Friday, January 19, 2007

a moving lunch


Moving sucks.

let's talk about this shittastic process.

5 Days BM) You are placing things in carefully labeled boxes, wrapping them in paper and generally excited about getting out of the hole that you currently live in

1 Day BM) You are emptying entire drawers into one of two places: the garbage (to be thrown out) or garbage bags (to be hastily thrown in the back of your '87 Dodge Omni). All you want to do is be done with this entire process regardless of whether it is driving to the new place or torching the old one.

Day of Move) By noon you realize you had to be at the new place by eleven and you haven't even cleaned the oven. Fuck it. You weren't getting your security deposit back in the first place.
You are stuck in a maze of your belongings, swearing to never buy another piece of furniture and cursing yourself for not throwing out more useless things before you moved.

10 Days AM) The TV, Bed and Stereo are set up. Congratulations you have successfully moved.

Sooo... the question is... what do you have for lunch at each day during this process? in the beginning you are trying not to buy any more food for fear that you will be forced to make the life or death decision of moving it or throwing it away... on the day of the move do you really have time to eat? how are you supposed to get food when you are that drunk? and your reward for moving? an empty fridge. that won't help our lunching...

i think these are all very important questions considering that

Today The Original What's for Lunch says FUCK BLOGGER and moves out on her own.

and Sunday

Miso says FUCK ROCHESTER and moves out of Upstate NY
(congrats miso, took you fucking long enough)

64 comments:

Heliocentric said...

The one thing I know about moving I learned from a stupid little man Ironically named Neal Wise.

When you have hefty fellows moving shit for you, you order pizza for them.

That makes sense. I don't want to move things, but if I was doing it, I'd appreciate a break given to me by the man with the purse strings, and what better break than pizza.

Now I don't think you go to a good pizza place and you don't get any good pies, because it's the thought that counts.

So M, I say Pizza is moving food. It gets delivered, it gets eaten, it's cheap and it's easy.

Heliocentric said...

I;m sorry that I answered the question perfectly, and that there will be no more discussion on the topic.

But hey... what better time to re-plug tonight's HH@BB.

Hey y'all, Happy Hour @ Bravo Bravo in Cap City. Discussion topics to include, how does this damn smoking ban effect me, and details of the OWFL Pitt conference.

HaterTot said...

Yeah, helio pretty much nailed it. You can't cook (or cut anything up, or eat on plates, or even slather your bread w/ mayo or mustard) b/c all of your utensils, plates, etc. are packed. It's got to be something self contained, requiring nothing more than your hands and maybe a napkin (make sure to ask them for extras when you order). I'm fairly certain I've eaten pizza in the midst of every move I've made, and that's saying something considering I've moved no less than 20 times in the last 15 years.

Heliocentric said...

I one time moved from Russia to USA. I brang 1 skateboard, clothes, backpack, microphone that plays through radio, and Granpa Mitch's boxing gloves.

Move was easy. Since then I have moved within the USA from NYC to Atlanta, to Omaha, to Tampa. In such times, I got more and more stuff to move. NOw I am not wanting to move again. I have room over garage just way I am liking it. Punching bag, audiovox stereo cassette player, bean bag chair, futon what is, getting this, also bed.

If Mitch is having to move again, it will be because of major record contrakt and big moneys will be involved moving in to the ILL Manshion. for lunch that day I am to be having food explosion. prolly fried chicken, and 4, no 5 sides. To being rich will be great.

Heliocentric said...

"a moving lunch" sounds like something that makes you go poop.

LizTurtle said...

Ha ha! Helio said 'poop'! Hm, although there was much mention of 'BM' in the original posting.

I will not be available for HHing as I will be on my way to 7 Springs for skiing. Here's hoping the new (manmade) snow sticks.

Last time I moved, the night before I got a burrito from 7-11, b/c I hadn't packed my microwave. The next day I went to 5 Guys. 2 perfect, no-utensils-required meals. Although I really should have drunk more water/gatorade with the burrito. I was on the verge of vomiting the whole time the movers were there.

Have good moves, y'all! Ain't it a bitch?? Before I moved back from Bermuda I had vague fantasies about my place going up in flames before the move, so I could just move back & get a big fat insurance check . . . .

Not sure wfl today. I'm starving though. And with all the poo-talk a little backed up. I need something fibery.

Hey, did anyone catch 'Scrubs' last night? "It all comes down to poo" ha ha ha! So fitting with the subtopic today.

