NOBODY'S HOME!!!!

Come and see us at our new permanent home here:

www.theoriginalwhatsforlunch.com

The NEW Original What's For Lunch!!!

Woah, What's going on???

So I'm like rushing to work this morning because I think I have to audit an orientation, but then it turns out the audit isn't until tomorrow. Then I am like OK what's on the ol calendar today and I find out that I have to post on OWFL. No problem... Wait, what website do I go to??? What special food celebration is going on today??? I know, I'll check the schedule. Where's the schedule??? What's going on here?? Am I awake or is this still a dream? Was I drugged?

So imagine yourself in a similar situation. You're Matt Damon and you wake up in a dusty room with no furniture. You know little about yourself except that you are highly trained in all sorts of spy skills and you're hungry. Or you're Tom Cruise and you've just had your retinas replaced with those of a dead guy, because you're a fugitive now. You wake up and can't see, but you're famished. Or you're Princess Buttercup and you come to in the hold of a ship, but you're famished and you have to figure out whether to search for a bite to eat or jump overboard and take your chances with the screeching eels.

You don't really know where you are, what's going on, how you got here or what any of it means, but your belly is grumbly and you want something to eat. What do you do for lunch? Do you sit and wait, hoping that some benevolent captor brings you some gruel and explains what’s going on? Do you search for bugs or rats to eat so you have strength to fight or flee, whichever the case may be? Do you roll over and ask the stranger in bed with you to quick whip up some omelets? What, oh What do you have for lunch when you have no idea what’s going on, but you know you’re hungry? What the hell is going on? What is for lunch today?

Spice Up Your Life

I am a chronic over spicer. If I ordered a glass of salt water I'd add some kosher salt for taste.

I add sugar to my chili, hot sauce to my spaghetti.

I add everything on the spice rack to my Bloodies.

I can't help it.

When I go to steak houses I am disappointed 75% of the time because my meat has "no flavor" to it.

And when I make steaks at home they marinate in just about every sauce and spice I can put my hands on before I put a spice rub on them.

I worry that my taste palate is dead.

But I have been told before that this is "over spicing" problem is common to Americans.

We simply can't let things stay pat, it doesn't taste right unless we add salty or sweet or smoky or whatever to give the meal and edge. I think that's why Bobby Flay is the greatest living American Chef. I kid, but it is true that everything he cooks is spiced up to the max and looks delicious because of it.

So today talk about your personal spicing stylings.

Do you think you overspice, or are you one of the rare breed who believe less is more?

What is your go-to spice when cooking?

What spice or flavoring can save an underspiced meal for you?

Are Americans overspiced in general?

And what is your favorite Spice Girls song? (Say You'll Be There)

Let these questions marinate in your brain a bit and then share your opinions with us.

And please don't forget to tell us, WFL?

Deep Freeze

So you are in the grocery store and you wander down the frozen food aisle and there it is...some sort of frozen food brand that is on sale for 10 for $10...you think ok..that's two weeks of lunch for $10. Hmmm....this could work and fit my budget, but the most important question is "but will it satisfy?". In my experience it typically leads to a big fat NO. The portions are ridiculously tiny and in most cases just don't taste very good. Sure, the lean cuisines only have 200 calories, but you need to eat 4 of them to equal a regular meal. Now TV dinners have come a long way from back in the day...but are they really worth it? I do admit, there are a number of frozen items that I am a sucker for like Marie Callendar's turkey broccoli mushroom pot pie, frozen cheeseburgers from Brown Street and Patio burritos. I will usually have something stashed in the freezer for the quick fix or when I am running late and need something fast to take to work. I just don't get how people survive on them day after day. I've noticed particulaly at the wrestling panda place that there are a number of people (typically women) who eat those Lean Cuisines EVERY day! All I can do is take pity upon them.

So what's your opinion on frozen entrees? Do you always have something in particular stashed away for emergencies? Have you found a certain type that actually satisfies AND tastes good?

And don't forget......WFL?!

Quick shout out to you Chicago peeps...stay warm in that 15 below weather over there! Brrrr!!

PeeP this.

So it's almost time to have made a decision about lunch, at least for those of us on the East Coast, but no PeeP Post yet. What up with that?

So in honor of the man, I will bring the discussion to Peeps The worst sweet treat I've ever had. Marshmellow covered in sugar. Thank God they only come out once a year during Passover.

Wait, what, they now have Peeps in the shape of Christmas trees too? Shit. I hate Peeps.

