Lunch screw ups happen to everyone. Some of them are induced by others and some of them are just plain old self-induced.Lactose intolerant? You know you shouldn't eat that creamy cheesy dish .. but you did anyway.
Drinking a soda and everyone is in a good mood that day? You shouldn't have started drinking when the other person was telling that joke. Ouch, it burns like battery acid in your nose.
Shouldn't have ordered that damn red sauce dish with your new white shirt .. you know you have big tits. You knew a drop or two were bound to be caught.
We all do it, I have been taken to lunch by the boss and got a beer .... when the boss was a titotaller. Good thing I didn't spend that long in that job. I hated it.
So even though everthing has a purpose and everything has it place. Don'tcha wish sometimes it wasn't you spewing coke out of your nose in front of the cute girl/guy and the table?
Its a good day to laugh at yourself and tell us WFL? ... and uh WCOOYN?
19 comments:
my lunch screw up is eating something at the office with too many onions and then having a date with someone. if i have gum on hand, it's all good. if i don't, it's totally embarassing.
WCOOYN? once, i had wasabi come out of it...and that was SO PAINFUL!
not sure WFL today. i feel like i've been consuming unhealthily for the past few days. and though guilt is setting in slowly, i wish i could have indian buffet. i'm craving indian. anyone want to come with?
Nothing has come out of or gone into my nose in a very long time.
I got hungry early and went to Cap Grounds for a salami and liverwurst hoagie with a side of chicken salad. Enjoying it now.
Most of my lunch screw ups involve post lunch BM issues. Though I do remember once going to the bathroom during a lunch with the senior staff at my old company and getting sprayed with water from a faulty sink. I returned to the table with wet pants. not cool.
i rarely detour foods into my nose but ive somehow got some wayward pieces of rice up there at different points in mylife... hardly a pleasant experience but i guess if i need a place to hide diamonds while crossing the african desert i'll be fine..
my father used to swear by snorting saltwater in order to fight colds... its kinda backwards from wcooyn but still sounds horribly painful... i never would do it..
lunch today was that dreaded chicken "quesadilla" from downstairs... i was rather hungry so it tasted slightly better but for some reason (popular demand?) they thought the addition of sand would really bring out its "south of the border feel".. either that or the neglected washing any of the ingredients..
i reallly reallllly wanna go home.
I was once eating a late dinner with a then-girlfriend and some other friends, and had some scalloped potatos. A few minutes after I had cleared my plate I wiped my face with my napkin, and noticed I had a silver-dollar sized chunk of potato on my face.
I guess it was on the other cheek so the GF couldn't see, and the "friends" neglected to mention the huge tater on my face.
Hmmmmm. Taterrrrrssss....
Mmmmm . . . I just ate my other 1/2 club sandwich from yesterday. It was just as yummy as yesterday - maybe a little better, even b/c the bread was a little too soft yesterday. Today it was the perfect texture! Yum. Although the bacon had gotten a little softer. Ah well. Trade-offs.
I can't think of the last time I shot something out of my nose at lunch (or any other meal for that matter). Ouch. Hurts just thinking about it. God, LaChoi, I can't even imagine wasabi up my nose. Once I was eating some ground beef for tacos my mom had made (and thank GOD she hadn't put chili pepper on it or anything) & it went down my windpipe so I started coughing & went it came back up, it bypassed my mouth & went up my nose. So I had to sort of snort to get it back out & it went straight down my windpipe - and back & forth & back & forth. It was like some evil painful game of ping-pong.
I spill stuff on myself all the time. It's almost a given. Especially when I'm wearing white. At a wedding I spilled some sauce right on my boob - before the wedding even happened (they had a cocktail hour/passed hors d'eouvres before the ceremony). So I got really drunk so I didn't care about the spot on my boob anymore.
lunch screwups i have thousands.. i'm a rather poor dater-i'm pretty happy it was never a sport with scoring.. i'll leave them one by one as they come to me..
