i have absolutely no idea how to start a post on this site - so if this doesn't end up on the main page just disregard.
yesterday i shared my disdain for friends who leave messages on my work voicemail. that is my number one pet peeve. this is closely followed by 1- friends who leave messages on my cell phone voicemail that say nothing of importance - or even worse: say A LOT (about 500 words) of nothing important. and 2 - people who hit the floor below yours after you've held the elevator for them.
to start this hump day off right i thought we could all get our blood flowing the old fashion way: adrenaline. so put that cup of coffee down, share your pet peeves, and get your rage on.
oh, and after that tell me wfl to calm to you down.
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102 comments:
It's one of the oldest pet peeves in the world, but I experience it and relive my anger EVERY DAY.
Listen people, let people exit before you enter. On the bus, train, elevator, doorways, frankly just about in any situation imaginable Exit trumps Enter.
Thank you.
And I actually like Ira Glass. This American Life is good shit.
Don't get me wrong Jo. I'm just pissed I have to pay for episodes that I missed.
Stand to the fucking right on an escalator. Turn signal non-use. Those are pretty standard, I bet.
Oh, I'm definitely sick now. I have no business being up and about.
mmmmm juice podcast ... even the name is good 'cause I like juice ... that isn't a rant though is it?
Oh, and I think I'm going back to Ada's for more soup.
I understand now diz.
Can't you stream them for free?
I haven't decided on lunch yet.
Something poultryish.
What's wrong dipitydoodah?
Ira Glass is the host of This American Life. A weekly program on NPR. It's where Sedaris, Sarah Vowell and others like them got their "big break".
I guess.
pet peeves...i know i have a lot of them, but i can't think of one in particular at this moment. my morning was actually pretty calm.
also, potbelly has breakfast?!?!?!
i just discovered this on my walk to work. perhaps i'm just dense and never really knew. but yes, they serve breakfast, and i had to get some: bacon, egg, swiss cheese, mustard and tomato. one word, two syllables: dee-lish.
now i know that potbelly's is the best goddam sandwich place on the planet. there in their first stages of lunch domination.
ooh, i forgot the best part of my breakfast sandwich: EGGS!
I have to agree with Dipso on the escalator rules: Stand on the Right, walk on the left. Same with sidewalks, walk on the right, follow the basic driving rules of this country. I also hate it when people have to walk in a group down the sidewalk and take up the whole fucking thing. There are other people in this world.
As a smoke and a parent, and for the record I never smoke around Ace, I really get upset with how some smokers handle their cigarettes. My child is 5 and just about at face level with the hand and cigarette of most standing smokers. If you are walking down the street and smoking be mindful of where your cigarette is when you have your hand by your side. I have seen numerous people almost burn Ace. I am not a violent or rageful person by nature but if someone even unintentionally burned or hurt Ace I would fucking take them down.
People who think their backpack or bags deserve a seat on a crowded train or bus rather than a person. I also shouldn't have to ask you to move your shit, you should realize that people take presidence over Marshall Field's bags.
When I am standing in front of the door on the el awaiting my stop, do not try to manuever in front of me. I am getting off to you fool, and the extra foot and a half is not going to make that big of a difference in getting you to work on time.
And for gods sake do your fucking makeup and hair grooming at home and not on the train or bus.
DO NOT leave your grocery cart in the middle of the aisle, or alternatively stop yur cart so it is perfectly aligned with someone else on the other side obstructing the entire aisle. I will flat out smash into your cart.
I am so PISSED that Ira Glass is leaving Chicago. Liz Phair, Tucker Max, Ira Glass all the cool independent artists are leaving my fair city. We still have Billy Corrigan I guess, but Ira is a big loss.
La Choi, I haven't heard you talk about the fat kid special recently. Have you given them up?
"Liz Phair, Tucker Max, Ira Glass..."
Wow.
I guess Chicago really is going to shit.
Ahem.
I need details on this window jumper in NYC, please.
Jade that was by far my favorite "Fuck you Jo!" so far this year. Thank you.
Getting hungry...the bufett at Soho is calling me...need to hold out for just a bit longer.
My biggest pet peeve is people who drive slow in the fast lane. Get the fuck out of my way people, its not even the "fast" lane, its the "passing" lane. If you're not passing someone then M O V E !!!
