Mother fucker...GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY FOOD!!!
So I have this massive man in my office that HAS to fucking hover over my goddamn food and comment about everything. Really he's just waiting for me to offer him one little morsel of my pathetic home packed lunch.
I truly hate when people ask me what i'm eating. There is a fucking reason that I'm eating in my office and in the dark. Stay the fuck away!! Don't ask shit man!
I know we've had posts before about pet peeves but there are a lot of newcomers lately that haven't had the floor to vent and hey, i'm sure we've developed new reasons to hate the folks around us in the past few months. So let it all out and while the venom spews and the food flies, tell us WFL BITCHES????!!!????
PS...if you have anything else you want to bitch about...LET IT OUT YO!!
39 comments:
My new pet peeve isn't lunch related. I hate it, HATE IT, that I feel the need to explain to people what I mean by "Cornhole" every single time I say it (which has been several, several times in the past few days).
Get over it Jo!
Embrace the Cornhole!
Not sur what's for lunch.
Probably a salad.
today is a hodge podge of things: left over salmon (a few days old, but it's passed the smell test and is all good), turkey and swiss sam fixins....etc etc.
i may just skip it all and go have lunch with a friend. oh well...it'll just be WFL tomorrow.
my biggest pet peeve is when i heat up food in the m'wave and then i leave for a few mins and then someone else goes and takes my shit out and then heats up their shit when mine is clearly not hot yet. i mean, i can understand if i left it in there for 5 minutes, but usually, i just step away for a minute or two. people are just fucking impatient.
next time, get there earlier if you want to heat up your food before mine jackass.
Oddly enough, one of my biggest gripes is people who put their shit in the microwave and then aren't there when it stops running, especially when it's noon or so and you know damned well the microwave is in high demand. Then, they get all up in arms when they finally do come back and find me standing with my shit in the microwave, and they're all like, "but my shit isn't hot yet."
Yeah, well, my job isn't to make sure you warm your lunch properly. If you want your lunch warmed properly before my lunch is warmed properly, then stand here and wait for your lunch to warm properly. Here, let me show you how to do it. See? Mine isn't quite warm enough yet so I'm putting it back in. Once it's done, you should try it.
lc: it's probably good you and I don't work together.
WFL? Not sure, although I think I might actually make it over to that little loaf of bread joint that I talked about last week and never made happen. My sandwich will have at least three types of meat on it. One of them will be bacon.
Yeah, sorry, LC, I'm with EQ on that one. I'll usually try to fill my water cup, get out a napkin, fork, etc., but if they're not back by the time I'm done with that, well, then. Plus I work in a big office, so there's no telling whose it is. Eh, I usually don't microwave b/c of the wait. Today, however, I am microwaving! I have an iranian lamb/tomato/eggplant stew my mom makes over rice. It's awesome. And I'm looking forward to it. Although I'm having issues with my loan at the moment, so I'm not actually that hungry. Argh. Argh argh argh.
My other big peeve (which I was actually going to blog about next time, but I guess I won't) is the people who bring those insulated lunch containers & then put the entire fucking thing in the fridge. Like, dude, it's a fucking fridge. Take your shit out of the box b/c your sandwich & pudding cup will take up a lot less room than your 2 sq. ft lunchbox. Or just keep the fucking thing at your desk, since it's a cooler!! Goddammit! Fuckers! Last week there were like 4 of them in there. I almost just pulled them all out & left them on the counter, but decided to be mature. I went & tattled on them to the office manager instead.
Ha! Especially when there's not even half a cup left & it burns to the pot! I think that's part of the reason we got rid of coffee pots - we have those brew one-cup-at-time machine dealios. I hate it, though. The coffee sucks.
I also hate when people don't close the cabinet doors or drawers in the kitchen. Not b/c I don't just loooove walking in & banging my leg, mind you. Like were you born in a barn or something? WTF?
