Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Crankypants

I tried to do a google image search for "crankypants" and all it turned up were hundreds of pictures of pissed off looking babies and toddlers. Idiots.

So then I did one for "angry lunch" and liked what I found better. And, I'd be happy to share them with you, if blogger wasn't such a motherfucking whore. So, you'll have to make do with my descriptions of the two images I chose for you.

Image #1 - an open faced bologna sandwich, looks to be on wheat, with angry faces drawn with mustard on the bologna (two faces, one on each piece of bread)

Image #2 - a drawing of a male unicorn in chaps and a star spangled banner t-shirt, flashing a peace sign, with a dialogue bubble that says, "Patriotism doesn't have to be bloodthirsty"

I have no idea what the latter has to do with anger or lunch, but it was funny.

So, you may have deduced that I'm pissy today. Not for any reason, I'm just tired and cranky and I don't feel like doing anything that doesn't involve sitting on my couch, watching tv and napping. Instead, I'm revising a proposal.

Special thanks to the E-que/Shorty family for dinner last night. Pierogies with bacon and sour cream is always a good time. Washed down with a glass or two of Boreskola (what we call Bull's Blood and Coke in Hungary) and I was a happy HT.

For lunch, I'm having two tomatoes - one yellow, one red - with a smidge of salt and balsamic. Blogger will be having my tiny, little fist up its incompetent asshole. What will YOU be having?

46 comments:

Earthquake said...

I'm with you, hater. I'm pissed off today. At a lot of things, not least of which was the lack of even a single suplex in my office vicinity yesterday!

For lunch today, my boss and my boss's boss are taking me out. It better be somewhere nice because I have a feeling they are going to saddle me with her job after her doctors put her on bedrest until she delivers in December.

So, free lunch, but it might be shitty anyway.

I might order the fist-in-asshole special that blogger's getting...

Heliocentric said...

Talk of fisting before lunch getting el Dragon hot. But not too hot for eating pork tamales for lunch today.

Also, Ultimo Dragon a little disapointed nobody post anything to do with hispanic heritage month. Why no taco day? Why no, what's in your burrito post? Why do you people hate my people?

I kid, I kid. Ultimo always feel welcome here.

LizTurtle said...

Ugh. I'm determined to go to Quizno's today to use that coupon. Hm. I should go soon so I don't have to stand in a ridiculous line. I need all the free stuff I can get, b/c I just signed up for my exam - so much f'ing money. Sigh. So since my coupon is not valid with a QUIZNO'S SALAD

LizTurtle said...

Dammit! How did that post? Uh, to continue: coupon not good with QUIZNO'S SALADS, so I'll be getting a sandwich & I'm not sure which one to get. I know I'm going to have to warm it up when I get back. Or I'll have to get one that's good cold. Hm.

LizTurtle said...

Ultimo, in honor of your people's day, I'm going to order the most mexi thing on the Quizno's menu.

LizTurtle said...

Which might be Dorito's.

Heliocentric said...

Good show HT. I saw that the schedule had Uni as today's poster and I wanted to jump in and make a post an hour ago so that my lunch itch could be scratched, but I wasn't about to jump the claim of the new Prez.

Wow, Earthquake, new job responsibilities. That will take you up to like 4 or 5 hours of work per 40 hour work week. Whatever will you do? Especially since you have your first OWFL post coming up soon.

Heliocentric said...

Earthquak,

Ultimo Dragon hand out many suplex yesterday. Not fault of Dragon that he not know where you office is. Many people in pueblo are upset at suplex rampage, but Ultimo Dragon get name in paper, promise plenty of cheering fans in crowd tomorrow night. Booing is like cheering to el Dragon.

The Doctor said...

The officers of my organization are in the office today. So, between whatever scraps come out of the conference room when they’re done with their lunch, and the leftover wraps from yesterday’s b-day luncheon, I should probably be able to put together another freebie.

Heliocentric said...

LT, I likes me the Honey bacon Club they make over there. I mean Bacon is in the title. How can that go wrong?

Or if you choose to honor Ultimo Dragon's people, there's probably some sort of southwest chicken club. Southwest is hispanic enough eh dragon?

Josephus said...

I'm not really annoyed at all today, life is just a big bowl of chocolate covered snazzleberries.

Oh I forgot, I am REALLY annoyed avec travail (codespeak for work).

I have a feeling at any moment my day will turn hellish...waiting for that shoe to drop...and I have to attend a post work-work function so I won't be home till almost 10:00. YAY!!!

So in the meantime I might as well go get some lunch, probably salad from Vie De France again...Sacre bleu!


Did you know....

...on this day in 1973, Billie Jean King beat Bobby Riggs in battle-of-sexes tennis match.

Heliocentric said...

Southwest not hispanic enough MS, but thanks for trying.

maybe doritos nachos will have to do.

Josephus said...

Oh and I had to wear a tie today!