Why is that no one ever gets ticketed for this, and no one seems to understand that this is a law?
Other pet peeve, people who say "can I ask you a question?". Yes, you can ask one, but that IS a question asshole, now you used it up, NEXT!!
Lunch today is at the market to market in China town. Good shit. The hard part is keeping the weight on the plate down, so you don't end up paying $10, but the shit is GOOD.
notwitty that's a tough pet peeve to top.
yikes Notwitty! That had to be really disturbing. And a definite pet peeve.
Yikes, notwitty. That is bad, bad, bad. How far away were you? Because yesterday could have been your one and only day with us on the blog, and that would have sucked. Did you get an up close and personal look? Sorry, I have morbid and grisly curiousity about things like this.
Chicago WFLers, can we do barleycorn early tomorrow? I'm thinking 11:30.
I am way too hungry right now at 10:42.
So I've been doing this lame-o accounting job in a medical office for awhile now...pet peeve of mine...KNOW YOUR F'ING INSURANCE INFO people! This is important stuff...health coverage...something you may want to have an idea of what the hell it's all about before walking into a doctors office or hospital. I'm not saying know the complete ins and outs of it, but at least have an idea if it's an HMO or PPO, what your deductible is..oh and if your deductible is over $1,000 get a new plan!
Jo and Jade I'm totally with you guys on public trans. etiquette...exitors go first enterers second...and don't just stand in the doorway while people try and get out...move to the side! One thing that drives me crazy is that if I'm sitting in the inside seat and need to get off and the person sitting next to me on the aisle side doesn't stand up..they just shift their legs a bit...fine you want my ass in your face...I want to blow some serious gas in it then!
On the cell phone tip...I haven't been to a movie lately where someone doesn't wind up talking on their cell during the movie...what is up with that?? That's beyond just forgetting to turn it off. Stupid fuckos.
I'll be doing a caesar salad today.
I am very intrigues by notwitty's ordeal, but technically I don't think it counts as a pet peeve. It would more accurately be classified as a traumatic event. pet peeves are those ordinary every day events that every one gets confronted with that don't really cause you immediate danger or harm but just make your blood pressure rise. Sorry to be a semantics bitch, but I'm right.
It is definitely me, Rico, and Dipso. Peep should come! And if we want to make things unnecessarily uncomfortable but possibly very entertaining, he could bring his coworker. I have to figure out where this place is and how to best get there. Rico, do you know the closest el stop to Barleycorns?
People who don't pick up their dog poop...I know that it's "just poop" to some...and natural and it will decompose blah blah blah...but it's gross..especially if you live in the city where most dogs just crap on the sidewalk.
I second e-que on tourists.
On the weekends in DC 99% of the cars have out of state (district) tags, and none of them know where they're going.
And another pet peeve I have TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION!
corkboard?
My eyes were bigger than my stomach at Soho.
I have a big salad with dressing sitting in the office fridge now.
Got more matzo ball from Ada’s. Also got a small sweet and sour cabbage, but I’ll have that later in the afternoon. Then I should be very pleasant to be around.
The way things are going, I think that I might call in sick tomorrow. I don’t think this will have affect lunch plans, though (unless this turns out to be the flu). That way I’ll be able to sleep in, which is probably all I need, and drive up.
Peep, last time Rico picked the place I ended up at "Cans" at about 11 p.m. on a Friday night. I know what you're wondering. YES! They do have beer in cans there. I wondered that, too. Very popular. (Raised an IC or two to you, HT.)
Oh, abs, it gets worse. I just got off the phone with the dickhead & he's all condescending & like "That's not in the work order, I'm doing you a favour. I told you I would call you back." Jackass! And seriously, what the fuck, did they think they would take the furniture out & it would just hop back in of its own accord?? God, I'm furious. And I almost bit off my tongue trying not say something snide like "Well, you don't have a very good track record of calling me back. And I wonder if you even know how to work a phone, seeing as how you claimed you called me yesterday & kept getting a disconnected number." Fucker!