Unknown said...

hi, can't make it to HH tonight as i'm feeling a bit worn and need to recover from a rough week of work. but anything to do with the pitt is fine with me. just tell me the date, time, and place. i'll be in moon township with bells on!

oh, and we HAVE to go to primanti's. i saw a thing about it on the food network, and it has owfl written all over it.

LizTurtle said...

My only question about Primanti's is: is it a "real" place or is it a tourist place? I.e. would HT be embarrassed to show her face in there? Hmm . . . WWHTD?

Heliocentric said...

What Would Hitler Tie Dye?

That's easy. Just like everybody else, he'd do a tee shirt, but he'd probably use reds and blacks and he'd probably try to make a swastika, but as an experienced arts & crafts director at a summer camp, I know it is difficult to tell your tie dye what to do. More often than not, you try things that don't turn out how you want them.

Oh Hitler, you can whip a crowd into a frenzy, but you can't get a tee shirt to do your what you want.

Heliocentric said...

Who Would Hit Tyler Durden?

Easy, Jack would

Heliocentric said...

Why Waste Half the Day?

Cuz I'm high that's why

Josephus said...

It took my computer and I about 2 minutues longer than it should have to get to our new home.
I'm not entirely sure why.

Moving day(s) calls for several feet of subs or several pizzas.

HH@BB is very important tonight.
Make sure to make sure to make it.

I think I am going to SOHO again for a lunch by the pound.

And I will be spending my lunch hour getting the tv lunch blog up.

It will be housed on blogger...

Heliocentric said...

What was Heliocentrik thinking, Duh?

Heliocentric said...

I'm all set to go to HH.

I threw out some hollow invites to Reno, Ken and some roomies, but I am confident none of them will be joining us.

I'm excited about this evening. Now I have to get up early to do an hour and a half of biking and running on Saturday so i can't make it a late night, but I don't have any work outs scheduled today so I can totally get drunk in the afternoon.

HaterTot said...

LT, it's Pittsburgh - there aren't really any tourist places, because what self-respecting traveler would voluntarily go to Pittsburgh? (Watchdog family exception - they were going to a game)

Primanti's has, over the years, expanded and opened several outposts around the region. We however will go to the one in the Strip District (or perhaps the South Side - but I prefer the one in the Strip) which is the original, and I contend, best, one. I show my face in there whenever I am home, as do hordes of yinzers from across the 'burgh.

I think I'm going to take yinz to a very special place in the history of HT. Very near to where will be staying (walking distance) is the location of the first meeting of the HT mom and dad: The Skylark Motor Inn. I'm not entirely sure that the "Inn" part is still operational, but the bar downstairs (which was where they actually met) is still up and running.

This is going to be the most surreal weekend ever.

m said...

ugh.. how did it get so close to lunch time...i'm off work again and trying to clean this shithole i live in now... sucks..

i guess pizza is the obvious answer although in one move i ate a small box full of those corn starch based packing peanuts.. they weren't bad with salt..

on my second move in philly my new roommate had a casse of some shitty wine coolers that she had leeft from a party. so we had winecoolers and corndogs for lunch.. in was fucking glorious

Heliocentric said...

M. I know we probably got all the immature homophobic name calling out of our system yesterday... But wine coolers and corn dogs?

That's totally gay.

LizTurtle said...

M, I thought you had decided you weren't getting your security deposit back anyway?

God, I'm starving. And I've allowed the part of my brain that wants to be fat into taking the rest of me to Panda Maxx. I'm jonesing for some General Tso's. Or sesame chicken. Anything chicken & fried & with sweet sauce. Yum.

Lady A said...

Beer is moving food.

What time are people gathering for this HH?

Heliocentric said...

Looking for some real lunch help here today.

What is a good baseline for a Happy Hour? I don't have a book with me to read, so that will not come in to play. I'm willing to walk several to many blocks.

What's a good lunch along those lines?

Where's the SOHO closest to the Fruit Loop?

Heliocentric said...

Lady A, I just calculated that Ima get there at or around 5:30. i also related that to the Leutentent, but I don't know if he'll be down there.

m said...

oh, i'm not moving.. i am having a surprise party for mau's birthday tonight.. and i odnt want all her friends that i hve never meant to understand how slovenly i am.

thank god for rumba

and as far as winecoolers. they were accessible and i was sober... i promise you that was the LAST time i ever drink those again.. hey.. miso was there drinking them too.. i think that confirms the rumors i've heard about her gayness.

as for corndogs.

