What Would Jesus Do... For Lunch?
We know he can turn water into wine, and he did that thing where he fed something like 1,000 people with one basket of fish and bread. But that was so year 25. Now that its 2006, surely there will have been some changes. His followers have gotten a lot more sophisticated, and now may be looking for a little sushi with some miso soup coming out of that one basket.
And perhaps due to the largely influential OWFL blog, he'd go for the last lunch instead of the last supper. Lots of good grub would be there i'm sure.
So share your thoughts on what Jesus might be eating for lunch and sharing with his brethren. What about Moses? Mohammed? Buddha? What do you think they ate, and what would they eat today if they were around? Would Buddha be caught dead in a McDonalds? Would Moses be seen eating bacon and eggs at Denny's? Do share!
This is a last minute replacement for Diz, so pardon the slapdash effort.
And of course, WFL?
46 comments:
Noting the consistent decline in church goers, I’d like to think that if Jesus could do it over again (and, I guess his all powerful ass could if he really wanted to) he’d at least have a sandwich for his last lupper. I’d still be going to communion if it was a reuben, fries and root beer.
Body of Christ? A-fuckin'-men!
I am sorry I missed yesterday’s post. If I may backtrack for a moment, I’d like to add a quick “I love Giada,” express relief that someone finally brought up Justin Wilson (I might have to buy that book of him reading Christmas stories), and whatever happened to the Frug’s assistant, Craig? I used to think that dude was cool.
I think Jesus might be into organically grown things, by small farmers, made from the salt of the earth.
In my experience, he likes to go with a cheap white zin.
I don't know wfl, but I have to get healthy. This is ridiculous. I had a bagel with butter, cream cheese and bacon this morning.
I'm not sure entirely what Jesus would have for lunch, but I guarandamntee that there would be a Twinkie in there 'cause His lunch will be like Him: part immortal.
Lunch is as yet undetermined, but it is approaching critical mass. In a strange hangover hangover (my body's unpredictable response to yesterday's hangover, I have a craving for Taco Bell.
jesus would eat an awesome blossom from chili's because you know that shizz is tasty.
currently i am fulfilling a childhood fantasy...i made cheesburger helper.
many of you may be cringing, though do understand that i have spent my early adulthood embracing the very things mother chibi denied me: soda, sugar cereals, real cheese--things of that nature.
for similar reasons, i purchased a myriad of board games because spamkitty refused to play with me when we were spam kittens. now i make my friends play with me and it's pretty awesome.
in regards to the food, for some reason, this cheesy noodle-y boxed meal is something i desperately wanted as a child.
i made it with fake meat and it's magical. magical i tell you!
Miso...okay. I was starting to develop a fondness for you, too. Okay...
I definitely root for my heart over my liver in the Kill Dipso race. I had a 24 oz ribeye last night, along with a lobster tail, stuffed twice baked potato and asparagus smothered in hollandaise sauce.
I am eating a small salad for lunch today.
I think He would have turkey and swiss on wheat with tomato, pepper and mayo. A side of potato salad and a vitamin water lemonade.
At least I think he would have that today.
For my lunch see above.
What do people who believe in reincarnation eat? You gotta worry that you're eating your long lost relatives or something...
Would Jesus call it baggo or cornhole?
Oh my god dipso! I'm feeling a tightening in my chest just reading about your lunch. And butter, cream cheese and bacon on a bagel? Good lord, man!
I will back you up in the miso ass-kicking. Girlfriend, some of us just had a birthday.
For lunch today was free lunch! It was (in the spirit of today's post) miraculous! Not the food itself, that was fine, not great, but not awful. No, the miracle was that we had an office lunch meeting and it wasn't brown bag!! Praise the heavens & bless you all! (angelic singing . . . .)
Anyways, lunch for me was a turkey on a chewy roll with sprouts & mushrooms, side salad, & fruit salad (passed on the cookie plate). I improved my blandish sandwich by putting some of my blue cheese dressing on & some of the red onions from the salad. Oh, and a big helping of snoooooore. Lunch meetings bite.
EQ, isn't that why Buddhist's don't eat cow?
Oh, and to answer the question: unfortunately, I think Jesus might be vegan. Although if He wanted to, I bet he could make a mock roast beef out of soy that would taste like the real thing!
Did anyone read my last or 2nd to last posting yesterday about Steve Irwin?? I have to say, I'm a little disappointed there weren't more (i.e. >0) comments on it. B/c come on. That shit's hilarious.
dunno what jesus would have for lunch, but i know what i'm eating...egg salad.
i had eggs for breakfast too. if i have eggs for diner then i will turn into an egg.
today is busy busy busy busy....
Hey LT, wasn't Jesus a fisherman? Or was that a fisher of men? Regardless I think the Big guy (2nd biggest) ate fish which means not a vegan.
The death of the Crocodile Hunter was tragic and senseless. I can't believe you would make light of it.
Would Jesus eat Manta Ray?
What would the Flying Spaghetti Monster eat for lunch?
Do you think that somehwere, far away, in a crowded bar, a crocodile wearing sunglasses and a dark suit is passing a cash filled envelope to a similarly dressed manta ray?
"Nice work on dat thing."
"You hired me to do a job, and the job is done."
"This is for you," the crocodile passes the envelope across the table, "The boss put a little extra in there for your media troubles."
"Yeah, you didn't tell me there would be cameras."
"That's why you get extra...aren't you gonna count it?"
"If I needed to count it you'd be as dead as the Aussie."
"Very well. Nice doing business with you. See you later..."
"After while..."
The FSM would eat his enemies: penne with vodka sauce and linguini with pesto.
I think that Jesus was a carpenter. I know he ate fish back then, but in our time with our enlightened sensibilities, we know that fish are people, too & shouldn't be eaten.
