Yes you.
I don't care what you look like, who you screw, what idiot you vote for, how you decide to worship, or even if you choose not to worship anything at all.
THE CZAR LOVES YOU.
Ok, maybe love is a strong term, let's just say I'm with ya. I get it. It's cool. Free to be you and me and all that. You and me are copacetic.
So forgive me if today's topic offends you.
Pork.
I love the stuff.
You can try and tell me that it "roots in and eats it's own shit" I promise you it won't sway me.
Share some some old rules that mattered back before refrigeration and I still won't be convinced.
Trichinosis?
Bah humbug.
Pork is great.
Wonderful.
Amazing.
Delicious.
Man's best friend even.
Just take a gander at a few of the magical things you can do with it...
Ribs...
Sausages...
Pulled...
Center cut chop...
Scrapple...
Roast on a spit...
Ham & Cheese...
Double Cooked...
And His majesty Bacon...
And yes I know it starts out looking like this:
But it is even cuter in our bellies.
So today we reflect on the noble Pig.
If you don't eat it, as I said before, I respect you, love you even, and invite you to share with us your reason for depriving yourself of it's deliciousness.
Do you ever cheat?
If so, when?
And how would you eat it if you could?
As for the rest you happy pig eating fools, How do you like your swine?
While you're at it maybe share some of the more novel ways you have eaten "the other white meat" in the past.
And, of course, all of you better tell us, WFL?
49 comments:
damn you... now i have to search this god forsaken building for bacon...
Please don't make me pick a favorite...I just don't think it would be possible!
I think I should order a pizza with sausage, ham and bacon in honor of Jo's post.
Wow, I was just enjoying my bacon sammie when I signed in this morning. Kudos Czar. A worthy topic.
I like my swine eaten, that about does it... wait,
Ammendment #1 to above statement. No pickled pigs feet
Scrapple has perhaps one of the least apealing list of ingrediants on any edible product, but I love it the most. I might even say it is my favorite way to eat the noble hog. (Don't tell Bacon, Ham, or the chops that. I have had affairs with each of them where I told them that they were THE one)
As for my favorite way to prepare pig meat, I got to go with fire pork.
Any of you who went on the camping / Tubing trip where Watchdog and I (more WD) got so wasted on the river that the facility no longer allows alcohol on their premises, may remember my fire pork.
Basically, you build up a hot, wood fire. No paper, or lighter fluid or firestarters, or anything else can go in the fire, it must be built with respect and care and wood, nothing else. Once the fire is built up and has burned down to coals, you take a pork chop cutlet that has marinated in whatever you want, or you can just get them little piggies right out of the butcher's pak and you throw them in the bed of coals. When I did this, people looked at me like I was an idiot. Why are you throwing away those chops? They say. I'll cook that if you don't want it. they say. You suck at cooking they say. But little do they know that this is one of the ways that man has been cooking meat since the days of Yore that EQ addressed yesterday. You know the fire pork is done when the coals no longer stick to it. It comes out of the fire crispy and sterile, so I don't want a bunch of babies saying, but there's dirt in the fire ring.
Fire pork is great because, just like the perfect tater tot, it is crispy and crackly on the outside and juicy on the inside. It should be eaten with a sharpened stick jammed through the middle of it and enjoyed like a meat lolipop of sorts.
Oh and of course, one staple of my online life is a daily check to
www.ilovebacon.com
Side note: My temp contract was just renewed cuz I'm a bad ass at menial officin', bitchez. I'll be working on the same block as Lady Sunshine for another week.
Holodets is your gods gift to your digesting track.
You may know it as
Mixed Meat Jelly
I should've put up the picture from that BBQ joint in Chicago.
BBQ rib tips and links.
They give you the "itis" afterwards.
I love the "itis".
Bravo, czar, good topic. And wow, Miso, if I ever met a guy whose B.O. smelled like bacon cooking, I would take him home immediately. Or to a sandwich shop.
I love almost all pig. I've never had scrapple, though. Or pickled pigs feet, since sunshine brough tit up. I'm afraid of both of those. And I love the movie Babe. He doesn't get eaten in the end, though, so it's ok. That'll do, piggie. That'll do.