Peep is still ok in my book

So in light of gross foodstuffs (eg: peeps) What is your snack kryptonite? Can you live the rest of your life without eating one more Funyon? Would you rather get into a street fight with Mike Tyson than eat a Circus Peanut? Are you unoriginal enough to say that you hate Black Licorice?

I'll catch you around the lunch counter today folks. Stay warm out there when you get your lunch. Oh yeah, what'll it be that you're eating?

Repercussions

Sorry for the delayed post! Mr. E-que sends his regards, and please look forward to one of his typical eloquent posts in the near future.

Ok, so y'all should know the drill by now. It's the day after another eating fest day...so spill the beans and discuss what sporty delectables you indulged in yesterday. What are your favorite at-home game time eats? Do you make the pot of chili with all the fixins...or depend on your local pizza delivery to get it to you in 30 minutes or less?

And of course....WFL????

Happy Heavenly Hash Day!

My alternate title for today's post is The H is O, but that's only because I've had that SNL short with Ben Stiller, Jimmy Fallon, and Horatio Sanz playing opposite Will Ferrell as Glenn Frey on my mind lately. I decided, instead, to stick with Lady A's randomly assigned food celebration of the day. Of course, that decision led me to the next logical step: What the hell is Heavenly Hash?

Being an inquisitive young man who got to the office an hour and a half before anyone else, I decided to do a little research. Six and a half minutes later, I discovered the world doesn't really agree on the definition of Heavenly Hash.

"But, Earthquake, how is that possible? I know exactly what Heavenly Hash is!"

I know! Me, too! But, dig around a little in the realm of Heavenly Hashdom, and you'll find exactly what I found: you've been living a lie.

I was raised in the belief that Heavenly Hash was one of those creepy ice cream flavors that nobody I knew ever bought. (Mostly, because it had marshmallows in it, which are gross unless there is breakfast cereal or campfires involved and mostly only the breakfast cereal.) The only time I ever saw it was at the seedy end of the frozen food aisle and in the deep-freezer in the garage at that one kid's house whose parents were always "sleeping" or smoking or both but who I hung out with because we could shoot BBs at beer bottles in their backyard. In both cases, the ice cream carton was always covered with a quarter-inch of frost.

My cursory survey of the world's Heavenly Hash traditions turned up some new concepts for me. There are some people in the world who believe that Heavenly Hash is the combination of the Holy Trinity of dessert ingredients: chocolate, nuts, and marshmallows. (I know I just busted on marshmallows, but do you really think I could pass up an opportunity to drop "Holy Trinity of dessert foods?" Besides, who doesn't support dessert for breakfast? What's that, dietitians? Oh, go to hell!) Much like the Christian tradition, there are numerous sects and denominations that fall under this umbrella.

Then, there are the Recipe Traditions that assert Heavenly Hash is a magical concoction of fruit-saladish ingredients or an even more magical concoction of breakfast foods!

There is even a school of thought out there that believes that Heavenly Hash is one of the seed-bearing plants given us to use, according to Cypress Hill's interpretation of Genesis 1:12.

And, as evidence of the constantly deepening mystery surrounding the issue, one splinter group even, somewhat horrifyingly, construes this guy as Heavenly Hash.

The bottom line is that the world has as many visions of Heavenly Hash as it has of Heaven, and we all know how well that works out. (Don't we, Middle East?)

It seems February is all about learning for me. Yesterday I learned what Baked Alaska was. Now, Heavenly Hash, although I've raised more questions for myself than I've answered. So, let's continue this stream of education and debate. What other pitched battles about food definitions are out there? Anything, in particular, that you'll argue about until the cows come home? Or, at least until you engage in watersports with someone you met through an online singles ad?

And, of course, my fellow Heavenly Hash-hounds, WFL?

Baked Alaska Day??

So apparently it's Baked Alaska Day. Who knew? And who really wants ice cream in the middle of this cold snap, anyways? I guess that's the point of the baked part. There was some discussion recently about ruebens, which I've also never had. A friend is coming to meet me for lunch, so perhaps I will try to steer us to a deli of some sort & see if I can get a rueben (how is that spelled?). I would try to get a Baked Alaska, too, but a) that doesn't really seem like a lunch sort of thing, and b) where on earth would I even get one? Do they make them to go? On a cone? Huh. So wish me luck in my reuben hunt. And on that theme - eat something new! Even if you think "I've hated that since I was a child" b/c maybe you'll turn out to actually like it, b/c really, have you even tried it since you were a young 'un? Whether it's something new or an old favorite WFL?