As for pet peeves, people have hit most of the big ones - stand on the right on escalators, exit before entering (an addendum to that one - you're being nice & correct & standing to the side to allow people to exit & some self-important jackass walks right past you & pushes through the exiting people. Someday I'm going to throw my arm out & be like 'Let people exit. Whatsa matta you?'), people bringing their entire luggage collection carryon. A couple of other correlaries: people who sit in the subway/bus aisle seat with no one in the window seat & then act all annoyed that you want to sit in the empty seat. Imagine that! I've noticed lately, there seem to be more of these guys who don't want to sit in their own damn seat, so you're totally squished against the window, or the arm rest in the aisle. People who wear their fucking 2-foot deep backpacks & then stand in front of you, so their backpack is directly in your face & you can't even hold up the paper. Take off the fucking backpack!! Those people deserve their wallets stolen out of them. Ooh, a big one is the person who doesn't want to sit in the middle seat of a plane & when you come & are like "Hey, that's my aisle or window seat" they ask if they can switch with you & when you say 'uh, no, there's a reason I asked for a window or aisle seat' they get all huffy, like you're the asshole.
I don't mind the cell phones at work so much (I better not - I'm waiting for the asshole contractor to call back on it), except that this one guy has a classical piece on his phone which I love, but it's this weird, crappy, syncopted, Mannheim Steamroller, type of version. Ugh. And his wife (or someone) calls him all the time. At least once a day.
Ooh, I thought of another cell phone one - people who walk around with the ear piece & when they're right behind you in the store & say like "So what are you doing after?" & you turn around & go "excuse me?" they give you this snotty look & point to their ear. Is holding a phone to your ear that f'ing tedious? God, people!
Oh, yeah. And people. People are a biiiiiig pet peeve of mine. I think I'll name my next cat Peeve.
Peep you need to come out. It would be a huge show of commitment to OWFL if you started posting and attended a scheduled outing within the same week.
I have a pet peeve with guys who say they are going to call me and don't. "Attempted text messages" don't count.
Is the salad dressing pooling about the bottom of the container, Jo?
God, Jade! Yes! I can't ever get guys to call me back!! Even guys who are being paid for it! WTF?!?!?!
It's hard LT, but when working with contractors and the like you have to be so nice. Disgustingly nice. Remember, you catch more bees with honey than vinegar.
Oh and I absolutely hate it when people give me annoyingly cloying and disgustingly simple and worthless advice when I am pissed off. Yep, just exactly what I did to Miss LT.
Pet peeve:
Cab drivers. What is up with the constant jerky stopping? Not to mention the irregular acceleration. Jerky stop, jerky go. These people drive for a living and they totally suck at it. How they don't get involved in more accidents is beyond me.
And as an occassional bike commuter, cab drivers are my natural enemy. They don't signal turns, they make wild spontaneous U-turns, and will cut you off in a second.
I second watchdog on the jerky driving. I always seem to get cab drivers who either are in full on pedal to the floor acceleration or braking. No cruising, no gentleness, no finesse. I feel like I'm going to get whiplash, but Ace loves it.
Jade, the ranch dressing has seeped through the salad and I can see it on the bottom of the clear plastic container.
Another pet peeve which both LT and watchdog kind of touched on. Poor customer service. Again I know this is an oldie but why on Earth would you take a job where you have to interact with people (cab driver, sales, any fucking job where you have to deal with clients over the phone) WHY do it if you obviously HATE PEOPLE? For example, cabbies who act like you have burned a copy of their holy book when you even hint at taking another route; Cell phone company employees who seem to take a personal offense when you tell them you have a problem or are canceling your service; every single person who works for the cable company; and of course, my favorite, fast food employees, particularly those who work at the drive through window. Yes I am surprised that you have run out of coke, cups, straws, napkins, buns, pickles, onions, and special sauce at the same time. I apologize for asking.
LT, I recently had an author write an article about the decline of proper punctuation, and she talked about her pet (cat), Peeve.
Jade, you made me laugh! Thank you!
Yes, cab drivers are evil. I wonder if they're worse in NYC than DC. I hate when you're at a stop light & they keep lifting up on the brake, so you jerk forward, stop. Jerk forward, stop. It's like, dude, the other light hasn't even turned yellow yet. Can you just keep your fucking foot on the brake?? Gah!