1) Brought a militant vegetarian to a steakhouse. She ate lettuce and shredded carrots. I spilled steak blood on her.
I've had experiences where I sneezed with a full mouthful, and large chunks of whatever I was eating came out the nose.
One such incidence recently involved a chunk o broccoli.. But I was at my desk so only I saw it.
I really like it when Jo says BM.
2) Dinner at fancy Italian place to be followed by a night of frolicing in public places. 1.41 minutes into the meal i spill salad dressing on my crotch. its mostly oil and thus never "dries".. public frolicing with peepee crotch ensues
Ultimo Dragon always getting blood on unitard during lunch. Sometimes his own, sometimes somebody else', but always the blood.
Dragon has cousin who takes spagetti and he snorts the noodle til it goes hlafdown his throat then he does this thing and he halfpukes up the end of the noodle. then he have noodle in nose connected to noodle coming out mouth. Ultimo Dragon make him laugh the one time. he goes to hospital and we no see the trick in years. always the lil' Dragons asking at reunion, 'where is Primo Eduardo, will he do the trick this year?' but he never do. i Think face broken on inside or something.
DAMN YOU BLOGGER!!!!
I just wrote a long Mark Foley related post about BM that linked to this movie.
"Mommy there's blood in my bm..."
The most troubling experience I've ever had with something coming out of my nose happened shortly after I had my tonsils and adenoids out. (Isn't this the second time my tonsillectomy has come up in the last week?) I got home from the hospital, got in to my bed at home, picked up a glass of water, and started drinking it fast because it hurt so much to swallow that I didn't want to drag it out. Everything was cool until the water started flowing right out of my nose.
"Holy fuck! I don't know how to swallow!"
Apparently, when they took a couple of pounds of glands out of my throat, it screwed up my swallowing pattern. It took me a couple of weeks before my throat straightened itself out. Until it did, though, I had a pretty cool party trick.
Most of the lunch screw-ups that jump to mind revolve around road trips. Why did you grab drive-thru from Taco Bell when you're going to be on the road for another 400 miles? What's wrong with you? And, I'm a stubborn long-distance driver. I've very nearly shit myself a couple of times because of such lapses in judgement.
For lunch today, I'm having leftover combination lo mein. Still from Sunday. Not a new batch. I'm washing it down with a cranberry juice and the last few pages of The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay.
M, I've heard of that cold cure before. I think in the olden days they had a special nose irrigator thing that looked like an ear horn. It was a good idea to hire an attractive woman in the ad for this.
Back when I had bangs my parents had taken me out to this fancy restaurant for lunch & for dessert I got crepes with cherries. The cherries were really sour. And my bangs were in my eyes, so I blew up at them & a bunch of spit just magically appeared in my mouth from the sour cherries, so I spit all over my face. Lucky I was in 6th grade so I didn't really care.
When I worked for the guv'mint (summer employee) a bunch of us would eat together & this one girl was in love with this guy & she had gotten the stromboli & when she was trying to cut it with those flimsy plastic utensils, she totally sprayed him (and his clean white shirt) with tomato sauce. Amazingly enough, she didn't hit the tie at all. Man, poor guy!
lt was a page.
mark foley didn't like her.
HAHAHAHAHA! I just now read M's last comment correctly. I couldn't figure out what the hell you were talking about "It was a page"?? It? What?? Did I miss something??
It's all true. I turned to him after I was rejected by James McGreevey. Let down by defective gaydar again.
Dear blogger,
I hope the recent developments that involve some of our little community do not disturb your utopian environment.
Regards,
Lady A
I had a turkey sandwich for lunch...and nothing exited through my nasal passages.
Molly McFry in 2nd grade would eat the shit out of her boogers. She obviously relished them, and perhaps secretly hoped for colds and allergies to increase her supply.
Does that count as food coming out of your nose?
No, Uni, I think all is finally right in our little community.
Lunch was saltines and a drumstick.
A burger would have been nice...
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