What's for breakfast?

I'm writing to you from Honolulu, the best work trip I will ever, ever take. I just arrived though, so right now I'm exhausted. I just finished my dinner, while most of you on the East Coast are slumbering. When you all are up and blogging about lunch, I'll be deciding on breakfast. I don't know which end is up . . . those of you who travel to far flung locales often (I'm looking at you, Diz), how do you deal with the time changes and your meal schedules? I think we've covered this before (I recall "travel eats" posts), but please forgive me. I'm having a little trouble both thinking and writing. So, please offer suggestions for what folks in other time zones should have for breakfast/dinner/midnight snack and tell the world WFL!

yes boss, i understand boss, no blogging on the job boss.

what do i do in the morning, immediately after checking my email, voicemail and assorted death threats (invariably scrawled in blood)? I check the lunchblog. See if someone got up early and posted some form of witty dialogue that I could proudly reply "me too" to (ha, like a ballerina) or if there was something that I should look for in my surroundings before I responded in kind. Alas, not working in Washington, I apparently have to be to work at a reasonable time in the morning and I usually must wait patiently for the post to be posted.

By patiently, I mean that immediately following the completion of each daily task or meeting, I refresh the browser and pray for a new posting.

Which brings me to today (ha, like a ballerina). Pissed at myself for passing out during 24 last night, I didn't get a chance to write up a post for today, thus reserving a few more minutes for the work I am paid for during the day. Oh tragedy, oh opportunity, the blog was down.

I cannot be blamed for not posting something witty and full of NSFW pictures or links now!

But.

What do I now do with all this free time that not reading and responding to the lunchblog provides me? Will I get more work done? Will I burn out quicker? Will today be finally the day that I snap? Better yet…

What about you? What activities do you skip during the day that you will now have the opportunity to do with the lunchblog unavailable? And of course,
WFL?

Super Bowl!

I read today that the average man expends more energy making preparations for the Super Bowl than he does for Valentine's Day. Also in the news, "Bear Shits in Woods."
--Visualize a bear on a toilet in the woods reading the paper. --

I suppose many of the OWFL'ers are fans of "Da Bears." So while your favorite players are currently practicing their plays between visits to the local arbol to vacate their a-holes, you must be preparing for Super Sunday with glee.

--Visualize yummy Super Bowl food steaming with piping hot goodness--

So what's the plan sports fans? What's your favorite grub on this unofficial holiday that rivals Thanksgiving for pure gluttony? Any thing up your sleeve? Is that guacamolito sauce dribbling down your chin?

And how will you start your last week of eating practice before the big day?!

P.S. I have been trying to post this damn thing for over an hour now. I don't know what the problem is but i've never had this problem before. I can't post the cool pictures I picked out, very f-ing annoying.

Diz?! Diz! DIZ!?

Apparently Diz prefers being a prolific commenter, but not so much a poster, since he routinely forgets when he is scheduled and then complains about being left off the schedule. Or, perhaps he's busy switching us not only off the blogger server, but away from this confounded software, as well?

Where in the world is Diz? I suppose it's possible that Big Oil has him wrapped in its tentacles so tightly at the moment that he's unable to breathe, let alone post on OWFL. Or, he could be trapped beneath the city of Houston in their weird ass tunnel system. Perhaps he's at home, recovering from a hangover. Or maybe he's having some much desired quality time with the lovely RoEsq. Or perhaps she was REALLY pissed about him eating her favorite sandwich, and she's publicly flogging him for his error.

Diz - WHERE O' WHERE ARE YOU??!! OWFL is concerned! And, we need to know what you're having for lunch!!

Use today to speculate on Diz's whereabouts and please tell us: WHAT'S FOR LUNCH???

Does Anybody Care?

Yes it's real.

A published book called "No One Cares What You Had For Lunch: 100 Ideas for Your Blog" by Margaret Mason.

My good friend who I'll call "Mama Jewel" (a sometime lurker on OWFL) came across this book while doing her X-Mas shopping and sent me a copy.

I called Mama Jewel and thanked her and we shared a big laugh about it.

I immediately wondered aloud if our blog was the writer's inspiration.

Was OWFL the final straw that made her say, "Enough! I need to write a book to stop this lunch nonsense!"

And if OWFL was that final straw then how should I, how should we, feel about that.

Was she ridiculing us by singling us out, or was she in a sense praising us by the mention.