Ooooh, too much cologne/perfume. I think that guys are worse about this in general. And yes, I know, women can be really bad about it, too, but maybe men's cologne is just more pungent (sp?). I got on the elevator a couple days ago & the ghost of some guy was still there. On a related note: in my 7th grade science class we had this really cute new Swedish guy who was sitting at my table (4 per). So to try to make myself sexy (always a losing battle when you're 12) I spritzed myself (in the middle of class, mind you) with some drugstore perfume I was wearing at the time. Yes, I carted it around in my ginormous purple purse with me. I think it was like Jovan or something (can I get a 'hell yeah' from the ladies??). So his eyes start watering & he's coughing & he's having trouble breathing & it becomes blatantly obvious that he is allergic to my perfume, and also that he was really embarrassed about his not being able to breathe. So my teacher moved him to another table. I was mortified, although b/c he was embarrassed about it, I don't think anyone besides him really ever knew why he suddenly had an attack. Moral of the story: Swedes are allergic to fancy perfume. Do not date them.
Damn! She beat me to it! (Cat named Peeve, I mean). That is awesome, though.
Yes, Jo, customer "service", indeed.
Hello, Angels.
I love reading about everyone's pet peeves. As I hate pretty much everyone, all of the time, all of yours comprise only the tip of the iceberg of mine. I don't "do" public transpo so much, but yinz guys covered the peeves I have on that front, though I could add: talking too loud, unruly children, fat people taking up more than one seat, people who leave their backpacks on their backs and seem to forget they're packing an extra foot behind them, so when they swing around, they're taking out everyone around them, seemingly nice looking religious freaks who attempt to engage you in conversation, greasy residue left on the windows after someone rested their greasy hair/head there, people who read the newspaper opened up fully, bus drivers who drive like they're driving a ferrari rather than a metro bus, metro conductors who stop short, panhandlers on the metro who think because you're stuck you have to give them money (this applies to panhandlers who attempt to bilk me out of my hard earned coin when I'm dining outdoors on a sidewalk or such, and am pretty much a captive audience), marauding groups of teenagers anywhere, tourists everywhere, (I'm moving outside of public transportation now)... people who insist on eating tuna in a public place (this is very near the top of my list), sick people who come to work and infect the rest of us and act like they're so fucking heroic...
Actually, I'm not going to continue. Instead, I'll relay an anecdote from the life and times of HaterTot. Once last summer I was having dinner with a friend, who at the time, was a relatively new friend. I took one look at some asshole in an ice blue polo, popped collar, pre-worn jeans and flip flops, talking overly loud on his cell and trying to impress the trying-WAY-too-hard girl he was with with his dodgey-at-best knowledge of wine. I declared, "Ugh. I hate that guy." My dining companion laughed and asked how I could know that. I explained that everywhere I go, all the time, I judge every person that I come in contact with - immediately. I pass hundreds of people on the street and for every one of them, I assess in that split second, whether or not I hate them. And, guess what? I hate roughly 98.6% of all people. It could be the white shoes after labor day. It could be the military haircut. It could be the man wearing a pinkie ring. It could be the fat girl in the hot pink trenchcoat thinking she looks cute, when in fact she looks like a giant, round, raspberry Zinger. It could be any one of billions of things. I'm a hater, people. It's in my blood. Oh, I just remembered another good one - and this is for LaChoi and abs - I LOATHE people who don't understand that when I pass them in the hall at the office and say, "Hey, how's it going?" I DON'T ACTUALLY GIVE A FUCK. DO NOT TELL ME ABOUT HOW IT'S NOT ACTUALLY GOING SO WELL!!! It will be going FAR worse for you if you do this to me.
Oh, and NoTwitty (this is how I prefer to shorten your name - it makes me giggle) - I used to live in Budapest, where no less than once a month I was late because some depressed Hungarian launched themselves in front of the subway. Living in a country of people genetically predisposed to suicide is a big pain in the ass.
Also, is random sharp nipple pain a pet peeve? Because if it is, I've got that in spades. Motherfucker.
I'm going to watch the 2pm Magnum PI. With a cocktail. I need to calm down.
Hover? So many great things about being male, but the whole stand and pee thing has got to be right up there.
I just recently learned about the whole women pissing on the seat thing. Fascinating.
HT, if hating was an olympic sport I would want you, the bride and lizturtle on my 1st string.
I have a good feeling that peep would be a powerful force off of the bench.