Hooray!

m said...

good to know there is solidarity in anger. I got a call from the person that ruined my last life (or was that two lives ago) last night out of the blue.. thus i proceeded to drink the larger portion of a bottle of elijah craig (and now i am out... sob... i'll have to go back to philly to get more) and stay up til four am.

Now i am hungover tired and pissed and my calamari from downstairs is rubbery and flavorless and i forgot to get ketchup for the dry ass tasting fries so im forced to eat it simultaneously with the calamari just so it has some attribute that differs from cardboard sticks
..
did i mention the calamari was never propperly drained after its oil bath? so its rubbery and not crispy and infact has this mushy oil/breading mixture sticking to only parts of...

ugh.

Josephus said...

chicken salad wrap and asian slaw from Marvelous Market.
wrap - eh...
slaw - mmm...

The Doctor said...

They just cleared the breakfast food out. I’ve got a big bowl of huevos, papas y chorizo smothered in Cholula, which is imported from Mexico and claims to be El sabor autentico de la salsa Mexicana -- I'm doing what I can with what I'm given, UD.

Another good thing about having VIPs in the office, when they come everyone’s told to straighten up their work areas. Mine’s not bad to begin with, but I did have a couple of odd piles of stuff on my desk that contain god knows what from fuck knows when. In one of them was that $50 card for Smith & Wollensky that a co-worker gave me last November. I need to use it soon or it will expire.

Jada said...

I just had a cupcake and now I'm thinking about lunch. Or maybe just bewing another pot of coffee. I have the day off today, and my only big plan is to wander down to Nordstroms on Michigan Ave, exchange two pairs of really gorgeous but totally painful and pointless shoes that someone bought me and maybe get some caramel and cheese popcorn.

No crankiness here.

LizTurtle said...

Thanks for the suggestion, sunshine! I had left before noon, so I didn't read that post 'til I got back. So! I wound up with the turkey bacon guacamole! I thought that sounded reasonably Meh-hee-cano. It was indeed meh. I'm always disappointed in their sammies. And I've said it before, but I'll say it again, they need to crank the heat on their ovens. They are not anywhere close to 'toasty'. Maybe 'warmy'. I also got a caesar side-salad and Dieto Pepsio with my coupono. I know caesar's not particularly mexican, but neither is a green side salad. Oh, and halfway through I noticed what appeared to be a leaf of spinach. So enjoy me while you can, OWFL, I could be dead by tomorrow! And yeah, I finished the salad. I figured: damage has already been done.

And a big thank you to miso for my new panties (for those of you wondering wtf that has to do wl, she tried to give me a wedgie at the Chicago conference and instead just tore the waistband off - I don't think peep is entirely blameless in that incident, either)! They are cute and comfy!! I can't wait for someone to try to give me a wedgie!!

Josephus said...

Be careful what you wish for LT...

HH tomorrow...

LizTurtle said...

Oh, yeah, it coming completely off was all me. Ha ha! I forgot about Dipso's headband! It was so very Jim McMahon!

ANTM! More bitches! More crazy photo shoots!!!! God, wouldn't it be fucking awesome if ANTM & Project Runway got together and did a show?!?!?!?!? I would have a heart attack & die if they did that!

Jada said...

I like how the remains of the panties was left on a bucket in my bathroom to be discovered the next day. The picture of you with the panty waistband in your teeth and stretching it out in a huge triangle with hands is also priceless.

Unknown said...

home battling a cold and being harassed by my needy devil cat. im cranky, but only b/c i've slept TOO MUCH and am so out of it.

lunch today was grilled swiss cheese and tomato with some italian wedding campbell's soup. i tried to incorporate some bacon into the s'wich but it was old. i cooked the hell out of it to see if it could be edible, but alas, i just couldn't do it. i think it was on the border of being bad, but still, i don't need to be out of the office for food poisoning too.

score - cold: 0; la choi: 1 -- i'm kicking this thing's ass with emer-gen-C, zinc, airborne, ginger tea, and whatever crap i have in the house. yowzah!

HaterTot said...

Actually, LT, Ceasar Salad IS indeed Mexican. From Wikipedia:

Caesar salad was invented in 1924 by Caesar Cardini. Cardini was an Italian restaurateur and chef in Tijuana, Mexico. He was living in San Diego but working in Tijuana to avoid the restrictions of Prohibition. There are several stories about the specifics of the salad's creation. The most common is that it resulted from a Fourth of July rush depleting the kitchen's supplies, and Cardini made do with what he had, adding the dramatic flair of a table-side tossing. Another is that it was created for a group of Hollywood stars after a long weekend party.

Most stories say that Cardini had to whip something up from what he had left in his kitchen, and the Caesar salad was the result. The Hotel César still exists in downtown Tijuana, where the original dish is still served.

HaterTot said...