Nice post and sooooo appropriate for the day/week/month/threeyearperiod i'm having...
When i worked on an office that had a littel break room down the hall with a microwave in it i used to hate HATE HATE it when people would reheat a fish product. The entire floor would smell like a fucking bait bucket and worse than that my clothes would go home smelling like that ass... (makes me pine for the days when i could just go to a bar for a bit and absorb enough cigarette smoke to cover the smell)... first of all *FISH SHOULD NOT BE REHEATED*... if you do you are taking your fucking life in your hands and mine are beginning to shake...
ugh.. well that is no longer an issue as i now am on a microwaveless floor...
i don't go downstairs for lunch... i eat at my desk... why? so i can get shit done... all the same, this is my time to not answer your questions... if i am sitting at my desk, running my motherfucking queries while eating the remains of a bacon cheeseburger, it may be a bad time to poke your ugly fucking face in my cube and ask if i "have a minute"... no, no, no... i will reply as i attempt to bullseye your temple with one of my many staplers... (ahhh swingline)... but you will come in anyway and ask your inane question and draw my ire...
god.. i need a handgun.
lunch today is the bottom 1/4 of a box of jalapeño cheez-its... i am continuing the hyphenation diet..
tonight's dinner is already planned... its Pizza Pot Pie from Bettycrockers meal of the day that i just added to my google homepage...
i'm amped.. if i can just get out of here with earning a warrant it'll be awesome...
Pizza Pot-Pie
i'm making it without mushrooms because they are disgusting... you should have it too.
Diz -
www.playcornhole.org
My pet peeve is my own fault--when I forget my lunch. Despite the fabulous weather yesterday, in an effort to save money and eat more healthfully, I spent much of the afternoon channeling my inner Betty Crocker. I made a plethora of dining options for the week, including a fantabulous white bean and tuna salad. Last night I packed up a portion of the salad and some mixed greens in some tupperware, anticipating lunch-time joy today. And it's still sitting at home in my fridge. Boo. At least I didn't leave it on the counter, cause I'm pretty sure the cat would find a way to open tuna-containing tupperware.
Lunch today was instead a dull, uninspired turkey sandwich from the cafeteria that just couldn't compete w/ the suprisingly cheap yet gourmet-ish, protein and flavor-packed wonderfulness that would have been today's lunch.
My only consolation is that I know what's for dinner.
Oh, and LC, I'm sorry, but I'm totally with LT and EQ on the microwave thing.
Mmmm. My mom's the best cook.
I need to chill. I'm getting heartburn from all this house stuff. I'm going away from my desk to knit. Yes, I'm the happy homemaker.
Jo, Bonbon (blog stalker) emailed me late yesterday afternoon. The entire message read "What is cornhole?"
diz if I didn't know you were dilligently working on the ne website I would buy a plane ticket and come to Texas to explain to you the difference between Cornhole and cornhole.
But since I am confident you are working hard I'll let your earlier comment slide, and I won't ass rape you.
I got the salad trio for lunch again, bacon/potato salad, chicken salad and a garden salad.
From Vie de France.
Peep - did you laugh maniacally when you were doing it? i would have... lets start a rogue cop club of people that really cannot be considered rogue cops because they were never cops before so they would just be vigelanties..
yeah.
thats the ticket...
hey, does anyone remember a movie where there are two little kids sitting at the table while mom makes dinner and one says "mooooom, timmy called me a dildo" and teh response is something to the effect of "timmy, dont call your brother a dildo"...
ive been trying to figure out what that is from or if it is a repressed memory...
I shouldn't have eaten my lunch for breakfast.
I hate it when folks microwave their shit with no cover, lid or paper towel and it spatters all over the place and they don't bother to give a quick wipe. That stuff builds up and it is gross.
I also hate women with annoying voices in fuzzy white tank tops who romp in my bar when I want to be there with fellow OWFLers eating burgers and playing pool.