And if our blog wasn't the specific source of her inspiration (the more likely scenario, allow a Czar to dream) then should the book be taken as an insult to our carefully constructed lunch blogging craft or as a guidebook for turning OWFL into a blog powerhouse (no idea what that means).

I took a quick peek at Ms. Mason's blog (no I'm not going to link to it) and wrote her the following email on 12/19/06 because your Czar is a friendly sucker like that.

It read:

Ms. Mason,

I received your book as an ironic gift last night and couldn't stop laughing.
I'm not sure if you have stumbled across it, but some friends and I started and maintain www.theoriginalwhatsforlunch.blogspot.com
I plan on purcahsing copies of your book for all of our contributors this holiday season.
Please stop by and say hello sometime.
Good luck with book sales and have a happy holiday season.

- (real name redacted) aka "Josephus"

I have yet to receive a reply.

I'm sure she's a very busy lady, and I did kind of lie by not buying the books (sorry guys but I honestly can't even find my copy, and no I didn't read it), so I'm not bothered or surprised that she didn't write me back or "stop by" OWFL as I invited.

But it got me thinking, do you think she's right?

Do people really not care what we're eating?

And if they don't care does that mean that we, the few of us who have pledged our lives to OWFL, are some sort of mutant strand of human not unlike any others on the planet?

Let's discuss that question today and determine if Ms. Mason is right that no one truly cares about what other people are having for lunch.

And while you're at it tell me, because I know I care, WFL?

And Happy Irish Coffee Day!

Peanut Butter

Inside peanut butter outside jelly
7 days of the week 7 different chevys
Black SS wit tha top blown off
Fuck with them boys get ya top blown off

According to the OWFL Calendar, today is National Peanut Butter Day!!

So, let's take this day to discuss the butter of nuts. I for one do not like most other nut butters, with the exception of that nut butter that I ate at the Bongo Room in Chicago. (sorry, Dipso – can we just move on from this??? PLEASE?!)

Almond butter is icky, and I don’t like Nutella. Also, you can have your organic, unsalted, unsweetened peanut butters. For me, I’ll take Peter Pan crunchy over them all. I don’t even need bread – just hand me a spoon and a jar, and I’m a happy camper.

So let’s use today to discuss peanut butter and other nut butters of your preference. (can you tell I just like saying ‘nut butter’?) What’s your favorite brand? Do you eat that nasty organic shit? We can also discuss peanut butter in the news. For instance, is Brit preggers again (WHORE!) or did she really just get peanut butter on her new man’s shirt? Hell, let’s include a discussion of peanut farmers – what are your feelings on former President Carter?

What’s For Lunch? (and if it ain’t peanut butter, you’re anti-American)

Home of the Pirates, Steelers, & 2007 OWFL Conference

Before the fire alarm went off at Bravo Bravo; before Lord A brought $15 worth of $1 Chicken McNuggets; and before the Cap City OWFL crew turned a Happy Hour into a bender, preliminary discussions concerning the first Conference of 2007 took place.

Unlike most people in Cap City, we want to open this up to discussion before we come to a binding decision. So, Please weigh in on the details of the Pittsburgh Conference today.

Proposed Dates:
Weekend of March 17th
Weekend of February 17th

The committee endorses the weekend in March, which is in fact St. Patrick's day, however the weekend in Feb is President's day and a 3 day weekend for most.

Rooming Arrangements:
HaterTot has generously offered up an ancestral home for our use.

Bring air matteresses, cots, tents sleeping bags, or whatever you'd like to sleep on. Large back yard is available if the weather allows.

Agenda:
The housing venue is close to many eateries that typify the Iron City so once you get there, there will be little driving around.

We will eat in, eat out and drink all weekend and discuss Lunch of course.

Why go to a Conference?:
Don't you wonder what the people you spend your whole work day chatting with actually look like in person?

Please let this community know your thoughts, comments, questions or concerns on the Conference today and after things are sorted a seperate post will go up, hopefully on the sidebar, that will list the details of this special OWFL event.

Please don't get side tracked by the topic at hand and forget to tell us what you're thinking about having for lunch today.

Snowbunnies

This is totally me. And those are totally the Appalachians.

Skiing is fun. Woosh woosh woosh. The snow in your face, the wind at your back, your rental boots pinching, remindind you "You're not the boss of me!" b/c hey, at the end of the day you're just giving 'em back . . . . But I digress. Skiing is fun, but it's also hard work. You work up an appetite. And, if you're me, you wind up walking like Frankenstein's monster on Monday (ow ow ow ow - coming down stairs are the worst).