And, I have a VERY IMPORTANT QUESTION FOR ALL OWFLers:

Would yinz bitches be interested in a death pool? Kick in $10 or $20, pick the ten most likely to kick it over the course of a year (dates tbd), and just sit and wait? I was in one for a few years, but I haven't been in awhile. But I love the death pool.

Who's with me??? (I'm willing to organize it, at the outset. After that, it's just a matter of sitting and waiting)

Jada said...

In.

Josephus said...

reading your explanation of the death pool might make a layman think we were betting on which of us (owfl) would die soonest. that may be an interesting lunch topic one day...


And I am in.

LizTurtle said...

Oh yeah!! I've even heard that story before! I think I might have even read the wikipedia entry on it! I was so mexican & I didn't even know! Si hombres!

Y si - yo soy en el poolio muerto. Isn't that usually a New Year's game though? Do you know of someone who's about to die?

HaterTot said...

I like it, Jo. You have a lot of post ideas, yet I never see them happen... Maybe we should call you Czar All Talk No Action?

HaterTot said...

Tip for Miso - do not reveal your picks right now. There are points for being the only one to pick a death. Shhhhhh...

LizTurtle said...

michael douglas is still alive?

HaterTot said...

Not traditionally, however it could be a component we added. If you wait until next week, all the rules will be revealed Miss Eager Beaver.

Heliocentric said...

Unemployment just got a lot cooler

Today I caught a Magnum PI and then the A-Team. Like that was not good enough, but the A team had a guest star. One Hulk Hogan. It is a truely a priceless day.

Anonymous said...

Excuse the rant, but thought it was appropriate for people with crabby pants

Josephus said...

Way to go watchdog.

"I dreamed I was...HARD"

HaterTot said...

Yes, MikeyS - I discovered that even though those cocksuckers at WGN took my two eps of Magnum away, the fine folks at TVLand stepped in to give me the ATeam! When I was home, I caught the A-Team where Della Rease plays BA's mom, and the Team goes to Chicago to beat some mom-harrassing ass. It was awesome!

Unknown said...

ack, now it's cold: 1 and la choi: 1...dammit!

miss chibi may be in town this weekend...DC OWFLers, let's get together friday (after tribe)/saturday night for some drinks. whatdoyasay?

Unknown said...

miss kikidee, kick that cold in the nutz! i'm with you...don't be laid up in bed like me.

Anonymous said...

Speaking of death pools.

Does anyone remember that bit on some show (can't remember what show!) where it was:

Are they dead?....Or Canadian?

It was pretty good, and you'd be surprised how hard it was figuring out if the person in question was dead or canadian.

Josephus said...

Was that Remote Control watchdog?

LizTurtle said...

Hey, miso, if I don't talk to ya - good luck on the move!

I like how in the movie 'Canadian Bacon' all the Americans were played back Canucks & vice versa.

Earthquake said...

I am also happy that John Candy left us Canadian Bacon before he died so we had something to remember other than Westward, Ho!

Well, lunch turned out to be somewhere nice. I had the warm steak salad at Morton's. And the key lime pie. And two cups of coffee. And I convinced my boss and my boss's boss to agree with me.

Don't worry, sunshine. Got out of there with less than 4 additional hours of work per week. That brings me up to 3.5 hours of work per week.

UD: Sorry I didn't send you a Google map for proper suplex delivery. I'll make sure to get that out to you soon. Fortunately, I'm out of the office for the rest of the week so we'll take another shot at it next week.

I'm actually in a death pool. I have my picks on the board next to my desk. You would be surprised how long it takes some of these motherfuckers to die. Of course, when the death pool was initiated, one of the players hit Rosa Parks in the first two weeks. Talk about bad juju.

That said, I would be interested in reading the details. I've never been afraid to bet on the demise of people I've never met.

m said...

miso: yes

jo: thanks, i have my bottle king discount card to stock up on jim tonight

everyone else: have a drink tonight for me and please yell "fuck her"

Deathpool: in

colds: suck but can be a good offensive weapon, tomorrow, when you go to work lick all your coworkers phones.

HaterTot said...

LC: Not in for this weekend.

Re: Canadian Bacon - I love that movie, even though it's a Michael Moore dealio. Remember when that fat ass had a sense of humor?

Re: Death Pool - please email thehatertot@gmail.com (shoulda' had yinz do this before - my bad) and let me know, so I can send stuff around to everyone once I get it set up.

Re: Dead or Canadian? I remember it well, and it was on Remote Control, which I was recently thinking, was one of the best game shows to grace humanity. However, I should alert yinz to something called Starface, which I blogged about HERE.

LizTurtle said...

CANADIAN BACON WAS A MICHAEL MOORE JOINT??? WTF???? Are you kidding? I had no idea! And with that - I'm out - will try to log on at some point tomorrow - should be able to, as the packers aren't packing my 'puter. Or my pooter.

Lady A said...

Bad day overall. Home now, in bed, watching food network...finally 6pm and day is getting better.

Jada said...

69!