Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Eating To Fit In

As some of you may be aware, I started working again yesterday. And, I'm going to do it again today! I'm a contractor right now, which is cool, because I set my own hours, but I think it's important to try to fit in with the new office's culture, since it's likely this will become a permanent gig sooner rather than later.

Yesterday I learned that I work in Heaven. There is unlimited, free Diet Coke at this office. They also keep the fridge stocked with all manner of snacks, procured either from Peapod or from Trader Joes. It's a small office (again... I swear someday I'm going to work someplace with more than 20 people) and they all seem to be pretty pal-sy, and apparently they very often eat together.

So, this is where I start to sweat and worry. During my time off, I'd finally managed to ween myself away from the habit of eating a ginormous, crazy lunch just to impress the kids over at OWFL. Instead, I've usually been skipping the meal altogether, or eating something lunch-like pretty late in the date, which also doubles as dinner, and snacking during the day. Even when eating 2 whole meals a day (b/c breakfast is gross), my food interests and preferences can be a little odd.

So, which of your eating habits do you have to hide to fit in? At what point do you reveal your true nature? Or do you always eat your mayonnaise and anchovy sandwiches in the privacy of your own bedroom, with the blinds pulled? What are your eating secrets? What do you choose when you're eating to be part of the crowd?

And, what are you having for lunch today? Alone in the bathroom stall, or otherwise, What's For Lunch?

27 comments:

HaterTot said...

Oh, and by "pal-sy" I mean "very friendly with each other; chummy" rather than "twitchy."

Carry on.

Lady A said...

Damn HT...I thought maybe you were working with the chick who played Blair's cousin in the Facts of Life....

Lady A said...

The schedule is up

Earthquake said...

Congratulations on two days in a row, HT!

I don't have any need-to-hide eating habits that are springing to mind. The fitting-in practice that gives me the strongest pangs of hypocrisy is when the group is having pizza for lunch. Here's a secret for you: I don't like national chain pizza, especially the fuckers who deliver. Domino's? I would rather eat my own shit. Papa John's? I'd rather eat someone else's shit. (And, yes, even with that vile garlic dipping sauce.). Pizza Hut? I'd rather eat Domino's. Yet, office lunxh with shitty pizza, and I find myself in line at the trough.

Maybe that is a new lifestyle adjustment to add to the list: no more shitty pizza. From this day forward, if there isn't a decent pie available from a competent pizza house, then this guy isn't having pizza.

Unless I'm high.

Gonna be on the road for most of the day so lunch will be whatever jumps up and bites me when I stop for gas some time. Probably nothing too substantial, given the big-ass Chick-fil-a breakfast I put down this morning. (I love getting the chicken and egg biscuit. It's like a tasty little philosophical conundrum to start my day.)

m said...

it rarely is an issue at lunches but as for significant others, i've had to hide the fact that often i am perfectly happy eating single item meals such as:

* mashed potatoes
* stuffing (Mmmm--one of my favorites)
* a box of ritz crackers
* a block of cheese

i guess this explains my girth.

mau is still pretty disgusted by it but she has grown to accept me.

m said...

now when you say with your feet, do you mean that you use a spoon with your feet or do you mean that you cup your foot and use the actual appendage to ladle it into your waiting mouth?

Anonymous said...

I suppose my lunch shame is fast-food. I don't do it often, but there is a BK right next to my office. Before I go I put on a trench coat, a fedora hat, and I wear dark glasses.

Today I'm busy, first day back after a long absence, and just a few days before I depart again for a work trip. So i'll probably be eating at my desk, perhaps a salad from the cafeteria, or one of those panini sandwich thingys.

LizTurtle said...

Hooray HT! When are we getting a moment of clarity?? I do hope my parking space is working out for you.

Hm. I never worried about this until I started OWFLing, but I'm afraid of tuna now. Unless I've drained it in the safety of my own home. I guess I would fear for other's safety in the office if they got between me & a sushi plate. Luckily for them, they never get sushi plates.

I'm with you on Domino's & Papa John's (why do people like PJ so much? The sauce is so sweet, it's nasty). But I disagree on Pizza Hut. That's my guilty big-chain-pizza pleasure. Deep dish, too!! Mmmm . . . carbilicious. And greasetastic, too.

FL: Jersey Mike's ham & cheese. Which might be the end of these sandwiches. I couldn't bring myself to eat that for dinner, so I had the rest of my alfredo with peas & prosciutto leftover from new year's eve.

dizkonekdid said...

At work we are very pals-y. This leads to amuzing sessions of people opening their ouths and saying the wrong things to the wrong people. This can be amuzing if you've been around a long time, however if you're new, well you get the idea.

Today I think I'm going to get Greek, Niko Niko's sounds good.

dizkonekdid said...

oh, congrats on the new job! Its good to have you blogging again.

The Doctor said...

I don't really hide anything...but I do almost always eat behind closed doors in my office. Sometimes due to co-worker request (gyro days), but mostly to keep the snoops out. "Ooh, that smells good! Whatcha got there?" "Knuckle sandwich, that's what I got! THWAK!!!"

Gerri, that was the character's name. Take that, czar!

I'm doing sick guy lunch today, 'cause I feel like shit. Gonna find some chicken soup and buy a thing of oj and ginger ale.

Earthquake said...

11:34:14 AM: I used to have a thing for The Hut. Back when I was working with sixth-graders, I used to dine at Pizza Hut with one hundred of my closest middle school friends on our way back from scenic and historic Colonial Williamsburg each week. The only thing better than shitty pizza is shitty pizzas that has been mass-produced for twelve year olds.