I can't think of any especially novel ways I've had of eating pig. Except that when I go to a buffet-style brunch, I tend to eat probably a pound of it, a little at a time. Round 3? A few more slices of bacon? Why not?? One of my favorites is probably proscuitto wrapped figs cooked on the grill. Mmmmm.
I want that for lunch now. But since I doubt I could find that around here, dunno what I'll have. Maybe I'll get a gyro. Hm, except that's lamb. Hm. I'll have to think about this . . . . as usual.
Do you mean you won't eat meat from any animal?
What about bacon? No
How about pork chops? No
What about ham?
Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Sure Lisa, a "magical" animal.
Nuff said. It is magic, and like the cannibals, if you eat it you just might capture its mojo
did anyone else read that jo "loves the tits"?
yeah. just me, huh?
anyway. Pig is one of the most tasty meats ever and i say a little prayer to the flying bacon monster every night.
the only other pig based food that comes close is pulled pork... mmm.. dinosaur barbecue has this one that they cook for something like 14 weeks.. i imagine that cook's BO smells like pork.. i'll get him in contact with you LT...
beyond that i have little fondness for the cloven foot's meat... ham has it's moments on holidays but it is useless as a sandwich meat and i have yet to have pork chops that made me salivate any more than a cow product...
regardless, i would kill every one of you if you were between me and bacon (well, i would attempt to, but i am sure it would end poorly for our hero)
Dang Watchdog. I was fixin' to put that little exchange up.
Well done.
Wether Josephus said it or not. "I love the tits" is a statement I can get behind.
In fact I run in the Race for the cure every year just so I can exclaim my love for titties in polite conversation.
MMM.. Titties.
I once had a trivia persuit question along the lines of
What did old timey loggers call their morning concoction of coffee grounds mixed in with bacon grease on toast?
It was like Go juice, or ants on a log, or some funny thing, but the point is; This delicasy existed and it had a name.
I loves me some pig action of all sorts, but thinking about the bacon grease reminds me ( and Watchdog can back me up here) of the Choc full o Nuts can at the Newton House that the Pinger always puts the bacon, sausage or any other fat drippings in to save for later.
Not sure what he plans to do with it all, probably build a canoe or wax his snowshows or something.
And I understand that it is better to put it in a can than to let it go down the drain, but dang homie; Dont leave that gross ass can of congealed fat right next to the real chock full o nuts on the counter.
More than once I got a little barfy when I went to make a cup of Joe and grabbed the wrong can.
an interesting anecdote, or is it antidote? Anyway, a friend of mine told me her great-uncle was in WW II and somehow was marooned on an island in the pacific where there were cannibalistic natives. He was sort of allowed to stay as a guest, and he was offered human meat, knowing if he didn't eat it he could be the next course, he tried it.
Tastes like pork he said...
apparently not everything tastes like chicken
That's Pingers retirement grease
I also heard, and told as recently as last night, that the most savory cut of man meat (is not the wiener) is the fleshy part between the thumb and pointer figner on the non-dominant hand.
It seems that the tribal leader for canibals gets to take the first bite of a victim, or rather main course, and that is the bite reserved for royalty.
TGINL am I right?
Thank Goodness It's Not Lent that is, I can go out and get some form of swine for lunch on this Lovely Friday.
Normally, I love the pigs. But I've caught a nasty stomach flu, and the Czar's meat-tastic glamour shots nearly sent me running to the bathroom. Thanks.
For lunch today? Jello, which I believe is made of pig hooves, among other disgusting substances. But it's soothing.
Ha! i got an engineer to get off his fat lazy ass:
Blogger Problem
This server is currently experiencing a problem. An engineer has been notified and will investigate.
Status code: 1-500-35
goJuice/antsOnALog: this sunday. you are all invited
mikey: i've heard that thing about the hand too... weird
human meat: is it a made up thing in my little head or is it often referred to as "Long Pork" or is it something i read in a novel and thought i learned on the discovery channel
wfl: lamb gyro! im amped.. i konw its pig day but i LOVE gyros... the only problem is that damn aluminum foil its wrapped in.. someone is goign to have shiney dookie tonight..