I SO agree with HaterTot on the tuna. Why do people even eat that nasty, foul, rank shit. Are they not aware that it is cat food? Why not just crack open a can of fancy feast for your mid day meal?
I love it whenever HT goes on a people hating rant. I kinda live vicariously through her hate and then I feel extra special when I realize I am in her 1.4%.
Bride, you are too kind. No matter what Jo says, I always knew we were kindred. If people can't bond over their utter contempt for their fellow man, what the hell else is left?
Oh, abs - the therapist voice KILLS me! Right after my mom died, people would do that ALL THE TIME. Oh, how I could go on about how people behave at funerals. Thank God I'm a laugher rather than a crier and find it funny, but the therapist voice is a great one.
Bride, Jo tried to make me scared of you. Warning me about your hate. I tried to explain that if you hated that much, you COULDN'T be that scary. Haters are my peeps!
Oh, and my margarita is delish. And, it's acting as my lunch.
ok, i just sat and read this and man, i was busting a gut laughing at my desk. i think the other people in the office believe i've lost my mind.
i'm remembering now the pet peeves i have, and they mostly revolve around the fact that my other job is in retail.
retail sucks folks. you have to be "nice" to everyone since they may potentially buy something. plus, at my store, if you make over a certain amount of money collectively that month, you get a bonus in your paycheck. now, that is enough incentive for me.
the top 5 annoying things that people say when you work at a wine shop:
5) customer: "i really like pinot noir."
me: "you may want to try this lovely red burgundy
customer: "no i don't like red burgundies."
a red burgundy IS pinot noir, dumbass!
4) customer: "can i try some more of that chardonnay you have on the free tasting table?
me: "sorry, we can only give one taste per wine."
customer: "well, i was going to buy a bottle, but i just don't know now..."
PLEASE! this is a FREE tasting folks. if we gave you unlimited tastes, this would be more like a free fucking cocktail hour than a business, and we'd make no money.
3)customer: "do you guys have kendall-jackson?"
most of the time i feel like saying, "no, because KJ tastes like ass." but instead, i have to tell them that we specialize in wines that are lesser known and under $15 from mom and pop vineyards. they huff and walk out. fuckers. go to the corner liquor store and get your KJ with a side of yellowtail while you're at it!
2) me: "can i see your ID please?"
customer: "(exaggerated sigh) i come here all the time. don't you recognize me?"
no, i don't recognize you. maybe it's because the world doesn't revolve around you, and i see hundreds of customers every day. buy a clue buddy.
AND the number one pet peeve when working at a wine shop...
1) customer: "hey...you look EXACTLY like that girl in the movie sideways!"
just because i'm korean and i work at a wine store DOES NOT mean i look like sandra oh. please just fucking learn how to tell us asians apart. it's really not that hard.
ok .. its tough. I don't hate. I disdain and in rare cases when the people (even though they are morons) mean well, I pity.
Hate is too strong a word for me.
However, Jade, you gotta be kiddin me about Tucker as an artist. I wasn't aware fucking people and then making them feel like shit was performance art.
If so, every frat boy needs a scholarship to Juliard.
Not that I don't think the dude is funny when bad things happen to him. Its funny when people can laugh at themselves as well.
That aside, I still can't stand the fact that I have to pay for radio, TV, and soon ... Google.
hey lachoi have you ever seen gilmore girls? cuz you look just like...
"red burgundy" just sounds funny.
one of my pet peeves is when HT thinks she is instigating hate against me. it ain't that hard.
six degrees of jo!
Yeah LC, but I bet I'm the only one who comes in and makes you put on my glasses so that I can point out how the only famous Asian you look like is "Lane" on the Gilmore Girls.
HT - I have. She is a mess.
She does this weird transformation after going into the bathroom.
HT -- i let you get away with that because 1) you are my friend and 2) i have no clue who this "lane" character looks like yet.
Bite me, Jo. And she DOES look like Lane... it's just none of you have had the pleasure of seeing her when she wakes up in the morning - so yinz don't know.