THOSE ARE GOD'S FOOD, DON'T BE DISRESPECTING THE CORN DOGS..

lunch will be turkey soup and cigarettes.

yum.

did anyone see o'reilly on the colbert report last night?
hahaha

Heliocentric said...

I saw that, and I just heard on the radio that Colbert was on O'reily earlier in the day. Good stuff.

I'm with you on the corn dogs, but pairing a phallic food with wine coolers... I don't feel I need to finish that thought.

In the absence of any decent suggestions, i might just go to the clown's for some McNuggets and a Big Mac.

LizTurtle said...

Ah Helio, if only I had seen your request before going to get my lunch, I would have said chinese. The rice and/or noodles lay a good groundwork for HH & the meat is tasty. And get a spring roll while you're at it. Snarf. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, man.

Last time I was in Pittsburgh (out of the grand total of once that I've been there - in 1994 visiting my college roommate at her summer job) we were walking around on Sunday & nothing was open & this little gallery had a weird sculpture of this creature sitting on a bench. I guess it was one of those fantasy type creatures & it was the size of a leprechaun. It was terra cotta & had that striped with green paint & a big belly & like flowers for ears (sort of like Shrek, but bigger). And I looked closer, and I realized it looked exactly like this guy we knew at college. I laughed & laughed & if I'd had anything resembling money at the time I would have been tempted to buy it just because. That would have been an expensive joke. Anyways, I took a picture of it through the glass and it came out really well! I couldn't believe the camera focused on it & not the window!

That's one of my Pittsburgh stories. Another one is: I got a headache the 1st full day I was there & it didn't go away for 3 days. We also went to Primanti's. No idea if it was the original one or not. It was snarfilicious.

Josephus said...

I'll be ready to drink around 4:00

I made the mistake of saying "Sure" when some co-workers asked if I wanted yo have pizza with them for lunch.
They ordered it ten minutes ago so it won't be here for another 45.

What should I grab to tide me over?

LizTurtle said...

an eggroll!!!

m said...

jo.. how about a sleeve of ritz?

HaterTot said...

Sorry Helio - I can't help you. I have no idea WFL. It sounds windy outside. I also need to run to the bank, as I must deposit my last unemployment check and my first check from the J-O-B. Yay money!!

LizTurtle said...

HT, don't you think maybe your avatar is a bit out of date now? Although I do so love the mexican wrestling mask . . . .

m said...

screw turkey soup.. garlic fries for lunch...

Heliocentric said...

I'd've appreciated the help and suggestions, but alas, I've dined with the chinamen far too often this week.

Instead, i was helpful.

I helped Birdie, Mayor McCheese and the Fry Kids match up with their favorite food. I helped Grimace through the maze to get a shake, I helped Ronald find all the words and helped the Hambugeler find all 7 hamburgers hidden in the picture. Dang, I'm tired from all this charity work.

Josephus said...

"Hambugeler"?
Hambuggery?


Pizza got here a little earlier than expected (I had 4 saltines in the interim).

Thin crust with pepperoni, shrooms, and green pepper.
From some place on P Street.

Not bad.

LizTurtle said...

The Hambugeler? I don't remember Ronald having a horn-playing friend. Must be one of those new-fangled characters. Like Elmo.

Heliocentric said...

Can't our new site spell check?

And for the record, I don't think Ronald ahd the hamburgler are friends.

I think that while Ronald would smile at his antics like one would with an unruly child, the Hamburgler would slice that fucking clown's throat given the opportunity.

HaterTot said...

Wait, LT, didn't we see the Hamburgler out the other night?

And yeah, I've got a job now, but will keep the lucha libre gear.

Heliocentric said...

You understimate the criminal mind. True it would take two slices, one to the ankle tendon (as seen in Kill Bill Vol. 1) then after the clown hits the ground, the anti-hero can do whatever he likes; including, but not limited to, slicing his throat.

HaterTot said...

No, Ultimo, not me. I steer far clear of the ring, being as uncoordinated as I am.

I only dabble in the rico suave fashion of your people from time to time.

Lady A said...

Ok, so I'll be heading out of work around 4 and heading straight to BB.

I'm very excited because today is popcorn day AND mcdonald's will have their 6 piece nuggets on the $1 menu for a limited time starting today!!