M. I have learned that you can peel that foil back to reveal the food inside. You don't have to eat it.
I'm thinking maybe some Ham something from High Noon today.
I have proven myself a reliable temp and they no longer check in on my progress with this stack of busy work, which is stupid of them because I have just spent the last 3 hours f'ing around. I am not to be trusted with any ammount of responsibility. (you'll note how full and complete my section of the blog is pertaining to special events)
So with my freedom, I may take my PSP and continue my simulation of the Notre Dame vs. Navy game that I am going to see next Saturday.
I hope it goes better in real life since ND is down 20 - 6 in the third quarter.
I'm off to pick up my lunches from Cap Grounds.
A liverwurst and salami sub for lunch, and a BALT for late lunch.
I love pigs!
Despite the fact that ham is traditionally the most sinful meat, I think it is only because it is the most delightful. I find scrapple appaling in theory, and my childhood horror at all things pickled jumps up like a firecracker at the mention of pickled pig feet (although I've grown to love many of the products of the pickling process).
I would be willing to suspend my moratorium on scrapple, however, to serve a lunch of "Scrapple and Snapple" to a close circle of friends on the day before or after my wedding.
I love love love pork. I am in Denver right now working with 120 ninth-graders, so I had two large pork sausage links and three slices of bacon among my breakfast items this morning because I'm living high on the hog in catering paid by someone else.
As such, I am going to have a kickass Italian-themed lunch as well. According to my Banquet Event Order, I will be having Caesar Salad with appropriate accompaniments, Baked Cheese Lasagna, Tri Colored Tortellini with Alfredo Sauce, Garlic Bread and Breadsticks, Chef's Choice of Vegetables, Assorted Pies and Tortes, and a Beverage Station to Include: Lemonade, Iced Tea and Water, Please Have Coffee Available for the Staff.
Take that, bitches!
I like bacon. But pork chops and pork loin are my favorite pig bits. Oh, and sweet delicious ribs. mmmmm... ribs. Actually ribs may beat out the other two.
I hate ham, though. Though, I like all sorts of ham-like luncheon meats, just not actual ham.
I had cold fried chicken for brunch this morning. Eh. I made it the other day, but got waylayed from eating it by pizza two nights in a row. I do not make the best fried chicken, but it's not bad.
I think it's nap time soon. I have some shit I really need to do, and cleaning the sty that I call home is at the top of that list, but I'm feeling a snooze coming on. I plan to spend this evening and the rest of this weekend on a cleaning binge though.
Fuckity fucking fucker blogger. Erasing my comments. To sum up what Blogger Did Not Want You To Know: I had a ham & cheese 6 incher from Subway, which we went to b/c a guy in my office forwarded an internet coupon which they then said they don't accept. Grr. So instead of free sandwich (it was buy one - get one free & this guy was buying today so I could get the free one & next week was to be vice versa), I had to pay $3.48. And all I could taste were the mounds of hot peppers & jalapenos I asked for. And vinegar. Couldn't really taste the ham. Oh well.
Now I'm eating a pomegranet & I'm sure some of the juice will unfortunately end up on my white shirt. Why do I wear white.
illusion or purity?
Because you're a virgin LT!!!
giggle giggle!
Braunscweiger, salami, lto, mayo and sweet peppers...DELICIOUS.
harvest cheddar sun chips and a cranberry lemonade.
LT - that might have been me. Blogger posted my comment no less than 4 times, so I may have accidentally deleted yours when I was deleting all of mine.
I repeat - blogger must die.
Ok, it sent me to that page again, but this time it posted.
Dear Blogger,
You are dead to me. Zip it.
Er, once www.owfl.com is fully online.
-LT
Google is trying to make an enemy of me. First with Blogger's antics, and then they acquired YouTube - which you all know I hate.
My message to Google - sleep with one eye open.
Pig.
Hog.
Swine.
Pork.
Why so many names for the same thing?
Because it is bigger than one word can contain...
I have given it some thought. I think I prefer sausage to bacon, in most instances. I love tubular meats.