I just remembered a huge pet peeve of mine while taking a smoke break. When I am at a bar or just generally out and someone comes up to me to bum a smoke, I pretty much always give one up. That's fine, I don't mind sharing. But what absolutely kills me, is when I pull out my Marlboro Reds and they fucking complain about them. "Oh those are so harsh." "How can you smoke those?" "Do you have anything else?" Yes, they are harsh, I like them. Again, I smoke them because I like them. No, I don't carry a supply of cigarettes to hand out to lazy ass trixie bitches who can't buy there own. Here's an idea for you ... Go. Buy. Your. Own. Pack. And shut the fuck up while you're at it.
go diz go!
I sense some hate coming on...
jade, i used to smoke and that also would bug the shit out of me. not because i smoked reds, but because i smoked what most people smoked and so by the end of the night, i'd have no more cigarettes left. and in college, i was poor, so buying cigs was a luxury.
Oh, Bride. Dave fucking Matthews. Dear God.
I spent one summer compulsively internet dating. (oh, the stories) But, before I would go out with anyone, that was the first question I asked. Any Dave Matthews fans were right the fuck out. Oh, god how I hate them.
And, Diz - you're right. It's amazing. She goes from 9 year old to 27 year old with only 20 minutes in the bathroom. It's sort of weird though. But, I bet you've never seen after she's been trapped in an elevator for an hour. There's a LaChoi you DON'T want to see. LC - didn't they give you KJ on your comped wine and cheese plate after that? Or was it Fetzer?
OK, I hate when people rip on Tucker Max for not being an artist [ahem, he's a writer, makes you an artist in my book] but yet they've read all his stories, vistied the message board [and frequently are even a member of it] and know all about him. They say, "anyone can write those stories, I got wasted this one time ... blah, blah, blah" Fucking do it then. Not so easy, huh?
Jade, I guess that qualifies as hate, but I expected a bit more venom. You're still on the JV hate squad.
Wow, Bride I make your list in about 5 different ways. 1. I make idiotic faces in the restroom at work, tho it's usually to see if I have lunch left in my teeth. 2. I like Dave Matthews. I admit it. It's good background music & reminds me of my first year out of college, what can I say. 3. I say 'loo' instead of 'bathroom' all the time. But I did live in Bermuda, so I'm not a total poseur. 4. I say 'gesundheit' all the time. But I did live in Germany, so I'm not a total poseur. 5. I prefer Diet Pepsi to Diet Coke, but Coke Classic over Pepsi. Does that count?
Word on the splitting the check thing. Unless you got there late & only had dessert or didn't eat at all, don't even try that bullshit "But I only had half a glass of wine from the bottle" crap. These are usually the same people who eat 3x more of the appetizer than anyone else & then want to split that evenly.
People blow. I'm out of here. Cross your fingers for me OWFLers! I'm getting acid reflux thinking about the bullshit I'm going to have to deal with in the next couple of hours. Ouch. Thank God I have some vino at home.
I'm a lover not a hater, Jo. I just have my small moments of hate.
Jo, I've tried to get her to come over to the Hater side, but it's just not in her. Try as she might, she's not a hater at heart.
Another thing that I REALLY hate although is when women do not either flush their tampon applicator (which if it is plastic, totally understandable)...but wrap that shit up in some GD toilet paper...NO ONE wants to see some period schmeered tampon app. sitting in the trash can next to you when one sits down to take a piss...ugh...I knew someone who did this and never emptied the trash...so when the can got full she would just strategically place the dirty tampons on top...ARGHHH!
unicorn -- your tampon story reminds me of why i live alone.
HT and Diz -- i have to say that you two are not the only ones who say that i look "little" in the morning. it is truly a sight to behold. and yes, that was fetzer i got comped when i got stuck in that goddam elevator for an hour. that shit is about as nasty as if you combined KJ and yellowtail into one bottle.
but at least i was also comped a bloody mary immediately after they unstuck me from the elevator. i guess that makes up for the fetzer.
and dipso -- "Also got a small sweet and sour cabbage"? i see someone's gonna blow some major ass up in the office later on today.
Uni - that reminds me of a gross, but not necessarily hate-filled story.
My dad's cat likes to play with the tampons. So, even if you wrap it up in TP (as you should), he will fish it out, unwrap it and carry it around the house. So, anytime I visit, I have to make a huge production out of taking them out to the trash, wrapped in tp and bagged in their own bags, to throw them away.
People wonder why I don't go home more often.
Oh wow, bathroom etiquette. I think we could fill up another whole day's worth with that crap.