So after skiing, we went inside & had a few beers. Yummm. I know that hot chocolate is the more traditional post-skiing drink, but f that s. I started with at Sam Adam's cherry wheat, then moved on Bass, while my friends went with Miller Lite, until there were too many people to easily carry drafts to the table for, so we switched to bottles of Corona. Good times. And my food wasn't nearly as yummy looking as that melty cheese, but it still hit the spot - a heated up italian sub with really crusty bread. Mmmm.

So what's y'all's favorite apres-ski meal? And do you really make it all the way to dinner or do you stop for a late lunch like me & call it a day? And if you don't ski, what do you like to eat after shoveling the walk, or a snowball fight? And WFL today, this fine, snowyish (at least in DC) day??

a moving lunch

Moving sucks.

let's talk about this shittastic process.

5 Days BM) You are placing things in carefully labeled boxes, wrapping them in paper and generally excited about getting out of the hole that you currently live in

1 Day BM) You are emptying entire drawers into one of two places: the garbage (to be thrown out) or garbage bags (to be hastily thrown in the back of your '87 Dodge Omni). All you want to do is be done with this entire process regardless of whether it is driving to the new place or torching the old one.

Day of Move) By noon you realize you had to be at the new place by eleven and you haven't even cleaned the oven. Fuck it. You weren't getting your security deposit back in the first place.
You are stuck in a maze of your belongings, swearing to never buy another piece of furniture and cursing yourself for not throwing out more useless things before you moved.

10 Days AM) The TV, Bed and Stereo are set up. Congratulations you have successfully moved.

Sooo... the question is... what do you have for lunch at each day during this process? in the beginning you are trying not to buy any more food for fear that you will be forced to make the life or death decision of moving it or throwing it away... on the day of the move do you really have time to eat? how are you supposed to get food when you are that drunk? and your reward for moving? an empty fridge. that won't help our lunching...

i think these are all very important questions considering that

Today The Original What's for Lunch says FUCK BLOGGER and moves out on her own.

and Sunday

Miso says FUCK ROCHESTER and moves out of Upstate NY
(congrats miso, took you fucking long enough)

First OWFL HH of 2007, Jan 19 @ Bravo Bravo

The 2007 Happy Hour season will begin with the first official OWFL HH@BB on Friday January 19 following the completion of the work day.

In addition to fellowship and discovering how to smoke at a bar in a smoke free city, we will begin storming ideas for the OWFL Pitt conference. If you have any suggestions, demands or questions, but can't make it on Friday, email, call or text to a cap city representitive and they will act as your proxy. Official blog-wide discussion will take place on the Tuesday January 23rd post. Dates will be set, agendas will be outlined and arrangements will begin.

This is not a post to reply to, so please keep your comments to yourself.

Bravo Bravo
1001 CONNECTICUT AVE NW WASHINGTON DC 20036

whaaaaaaat?!?!

Me? Scheduled to post? Gosh. What an honor.

So, I ain't got nuthin' prepared for y'all, because, again, I only got, what, zero notice!?!? But you're probably pooped from that 122 commenter, anyway, and could use a nice relaxing Thursday. Fine work!

I had a 21 ingredient salad from the gourmet pantry yeperday. $4.93! I'm going to try to duplicate it exactly today. I like a lunch challenge.

Does anyone like croutons on his or her salad? Because I think that shite is frackin’ ricockulous.

Uh, happy peking duck day?

Baby It's Cold Outside....

Brrrrr.....Hot Buttered Rum Day.....Yummmmm....how appropriate considering it is cold as balls outside!!

I have a feeling that many of us will be in search of some soul warming comfort food today for lunch, a soothing soup, hearty stew, a chunky chowder...perhaps paired up with a melty cheese sandwich. And it would probably be preferable if it were from a locale that wouldn't require you to step outside!

Anyways, in honor of hot buttered rum day let's discuss our steamy drinks of choice on chilly days such as these. Do you take a shot of baileys with your coffee? Have you sipped on hot cocoa laced with butter schnapps? Or is a hot apple cider with some spicy rum more up your alley? Of course since most of us are at work, we may have to get by on plain coffee or tea until post work hours. But do you trade in your sodas, V8's, Shnazz (or whatever that seltzer water is called from Giant) on cold days like this for an extra trip to Dunkin Donuts for crack coffee?

And don't forget...WFL??

