fried rice out. So I got one meatball and some cold fried rice. Fuckers. There oughta be a law against bringing food late to a potluck. Being on time to get in line at a potluck shouldn't be punishable!!
Maybe I'll go see if there's any pickings left in the commons room.
Yeah, that's the weirdest swing I've ever seen. No wonder he washed out of baseball.
Hitting U St. after Sushi Taro tonight if anyone's interested. In sushi or U St.
Mikey, you never married your invisible friend when you were younger?
The Czar wants a steak tonight.
And to see Casino Royale.
Turtle. Bless your heart for calling Magic Tony imvisable and not imaganary.
We were never married. Gay marriage was totally out of the question in the 70's
Jo, if you hold out, me and your neighbor may go to see Jimmy B on Wed. Night
I agree with EQ on his 'no burger face shall be cheeseless' philosophy, but I would take it a step further, b/c that leaves the sides open. I would make a cheese envelope to put the burger in. And yes, I know, eventually the cheese would drip off the sides, but that's ok. As long as it started life out completely encased in cheese it would be ok. Hm. That would make a good outer space burger.
I will keep that in mind mikeyS...
Dude, anyone who would call them 'imaginary' friends deserve to get a can of whoop-ass opened on them.
Mmm. James Bond. I hear there are many shirtless scenes.
I hate shirts.
I love cheese.
Would also love to CR on Wed. night, but I'll be in the swirl and ruckus of the Family Gathering in Chicago.
Which is to say, well drunk, I should hope. And, on a relative's good liquor, at that.
but what is your position on shirts made of cheese?
Only acceptable if worn by a burger.
In my google quest to find a picture of a shirt made of cheese, I found this, which ties in nicely to my food-shirt post the other day. I like this better than 'Velveeta Queen'.
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