I just ate 4 leftover peanut butter cookies from the weekend slumber party, and sadly, I am still hungry. I'm almost tempted to drive all the way the fuck over to So's Your Mom. I have some nervous energy I need to get out, so that seems like not a bad plan.
Oh, and I'm drinking milk out of the carton to wash down my cookies. Delicious.
I hate people who go to Angles without me.
And Maniac Cops.
Unscheduled, extended vacation / unemployment has me really withdrawing from people and other things that displease me. However in my working life, i used to share an office with The Jake. THe Jake was a nice fellow who I liked plenty good. And he did his PHD work at the University of Florida, so that makes him immune to idiocy in my book. However, I guess his parents never taught him how to eat, or they used to put him in a cabinet or closet or something so he never learned the polite way to chew. Which basically means you keep your lips together and you work your jaw up and down silently processing the food.
The Jake couldn't do the lips closed or the silently parts of that. He would smack his lips, crunch with his mouth open, it was the most annoying and irritating thing I can think of. He used to break out a bag of pretzels and that was my cue to go to the bathroom, copier, coffee break, or anywhere but in the room with The Jake.
Now a days, I don't see that many people at work, since nobody works with me. I mean since I don't work. But I'm fixing to get myself back into the workforce as a work hobbyist. I'll let y'all know how my temp interview goes tomorrow.
Oh, I haven't ranted on anything yet... since I hate everyone, and everything (except Cornhole, of course) it's hard to find one thing to rant about. Also, since I don't have a job, I have already forgotten about the day to day annoyances of the workplace.
I am with Lady A on the annoying fuzzy sweater lady. Horrible. Also, those wacky Germans yesterday at Cornhole Park pissed me off - just throwing all the bags in the air. This ain't a Mentos commercial, bitch.
I hate how cold my apartment is when it's 80 degrees out. Again I find myself bundled up, in front of the space heater.
I need a nap.
That chick last night was really pissing me off. I think it's because she wouldn't sit down. Even the slack-jawed giant who was sitting there didn't bother because he sat down.
jo: would have called you to eat my Get-One burger, but I don't have your number.
Slight change of plans for lunch. I think I'm going to drive for a bit and pick up some safety barriers. Probably pick up something along the way.
Damn it. Don't worry, little-loaf-of-bread sandwich! I'll find you some day soon!
And, m, that line played a prominent role in the anal probe episode of South Park.
I think mamon's post turned me on just a little.
Hm. Mamon, do you work with Dipso? Wasn't he the one with the gyro problem at work?
You would love a guy I used to work with. He would eat kippers & sardines straight out of the can. You think tuna smells bad? That ain't got nothing on this shit.
We heard you the first time HT.
Maybe you should put all that "nervous energy" to use...
That was all blogger, Jo.
you know what i hate? i hate it when you reschedule a lunch date with someone b/c they forgot to show up to the first one and then they forget to show up AGAIN.
everyone is so hating on lachoi today, but i just say EFF YOU all. how do ya like that, huh???
and m, i brought salmon into the office and heated that bitch up in the m'wave just now. take that!!!!! and guess what...it doesn't smell so that's stickin it to your pet peeve.
and for the record, it's not like i walk away from the microwave for like 5 minutes, which would justify someone pulling my stuff out of the m'wave. i am not that rude. literally i stick it in, put it on for 2 mins, then walk down the hall to put something in my office. i perfectly time it in fact that the m'wave is letting out its last warning beeps by the time i get back to the kitchen. however, on a few occassions, i get some fuckwad standing with his tupperware lid open about ready to pull my food out...hello???? my shit may need a second nuke. and me hovering over the m'wave willing it to warm ain't gonna change the fact that i got there first.
so, if you want warm food asap, then get to the m'wave before me BITCH! or go buy it. or bring a sandwich.
fuckers.
yeah diz, there's no esoterrorism going on as much as you've just been out of a lot of loops lately. i can catch you up off blog if you want.