Happy Hot & Spicy Food Day

Today is Miso's day to post, but I can't remember if she was encouriging us to take her posting days, or if that was somebody else. Miso, I will happily pul this post down if you have something to put up, and I will appologize for getting it wrong.

Today is Hot & Spicy food day. I remember going to a BW3's during my freshman year at college, and going with the nukular flavor wings. They were great, but I was warned about the "ring of fire" the next day. I wasn't sure what that was, but long story short, your body doesn't process the heat and it is almost as spicy coming out as it was going in. Ouch!

I did some growing up in Mexico and they train their kids to eat the heat from the get go. I remember chili flavored candy, and Doritos that had a lot of spice. I loved it all... then I got old. Nowadays my mouth still wants the heat, but my belly protests. It's a hard battle to fight, but usually the belly makes a better case. Sometimes I do side with the mouth and get the spiciest thing I can find, and it is good... until the ring of fire kicks in the next day.

So I submit to you, what hot & spicy thing will you be having for lunch today?

MLK Day

Today is the 21st observance of the federal holiday honoring the life and legacy of Martin Luther King, Jr.. For many (but, by no means, all) of us OWFLers, that means a day off from work. Countless civic organizations and government entities encourage us, rather, to make it "a day on" by volunteering in our communities and breathing renewed life in to Dr. King's vision.

I went to a delightful dinner last night with a sizable DC OWFL contingent, and I spent a good chunk of time before, during, and after trying to come up with a suitable topic for today's post. The best thing I could come up with was somehow related to lunch counter sit-ins, most notably in Greensboro, North Carolina and Nashville, Tennessee in 1960, but I've gotten pretty good at recognizing when I'm stretching a tenuous connection too far. I knew I was going to somehow mishandle that project pretty badly.

While casting about for a more suitable topic, I picked up the copy of In Our Own Words: Extraordinary Speeches of the American Century that I keep here on my desk for reference and occasional inspiration. I read the MLK passages included therein out loud and was honestly surprised by the power I felt in them.

No matter how you are spending today, do yourself a favor and take seventeen and a half minutes to watch and listen to MLK's keynote speech on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial at the 1963 March on Washington.

Once you have basked in that for a while (and, perhaps, wondered when exactly our public leaders forgot how to read out loud, much less declaim so as to inspire an audience - without a teleprompter and, hell, departing almost entirely from written notes after the twelfth minute, which, I might add, is when the most electrifying passages show up), answer me the question that brings us together in community every day:

What's For Lunch?

International Lunching

Happy beginning of a long weekend Friday (for most of us at least)!

I'm shootin' in here early because it'll be a short day for me...today is team building day here at Save the pandas n'shit.org...so I'll be bowling in Chinatown for most of the day. (If there are any fellow DC owflers who can scoot out of work early and meet me for HH down there or anywhere let me know...I'll be done at 3:45) Is it bad that it is barely 8:30 and I've got alcohol on the brain??!

Anyways, so I'm thinking internationally today folks. Here in the good ole USofA the sandwich is a pretty typical american lunch item that we discuss on a daily basis at some point in time. It's satisfying, versatile, portable and readily available at any lunching establishment. So what would be the "typical lunch" in the international city/region of your choice? Would it be hearty bowl of efo in Nigeria, a tasty pot au feu in France, a heaping portion of bibimbap in Korea?

Let's stop thinking locally and start thinking globally!! WFL!?!

Peep Stole My Idea

Okay, so I didn't read the blog yesterday because I was busy touring a massive industrial facility and then traveling home from Ohio. But I logged in this morning ready to write a masterpiece, inspired by today's designation of "National Milk Day," all about how we used to drink milk every day for lunch, but now what do we drink? And what would we drink if we didn't all have to go back to work after lunch? And well, damn you, Peep!
Okay, so, soldiering on, and searching desperately for blogging ideas, lately, I've been reading Heat by Bill Buford. The descriptions of food in Heat make me desperately want to travel to Italy for some homemade pasta. They also make me want to either travel to New York immediately and storm a Mario Batali restaurant, demanding a five course tasting menu, or call the NYC health department to report all of Mr. Batali's restaurants. And I haven't even gottent to the part touted on the jacket where the author interns with a butcher. I predict at least temporary vegetarianism in my future. For better and for worse, the book is, um, rather vivid.
So, what's your favorite food fiction (or non-fiction)? Do you read over your lunch break? Any books you can't read because they put you off food? And, most importantly, What's for Lunch?