The Doctor said...

pizza = move food, everyday

The lady at the GP took my salad to weigh it today and said "That looks really good. Makes me hungry!"

~fist pump~

dizkonekdid said...

Today was a"wreck" at Potbellies' with hots and a shake (Oreo)... My brother is in with me today and we are working on techie crap. I guess I'm going to run later today .. I need the exercise after that shake ... and the night of debauchery last night.

LizTurtle said...

Ha! We did see the hamburgler! And I was thinking about something I was talking about - some famous guy had something to do tangentially with some story I was telling you & Bonbon & I was going to look him up on the web. Now I can't remember the story or the guy. Argh. Do you remember my story?? :-(

HaterTot said...

Were we talking about your commencement speaker?

LizTurtle said...

No, I think it was some other story . . . I was pretty sure that you would know this guy, I just couldn't think of where to tell you he was from. Argh. I'm going to go insane.

But since you mentioned it, here's a little thang about my commencement speaker! He has his own Wiki entry! How awesome!

Josephus said...

From the wikipedia entry for celebrity chef and world traveler Anthony Bourdain:

Among his many epicurean exploits, Bourdain is famous for consuming sheep testicles in Morocco, ant eggs in Puebla, Mexico, a raw seal eyeball as part of a traditional Inuit seal hunt, and a whole cobra — beating heart, blood, bile, and meat — in Vietnam. According to Bourdain, the most disgusting thing he has ever eaten is a Chicken McNugget.

HaterTot said...

This guy was mine. Blecch.

Heliocentric said...

Jo, I love that guy, and all of the travel channel. Especially that Samantha Brown. She's quite the dish.

I was actually busy getting a Pizza and moving out of Studio 55 and didn't go to my graduation. I just wanted to get out of Gainesville. The internet doesn't seem to make it easy to find out who was my commencement speaker. But when Lil' Miss Sunshine got her Master's degree from GW, Andy Rooney was her speaker. I'm sure there's a wiki page on him.

LizTurtle said...

Danny Glover was your commencement speaker & you didn't go. I'm speechless.

Danny Glover is awesome. I would go see him anywhere, especially if it were at my commencement. He was great in Dreamgirls.

HaterTot said...

My college commencement speakers were Kermit and Elmo, but I didn't go. My parents refused to come, so I pretty much didn't see the point.

m said...

well, this was before he was in The Cookout so i didn't know what i was missing.

i blame it on gin

Josephus said...

"Diplomatic Immunity!"

gunshot

"Has just been revoked."

m said...

from wikipedia in the same movie:

Patsy Kensit described her sex scene with Mel Gibson as having been very uncomfortable to act out. She stated that the reason was that she and Gibson were "both married" and "both Catholics."

Heliocentric said...

M. I plan to blame it all on Gin in about 71 minutes. Aww Yeah!

HaterTot said...

I have just laid down an HH base of "Greek Meat Platter" which consisted of a "salad" (a smattering of chopped lettuce, a tomato slice and a whole assload of feta) and then a container of gyro and souvlaki meat.

Yes, I'll be going to the gym after HH.

m said...

helio, was that you with the slow coocker? this looks like it may be the best slow cooker recipe EVER. its CAKE

CAKE!

slowcookercake

LizTurtle said...

blame it on the gin? wasn't that a milli vanilli song? hm. there's a bad-taste suicide joke in there somewhere.

Josephus said...

Blogger is still fucking with me.

HaterTot said...

As opposed to a good-taste suicide joke?

Heliocentric said...

I refuse to cook anything that won't get me laid.

By the way ladies, i make a sexy fondue.

Earthquake is the slow cooker.

LizTurtle said...

Hm, good point, HT.

Yes, fucking blogger. I can't believe I'm saying that still. I thought I was through!

LizTurtle said...

Oh Helio. Some ladies like a man with a slow hand. Some like a lover with an easy touch. Someone who will spend some time. Not come and go in a heated rush.

Oooooh baby. That song has slow cooker written all over it. Speaking of which, where has the Quake been today?

Heliocentric said...

I've had Quake's job, so I know he's not working... it's Wednesday - Friday.

Not sure where he is at.

dizkonekdid said...

I think she is really catholic.

dizkonekdid said...

Yep really catholic.

LizTurtle said...

Goddamit, Diz, I'm at work. A little warning for the blue pictures please.