"I'm a fifth-level vegan. I won't eat anything that casts a shadow."
Nice Jo. But there's no broad with great gams in that story.
A broad with great gams and a killer tomato.
I'll include that in the full story, I just gave you a preview.
I'm a big fan of organized animal crime.
What currency do you think was in that envelope?
Earthquake, for a high profile hit like that there was at least 100,000 clams.
So hungry. So hungry. No idea what to eat for lunch.
I'm going to the Harbor for the weekend and making jam with my mom. I will eat at least a pound of blackberries.
Nice job sending him to "sleep with the mammals"...
"100,000 clams..." Niiiiiiice.
Jada, have a healthy salad. If you're like me, you're still in desperate need of a detox.
I'm pretty sure that if I had lunch with Jesus, he would make me a Crunchy Taco Supreme. It would be just like Taco Bell's Crunchy Taco Supreme, except He would use His divine influence to put the cheese next to the "meat" so it melts instead of putting on top of the shredded lettuce which is, in turn, on top of the sour cream.
That's such bullshit.
I think Jeebus would eat Nilla Wafers.
Wonder if He ever did any smelt fishing....
"Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that He Himself could not eat it?"
YOU GOTTA REEL 'EM IN, REEL 'EM IN, YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!
And, WD, nice touch with the "sleep with the mammals."
Sawry 'bout that today everyone. I had the post going and got caught up in meetings about an oil rig that ain't making it on time to Brazil. No tripping for Diz until Oct..
Regardless, we went to Skewer's for lunch because it was bought for us.
So free lunch and meetings kept me away. The chicken shwarma in a pita is always the bomb, I even got some falafel balls.
Them poor falafels .. never gonna "get any" again. "Cut down" in their prime. But hell they sure are better than rocky mountain oysters.
BTW thanks WD for watching my back. I had the post almost ready and will try to horn in on someone else's posting later this week... or maybe try to send a weekend post.
Ugh, I'm so upset. My mom's taking the dog in tonight to be put down. Poor little thing.
i uploaded more conference pics to the ofoto account...anyone see 'em yet? some are CLASSIC.
Sorry LT.
That sucks.
No problemo Diz. Sounds like it was somewhat a lunch related issue.
Spammity, where's the ofoto account? I want to see the madness?
Jesus isn't a vegetarian, because he'd want to partake in the full bounty of his dad's creation, but I'm sure that using his magic powers, he'd find a way to remove, say, just a lamb chop from the lamb, and then heal the little guy right back up. He's all about conservation and renewable resources.
Sadly, I'm not sure Jesus would approve of nuclear power, so he might not approve of my chosen career (or dizkonekid's involvement w/ oil rigs). He would, however, definitely approve of my chosen lunch today--carnitas soft tacos from Chipotle. Carnitas are divine. Though, Mohammed and Moses, of course, would be having the steak or the chicken. And no sour cream or cheese for Moses. But I think all the religious figures could dine quite happily at Chipotle.
And Dipso, your Jesus makes white zin? My Jesus just made Franzia, generic red flavor. No fancy labeling of varietals for the folks at All Saints Lutheran.
Subway. eh.
Not sure miso, but from the way I look in those pics at the next conference I'll be wearing a mumu.
bizzy bizzy bizzy
Salad with some tuna on top.
Jesus doesn't talk to me anymore since I stopped speaking in tongues and testifying.
Now I have this song stuck in my head...
The movie ran through me
The glamour subdue me
The tabloid untie me
I'm empty please fill me
Mister anchor assure me
That Baghdad is burning
Your voice it is so soothing
That cunning mantra of killing
I need you my witness
To dress this up so bloodless
To numb me and purge me now
Of thoughts of blaming you
Yes the car is our wheelchair
My witness your coughing
Oily silence mocks the legless
Now traveling in coffins
But on the corner
The jury's sleepless
We found your weakness
And it's right outside our door
Now testify
With precision you feed me
My witness I'm hungry
Your temple it calms me
So I can carry on
My slaving sweating the skin right off my bones
On a bed of fire I'm choking on the smoke that fills my home
The wrecking ball rushing
My witness your blushing
The pipeline is gushing
While here we lie in tombs
While on the corner
The jury's sleepless
We found your weakness
And it's right outside your door
Now testify
Mass graves for the pump and the price is set
Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now controls the past
Who controls the past now controls the future
Who controls the present now?
Now testify
Miso, no idea what you're doing, but nobody is ever allowed to take a picture of me ever again. EVER. There's one picture I thought was good-the one right before my beautiful muff . . . .
I forgot I was wearing my glasses for most of Friday night. I don't like pictures of me in my glasses.
What night is A Tribe Called Quest, Jo? I can't find my ticket confirmation and I am trying to sort my upcoming schedule.
9/15
Oh, and those pictures reminded me:
Dipso and Jada are the UNDISPUTED EUCHRE CHAMPS of the OWFL!
Lady A: Did I tell you my speaking in tongues story from the summer?
Priceless.
I would like to know why I squash my chin(s) down to my neck in every damn picture? Seriously, I know I've got a couple, but 16?!
LC, I noticed you left out the pics of our asses. For that I am grateful.
Normally, I would be all "wah! I'm not in any of the pictures!" Because I really am in like hardly any of them. But then I looked at the ones I am in, and I feel OK about it. Apparently my appearance did not need to be documented this weekend. I'm sad we have no pictures of LC in the firetruck bed with the baby blanket and the Spiderman menage a trois. I have very, very few pictures and they are mostly just documenting the damage to my apartment after the party. Probably of no interest to any one except there is one good picture of the sink full of beer, water and a snake.
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