The Liquid Lunch

Have we talked about this? Well regardless, we are now....maybe again.

Obiviously, i would thrive on some bloodies right now. But seriously folks, if it were the 50's again and a 3 martini lunch was still the rave, how would you spend your lunch period? Would you get plowed off your ass or go for a nice thick drink to stave off your hunger till that beer and turkey leg are had at home?

I'm thinking PeeP would fuck some shit up. I'd have 3 shots of Jameson, a cold pilsner to wash it down followed by a nice bloody with 3 gorganzolla stuffed olives finshed off with a B&B to warm my walk back to the office.

So what would you drink for lunch...and shit, WFL today??

Lunchables

Remember those wonders of packaging and marketing. Oscar mayer really put together a nice little masterpiece of fun, when in fact it is just cheese and crackers with some thich lunch meat. They have come a long way since their introduction and now have partnered up with big names like taco bell, pizza hut to make shitty versions of their already questionable food for lunch. Lunchables are high in sodium, low in nutrition and clog landfills with heaps of unnecessary over packaging.

However, they are great for days like today... at least for days like today for your MikeySunshine.

It is like today is cosmically aligned on many levels for me. I was supposed to start that shitty job that I didn't take today. I have an interview for a job I really want today. Today marks two years of bliss with Lil' Miss Sunshine. The Gators are up for the national championship in Football. Rent is due, credit card statements come out and I have to drop off my timesheet with the temp agency or they won't pay me for last week. On top of all of this, it is my day to post and I haven't prepared anything.

So where lunchables are bad for the eater, bad for the earth and really expensive for what you get. I find myself wanting the all in one easiness that they provide today because I ain't got time for much else.

What do you find yourself wanting for lunch today?

Deep Fried

Here's a challenge for you, can you name something that doesn't taste better deep fried?

Think about it, its impossible.

You've got nothing.


Now I don't know who invented deep frying, but clearly that person made Einstein look like he fell off the back of the short-bus. What did Einstein do for the world? Nulcear bombs? Yeah that's just what the world needs Einstein!!
Tell me, where is the monument to the deep-fry inventer?

Anyhoo, the point is that deep-frying is great!. I'm not crazy about things like cheese curds, but deep fry them fuckers and you got a stew going there.

Twinkies, the food of the past, present, and future nuclear holocaust survivors, tastes way better deep fried.

And then there's things that you'd probably never eat, like chicken heads. But if you had to, wouldn't you first want to dunk them in batter and drop them a fryer? I bet that would be quite tasty!!

What's your favorite deep-fry? What do you wish you could deep -fry?

And what do you think might somehow taste worse deep-fried than not deep-fried?

and of course, WFL?

"Is Your Czar a Prophet?" or "My Lunch with the Recently Deposed Intelligence Czar" or "Why the hell does this guy still call himself the Czar?"

Let me start by wishing all of you a Happy New Year and thanking you for bearing with me through what is sure to be a nerve trying post.

I believe that I have prophetic dreams. Yes, after last night's dream it has become very clear to me that not only am I "Josephus, Czar of all Lunches", but I may also be "Josephus, Lunch Prophet". I shouldn't really be surprised by this as throughout history Leaders of Men have often shown a knack for supernatural powers, (usually they were dictators whose superpowered stories were spread to the masses by a secret police force but that doesn't mean they were made up.)

My powers of lunch prophecy have displayed themselves before but never as obvious as last night. I've often experience a "Lunch deja vu" in the form of eating a lunch that I had foreseen eating before. Or tasting a a sandwich and knowing exactly what it would taste like before the first bite. I had always chalked up these manifestations of my abilities to the fact that I rarely try anything new for lunch, so in effect I have tasted just about everything before, but that was simply your Czar's over active humility trying to explain away his gift. The truth is I regularly know exactly what I am going to eat well before I even thin about eating it. This is known in the superpower world as the power of precognition. And as my dream last night will show the sceptical among you, Your Czar is a very powerful "precog".

So on to the dream: I dreamt that I was out late drinking at a house party somewhere in a "tony" (czarish for fancy) DC neighborhood. I was regaling the other guests with lunch stories and other amusing anecdotes when I realized that I had been overserved. I immediately realized that it was foolish to try and drive home and came to the conclusion that it would be smart to simply go around the party and ask if anyone had keys to one of the houses in the neighborhood so I could rest (I know this makes no sense, but it was a dream so just bear with me). A young woman almost immediately came to my aid and offered me the keys to such a place with the caveat, that the family who lives there is supposed to be out of town. "Supposed to be..." Good enough for me, so I headed out. I arrived at the darkened home and proceeded to crawl into a slightly open 2nd floor window (shush!).