I did that for about a year and a half. Three months or so into that year and a half, Pizza Hut fell to the bottom of my list.

PS-just passed up a truckstop corn dog for lunch. The sadness will dissipate, but it is strong with me now.

HaterTot said...

Thanks for all the congrats. So far, so good. Two days in a row!

Today for lunch was supposed to be leftover Chinese from last night. (lo mein, dumplings and hot and sour soup) Of course, I would have actually had to bring it with me for that to be the case, so I think I’m going to skip the midday meal we’re all so fond of, in favor of leaving a smidge early to get my errands done tonight. Second day of work – already forgetting lunch.

LT – maybe later next week? Though, I’d have considered it yesterday, but your abode was dark when I retrieved my car. I have a ton of stuff to do tonight before I head to Orlando tomorrow. Your parking space is lovely and cozy, and I am much obliged for your kindness in letting my car hang out there during the day. Hopefully, the nice folks here will have a parking space for me soon enough.

Earthquake – quit driving with your knees. You’re a hazard to the highways.

Lady A – I’m not sure if I’ve ever shared this, but anytime I’ve had to look for jobs, I often see work at places like the United Cerebral Palsy Foundation, or Special Olympics or other places where I’d have to work with or around mentally or developmentally disabled folks. While I believe these are worthy causes, I know that there is zero chance I could work there because of my almost instinctual impulse to spend eternity in Hell. I promise if I worked in an office full of “Blair’s cousins” I’d have been fired for inappropriate laughter/humor, or I’d have quit after yesterday b/c I have no desire to stoke the fires that are undoubtedly already waiting for me.

GimletGirl said...

HT--based on my year toiling at the school for the blind while in college, I'd say that the well-adjusted disabled usually have a pretty good sense of humor about their situations. It's the self-righteous able-bodied fuckers who are often drawn to work at those types of places that can't take a joke. Yeah, you wouldn't last there (and that's why we like you).
I have no secret lunch shame, but I do try to hide exactly how much I love some of the industrial food cranked out by the work-caf. Mass-produced lasagna day (tomorrow! woo!) is already marked on my calendar.

LizTurtle said...

Ha ha! Oh, man. That would make a good sitcom. "HaterTot works at the Special Olympics" Oh, wait. They already made that into a movie with Johnny Knoxville.

You leave tomorrow? I thought you it was Friday. Bonbon & I are going to see 'The Departed' at 7:10 (I think? Maybe 7:30?) in Olde Towne if anyone's interested. Yeah, I didn't get home until almost 7 last night & had a huge neck/back/headache courtesy of hunching over my computer screen all day. Partly b/c of work & partly b/c I was avoiding the inevitable "Did you hear about your exam yet??" queries. Ugh.

m said...

faced with a mulititude of rather disgusting choices in the cafeteria downstairs and a pile of work for our saturday release i chose to have a dusty pop tart at my desk. it was blueberry

and now i'm thirsty.

spoons are for pansies

Josephus said...

When I am alone I put ranch dressing on (in?) my chili.

I have been snacking on almonds all day trying to see if they would tide me over through lunch. It ain't happening. I want tuna or chicken salad.

I have decided on tuna with lettuce, cucumber and mayo on wheat toast.

Scratch that, I am going to get either the tuna or chicken salad boat from the lunch lady in our building.

I think.

HaterTot said...

I'm going to some deli with my boss. Eating to fit in.

Dammit.

Heliocentric said...

I am only not hiding my secret dining habits when I'm out in the woods (or fields of TN) camping. I mean "society" doesn't take kindly to eating things that fell on the ground, eating with your hands, eating things that you threw into the fire.

On New Years, I ate some veto items to fit in. These hippies from Florida made this great mush with risoto, chicken, zuchini, squash, and fucking mushrooms. i dislike them slimy fuckers, and yet I ate them so as to not appear ungrateful.

Lunch today was North Carolinia Pulled Pork BBQ from the Brookings Caf, along with coleslaw, and Fritos. It was great.

Ima be watching the Sugar Bowl tonight at Baily's in Ballston, VA. Stop by if you like.

Go Irish!

dizkonekdid said...

Ro and I went to Empire Cafe today. I had the modified Caprese sandwich (a Caprese salad in a toasted sandwich with roasted chicken breast) and a New York Style seafood chowder (which helped out the cold I have from the cruise).

So I am now back and working in my monkey cage .... banging away on my keyboard.

LizTurtle said...

I'm trying to decide where I want to go for Restaurant Week. Who's in? It starts Monday & goes through Sunday. Oink oink.

GimletGirl said...

HT--your boss probably invited you to lunch b/c she's worried about you feeling like you fit in. Little does she know . . .
LT--I'm in Ohio next Tuesday and Wednesday for work (I doubt they have restaurant week in Chillicothe--Specials at Applebees, everyone!) but I'd be in for any other day.

HaterTot said...

We went to the Old Town Deli and I had something called the Sampler Salad with chicken. It was really good, but I now have seeds in my teeth. Yippee!

LizTurtle said...

So jealous of you, HT - you get to experience new & different lunch joints!

HaterTot said...

Yeah, but LT, these joints are like, 4 blocks from your house. They don't have to be new and different to you, at least. (I like this Old Town deli place, so far, lunch across the river doesn't suck)

LizTurtle said...

Yeah, but I never eat lunch out at home. Something about buying lunch on a weekend smacks of self-indulgence & laziness. Unless you're like meeting up with someone or something, of course.

LizTurtle said...

What is peep sauce? Is it creamy?