Jade, I'm a big smoke bummer (when I'm drinking . . . which these days . . .) & I prefer Camel Lights. However, if the bummee has only, say, Marlboro Reds I'll either suck it up & have one, or just 'oh, thanks anyway.' I would never expect some random stranger to carry only my favoured brand! If you're asking, then take the fucking Red or Menthol or clove or whatever. WTF is wrong with people?!? I really should buy my own.
HT, that TOTALLY reminds me of when diz, TexEsq, and me lived together in boston. their dog would always pull out my dirty tampons from the bathroom trash...that was seriously so gross.
Peep - have you ever watched Dead Like Me? In the pilot episode where our protagonist (George) dies, we learn that her mom hates, HATES the word moist. So, when George goes to her own wake, she decides to communicate to her mom by spelling out "MOIST" on the fridge with those letter magnets.
I love that show. Two seasons were not enough.
Oh, and I'm getting drunk.
HT, our cat plays with wrapped tampons but your dad's cat is just a freak.
Kind of reminds me of college.
A big pet peeve of a bunch of my old running buddies would be when people overused or misused the word "random".
blecch.
Peep, that is the sexiest list of pet peeve words I've ever read. I love them all. I especially love it when someone combines them all and whispers them in my ear while simultaneously spanking me on the ass.
And now it's time for ... a smoke break!
HT -- the word "lover"? but what about PTL? that has the word "lover" in it...and does that mean you hate that stevie wonder song too?
Jo, you hate the word random. Which, I know, and abuse.
More than any other, I loathe the word "Lover". It makes my fucking skin crawl.
But some of the words I love the most are some that are considered the nastiest. "The C Word" comes to mind instantly.
"camel toe"?
I prefer "smuggling yoyos"*
*as far as I know the term "smuggling yoyos " was coined by "The Show".
Dead Like Me should be seen by all. It's magnificent and George is a great hater. I love that kid.
While I'm recommending things, I'd like to recommend the Elizabethtown soundtrack - both volumes I and II. And, if you've not seen the movie - Go. Now. Rent that shit.
I should clarify. It's fine when used in jest or ironically. But it is so, so wrong when used in earnest. "My lover and I... " blecch. Makes me want to upchuck my chablis (which, LC, you should understand this - I associate with the word lover)
How are your tits feeling today HT?
Bride, you've summed up the beauty of the C word perfectly.
"Tit" I don't mind - but I HATE "titties". Horrible.
I also discovered that there are a lot of people who don't like the following euphemisms:
Sac up
Sand in the vag
they both allude to the same, "don't get your panties in a wad" thing, but yet, those two seem to bother folks.
Of course, I have a number of Canadian friends who don't think "I blew my wad" is in any way dirty... silly Canuckistanis.
Bride, I think they're most often used by men, with men (only) and are under the radar of a lot of womin-folk. I love them both because I have a few male friends who are more girly than any girl I've ever met.
I just want to congratulate the bride on posting the most interesting and succesful post to date. Way to go on your first post ever!
HT by "womin" do you mean 'womyn'?
seriously, over 100 comments today...hasn't been like this up in here in a while.
and btw, how did lunch turn into talks about penises, vaginas, smuggling yo-yos and the like?
i love you guys.
6 degrees of the bride!
132 comments BEFORE 4:00 eastern.
Tomorrow we can talk about baseball.
i think it is because people love to hate deep down inside. even if you are the nicest person in the world, you have some hate to share. and it's endless.
if someone posted asking us to comment on things that we love, do you think we'd be close to 140+ comments today? i don't think so.
I'm going to shift gears for just a moment, because I finally took the time to read each and every comment here.
TheJade touched something when she mentioned being one of the 1.4% of people I don't hate. One of the reasons I love OWFL so very much (despite how much I sometimes get so pissed off at the goings on around here) is that you all are part of that number. As a person with the teeny-tiniest of actual blood families, I love having my OWFL family to look forward to every weekday. I LooooovvvveessshhhYoouuu Guuuuuyyysssshhhh.