I found a comfortable single bed in a child's room and slept the sleep of an overserved czar. (I was sleeping in my dream! Isn't that kind of strange since I was asleep in real life too? Is it true you can't preform mathematical equations while you're dreaming?) So I awake the next morning to the sound of activity outside the room. This is not a good sign as I realize I am in someone else's home. I quickly dress and decide to investigate instead of sneaking out the window. Someone is vacuuming and talking on the cell phone about how sorry she feels for her boss. (Okay now this is getting annoying even to me and I know how it ends, I'll speed things along.) She says that her boss' new job gives him less power, pay and responsibility and that he is being effectively "castrated" by his boss. Castration annoys me so I decide to investigate further. I find a desk and start to rifle thorugh it. CIA documents are strewn around the desk with...with...little care ("wild abandon" seemed a little much.) On the walls I notice pictures of old men with foreign officials and several of a black (read "African American") woman with a gap in her front teeth. Where the hell am I?

Then I realize what is going on. The kind young woman from the party (who happens to also to be the vacuuming girl) has given me the keys to the home of Intelligence Czar John Negroponte. And apparently he has just received a demotion from his "boss" none other than President Geo. Bush II. Fate has put two Czars together for a reason. (Wrapping up now...)

I immediately reveal myself to the vacuum girl and I announce, "Call your boss sweetie. This Czar is taking that Czar to lunch!!!"

So that was the dream, and I wake up to hear on NPR that John Negrponte has indeed been demoted from Director of National Intelligence to 2nd in command at the State Department. Could it be that I saw this happening in my dream, or could it be that I heard it on npr during one of 7 snooze cycles this morning and incorporated it into my dream?

Science will never know the answer.

So today obviously the topic has something to do with dreams, getting demoted and delusions of grandeur. Knock yourselves out with that.

And I already know what you are having for lunch. Tell me so we can see how powerful I truly am.

Happy 2007 and WFL?

Eating To Fit In

As some of you may be aware, I started working again yesterday. And, I'm going to do it again today! I'm a contractor right now, which is cool, because I set my own hours, but I think it's important to try to fit in with the new office's culture, since it's likely this will become a permanent gig sooner rather than later.

Yesterday I learned that I work in Heaven. There is unlimited, free Diet Coke at this office. They also keep the fridge stocked with all manner of snacks, procured either from Peapod or from Trader Joes. It's a small office (again... I swear someday I'm going to work someplace with more than 20 people) and they all seem to be pretty pal-sy, and apparently they very often eat together.

So, this is where I start to sweat and worry. During my time off, I'd finally managed to ween myself away from the habit of eating a ginormous, crazy lunch just to impress the kids over at OWFL. Instead, I've usually been skipping the meal altogether, or eating something lunch-like pretty late in the date, which also doubles as dinner, and snacking during the day. Even when eating 2 whole meals a day (b/c breakfast is gross), my food interests and preferences can be a little odd.

So, which of your eating habits do you have to hide to fit in? At what point do you reveal your true nature? Or do you always eat your mayonnaise and anchovy sandwiches in the privacy of your own bedroom, with the blinds pulled? What are your eating secrets? What do you choose when you're eating to be part of the crowd?

And, what are you having for lunch today? Alone in the bathroom stall, or otherwise, What's For Lunch?

Punctuality

Wow, it was a looooong vacation for me. Last night was a bad mixture of no-name-brand-alcoholic-sneezing-coughing-aching-stuffy-head-so-you-can-rest-medicine and a lack of sleep. Said medicine couldn't get it's trick done until about 1am and then it was just too late for any real sleep. So, I'm at work this morning, on-time, without any real sleep. At least I'm still awake. So, we don't have a schedule up so I'm going to post because I was a total loser and didn't get it done earlier in the year (thanks LC).

So, since I'm so punctual this morning I figured I kick out a post.

I don't have the pics and video downloaded yet for a review of Los Angeles' beautiful port and the fresh food that can be found therein, so my topic will be a weak "What impossible new years resolutions did you set for yourself?" and "What's for lunch?"

Post Script: I know many people are off today for former Pres. Ford's funeral. As a respectful shoutout to the man of physical comedy (as opposed to the current President), I'd like to say that Gerald Ford was one of the good ones.