I for one will not allow Blogger to get me down. It's Friday, It's nice(ish) outside, Hogs are the topic of the day , and nobody really needs to hear what I have to say ever anyway.
In fact, instead of hating on Blogger, I will thank it for bringing us together in the first place.
There!! It fucking did it again!!! I quote myself:
"Oh, Blogger, why do we always hurt the ones we love the most? That's how I feel about you right now. I try and post something that may be insightful, may be boring, may be ultimately inconsequential & completely off-topic. But sometimes you will allow this posting and sometimes you won't. Why? Why sometimes and not others? Why must you play hot and cold with me? Stop being such a tease and give it up. You know you like it. Oh, uh, sorry. Flashed back on my high school boyfriend for a second."
PeeP only shops at Hipster Foods, Inc. There, they only stock PBR and smokes.
But, they have the coolest Muzak in town.
I was going to do a Potbelly’s meatball sandwich with bacon, in honor of this post, but then I heard that the Baja Fresh next door lost their lease and is closing on Sunday, so I went in for one last char-grilled chipotle-glazed chicken salad. Next week I'll get that sandwich.
I’m off to Ann Arbor tomorrow for the Iowa @ Michigan game. This means two things:
1) Zingermans
2) Krazy Jim’s Blimpy Burger
Has anyone had a blimpy burger? If you’re ever in Ann Arbor and you’ve got time for two meals (because Zingerman’s is #1) you gotta get there.
http://arborwiki.org/city/Blimpy_Burger
me love blimpy burgers!
only good thing about AA.
Funny you should say that, peeP. I'm going with C-mania.
PeeP only shops at Hipster Foods, Inc. There, they only stock PBR and smokes.
But, they have the coolest Muzak in town.
Wow Dipso! WOW!
So, for those of you who know the Sodomizer, he dry humped C-Mania over the back of a couch a few years back and now C-Mania is ghey..errr..gay. The Sodomizer has special powers.
Have fun der Dipso...(loud techno music follows)
PeeP only shops at Hipster Foods, Inc. There, they only stock PBR and smokes.
But, they have the coolest Muzak in town.
Dip, oddly I've never been to Blimpie's even though I lived in Ann Arbor for 8 years. But Zingermans...damn
hey all! i heart pork...so much. my saying as you all know is "all swine all the time". if there's a bacon option, i say "yes please!" if i have to choose between a pork chop or chicken, i'll say "pork chop por favor".
my favorite form is a toss between a nice pork chop smothered in grilled onions and some kind of delicious marinade or bacon. i sure love bacon.
oooh, and spicy pork bul go gi....i bet you haven't had that before. koreans kick pork into another tasty dimension.
today, i had a chix sandwich b/c i didn't read the blog until now.
im at home today. i had a personal thing today and took the day off. im happily snuggling with devil cat in my robe. life is good.
Safeway has problems this is true, but they also have great shopping carts.
They do not have that one wheel that spins and turns all on it's own. This allows them to go fast in a straight line. have you ever stood on the bar at the back and pushed off with the other leg. It is like skateboarding... a little.
in fact if INS comes to Mitch house and says you have to go to skate park and score in top 10% of possible points on the street course. You can stay in US&A... But you have to use shopping cart.
ILL Mitch would go past Albertsons, Kash N Kary, Meijer, price choppers, Shoppers, Target, Walmart and the Big K, and straight to Safeway.
Then Hopefully skateboarding skill will work with shopping cart. I will pull mad Rim Jobs, and get to stay in US&A
Had the rest of the old baloney today. That might have pig meet in it
Catch ILL Mitch rapping at the Ranch party on Miller tonite. They said 3 kegs and tonnes of people to be there.
Mitch gets to have beer free and all the lady fans I want.
I know ranch partys are for high school kids, but sometimes older people show up.
ILL have them saying 'Turn it up!' to my raps.
Is Krazy Jim's Blimpy Burger associated with Blimpies? Not that I've been to either.
It's 5 past 5 on Friday. Why am I still here.
oooh ive had that spicy pork bul go gi.. ive also had this thing that is like uncured thick bacon slices that you grill yourself and dip in a sesame oil and salt and pepper dip. its wunderbar
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