LC - Go ahead and keep on walking away from your almost nuked food...cause that's how it will stay...almost nuked...but that won't really bother me unless you don't put an f'ing cover over your shit!! :)
I'm not saying that you have to hover over your shit, but if you're not there to tend to it, then you cede any credibility in bitching about it.
You got your shit in the microwave and Dude rolls in and hits you over the head with a chair, takes your half-warmed shit out, and puts his shit in? You got a beef.
I'm too embarassed by my lunch choice today to share it.
La Choi is my new nemesis. i will begin plotting her downfall forthwith
I've been rethinking the microwave thing & I've decided it doesn't actually qualify as a pet peeve. Mostly b/c I'll just take it out & be like 'oh well, sucks for them if it's not warm enough.'
And personally, I don't like my stuff out of the microwave completely hot. I like it hot hot hot on the sides & only warm in the middle so I can mix it up & then eat it immediately & not have a cool-down time. So it's not like I would want anyone putting more time on my food, either. Which reminds me of a time I had pizza & had stuck it in the toaster oven (b/c I hate nuked pizza) & I went in like 20 minutes & some asshole has turned it off!! What the fuck was that about?? So I had to wait another 20 minutes for it to heat up! And, no, it's not like the toaster oven was full of crumbs & smoking. Fuckers! I wouldn't say that qualifies as a pet peeve either, b/c a) it's only happened once & b) it's really a major asshole move, so if it were to happen a lot, it would be WAY bigger than a pet peeve.
I had a friend who named her dog 'Peeve'.
Aw, c'mon EQ, what was it? If you can't tell OWFLers WFL, then what are you doing here?!?!
Actually, you know what one of the things that annoys me the most is? The phrase "pet peeve." I hate it. I hate it when people use it, and I hate it when people use it to ask me what mine is, and I hate using it to answer their question. I even hated typing it there. That made me mad.
You know what really grinds my gears? I hate demanding vendors.
- Hey, why don't we try it this way?
- Actually, I think we really should do it this way.
- Well, it's just that this way takes less time to set up and makes it much easier to do the rest of the things we need to do.
- Yeah, well, I like the way I do it better than the way you do it.
- Hmm. That's fantastic. And, if YOU were paying ME, then maybe I would give a flying ratfuck about what's easier for you. See you next week.
And, you know what else I hate? Pants. Pants are such bullshit.
And, lt, since you asked, you know what I don't hate? Crab coins.
So much so, that I think I'm going to base tomorrow's post on it, and I don't want to blow my wad here today.
Jo, LC, et al - PeeP and his crotch told me to do it.
I was simply following instructions handed down by my .. uuuh crotch coordinator.
and I spelled their wrong ... phuk me too
Nah, mamon - I'm over the asshole thing. But, I know this one chick...
It's only the ranting, and the artful use of the word "masticate" that got me going there.
I'll leave the Type A pricks to the other "ladies."
Is it bad that I really want another burger...
I want a burger too.
WD, you do acknowledge that theft of food items from office fridge is an asshole move, though?
I'm a big fan of the little notes. B/c I am non-confrontational. Also I am scared of getting into a girlfight. My personal best was the time I put a note in the bathroom in college saying 'rinse out the damn sink of your spit-out toothpaste'. It was so gross! People are assholes! Hey, maybe I'll put a note up about people's cooler lunchboxes taking up all the space. Oooh, I could do it in the morning so they'd open their lunch like "Aw, my sweet wife/husband wrote me a love note" & then they'd open it & it would be the total opposite of a love note!! I am an evil genius!
Why is there the overpowering smell of peanut butter suddenly?
I thought this audience would enjoy the following:
http://www.salon.com/mwt/food/eat_drink/2006/10/10/worst_meals/index.html
Great link, GG. A little nauseating, but a good read! Hm, WD, has Mrs. WD ever told you about this "national dish"?
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