Oh, I just remembered one for the Bride. TheJade got me a great set of flannel pjs for my recovery and I wear them all too often. They have snowglobes of most of the states all over them. But I laughed especially hard when I found the Kansas snowglobe, which was has a house getting swept up in a tornado and an arrow pointing in the direction of "Oz". Oh, and there's a dog that looks suspiciously like Toto. I figure I better never sport these around the Bride, since I've heard how she feels about the whole Kansas/Oz bit...
(oh, and I'm on like, my 4th margarita)
I'm not really a big fan of 'genitals' or 'genitalia'...I love 'moose knuckle' though!
I lvoe "muffin top" Bride, since I was having one for the few months before January. It's so perfect and even if you've never heard it before, the first time you do, it's like, "ohhhhh, yeah! I know EXACTLY what you mean!"
And, I thought I was the only OC fan around these parts... very interesting.
Moose knuckle is the male version of a camel toe...or if a woman has irregularly HUGE lips...
Is it drinking alone if I'm blogging with yinz all?
yes HT. Because we are sober. But not for long...
You silly birds with your silly jobs... someone better get to drinking soon, because I'm starting to feel bad about pouring liquor down Barney's throat, just so I appear to not have a "problem."
Peep, how do you feel about the word "mucus"? I thought so.
My sick day tomorrow is legit. I'm having a tough time, I promise.
'bout time for some sweet and sour cabbage soup.
I'm not so sure I want Typhoid Mary at the Chicago OWFLL.
By the way Jo, you will be happy to know we are going to J. Alexanders for lunch.
I like J. Alexanders.
Good food, great looking staff.
I'm betting Rico picked that one.
I know a guy who works in level 4 containment at the CDC, in labs where they work with such yummy things like ebola virus. When he started working there he had an unbelievable number of special vaccinations he had to take. There was one where his supervisor told him he had to arrange to take 10 days off after getting the vaccination because he was going to get incredibly sick and couldn't be around any one with a supressed immune system. Sure enough, he said he wanted to die for a solid 10 days because of fever, nausea, diarrehea and some random bleeding from a variety of orrifices. Makes my job look like cake.
"orifice" is a great word.
Weirdly, mine is "bunghole" or worse, "licko-lotipuss". I nearly punched out a friend when he said that about a large bull dyke in our way.
I don't know why.
I have a lot of pity to hand out I guess. Maybe I should become liberal.
Jo?
p.s. - In reference of Tucker: I point to Clive Cussler, Dean Koontz, and even present Stephen King. All writers, none of them could be called "Artists".
Maybe "Hacks".
Not that Tucker is one, but simply that being a "writer" does not make you an artist.
I never said I wanted to write a book. I make alot of money at what I'm doing. If I had enough time to write a book. I'd quit my job. I just don't think my life is interesting enough ... well unless you're drinking.
BTW Adam Phelber rocks!
Holy shit there was a lot to read on the ol' post. One thing I have to say is I USED to be a hater of blogs.
OWFL turned me around on that.
Now lets go hatin' through time...
"should become liberal"?
I'm outta here. Walking to whole foods to pick up a ribeye I saw the other because I am on my own for dinner tonight.
Beer steak and TV.
I can't wait.
“Art” and “artist” are such arbitrary terms. In one of my very last non-Original What’s for Lunch, lunch-related emails to Josephus, I recall telling him that I believed “my sandwich artist was a Dadaist.” (Ah, the non-blog days…nostalgia…without regret, mind you.) Can sandwich making be an art form? I wouldn’t argue with it, especially if you read about Jo’s creation on Saturday. I had an art appreciation class once, and the professor always said that if someone creates something and decides to call it art, it’s art. You can’t argue. You can think it’s shitty art, you don’t have to connect with it, but you can’t argue with it. I think I believe that.
E-que: please, please bring back fat tire and Trippel. I'll cover the cost. In fact, if you need my fedex/ups shipping codes, just let me know.
Have a great trip - we need to get up to some drinking good times when yinz get back!
By the way, I had a chicken fajita burrito from Chipotle for lunch. Yes, with sour cream.
Love ya' E-Que. I'll see ya' when I get back. Barney and I are waiting patiently.
I love Chipotle.
And, I'm drunk.
yay - Ro. Esq! We've heard so much about ya'!!
I'm already hungover.
I hate tequila.
"It's a thin line... between love and hate.."
True dat', Chrissy, True dat'.
I always thought the fine line was between clever and stupid.
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