I worked for many years as a waitress and a bartender and I have also eaten out countless more times, and it has never ceased to amaze me the lengths people will go to customize their orders. Salad dressing on the side is so common as to practically not be a special order, but I remember many people specifying how the sauteed mushrooms should be cooked or giving other very specific directions on the food preparation.
I don't like raw tomatoes but I will almost never order my sandwich or salad sans tomatoes because I can easily pick them off and would rather just spare the waiter or waitress the hassle of just one more custom order. Now if the ingredient of offense in question will taint the whole dish or can not be easily removed, then I will make the specific request. Crumbled blue cheese in a cobb salad, anchovies on a greek salad or some kind of sauce I find distasteful are good examples of what I mean. In general however, I find the extensive special ordering to be the work of primadonnas and those who have never worked in the service industry.
Surely my fellow lunchers have experienced this and I am certain many of you will also have strong opinions on the matter. How much will you special order? And what is your take on others who do?
And more importantly, what is for lunch today?
49 comments:
i am actually not a picky eater and rarely take things out. but what i do like to do is order something extra. the most common "extra" i ask for is mayo.
lunch today is the angel hair pasta thing i didn't eat yesterday. and also, i had a fat kid special (FKS) this AM to ease a severe hangover so i don't expect to eat my mid-day meal until the rock in my belly digests.
Nice post Jade. And one to which I can also relate. I definitely agree extensive special requests are the work of primmadonnas, and such behavior by a first date would always make it the last date.
I think that special ordering represents a contiuum of the level of maintenance associated with a person.
One special request=regular maintenance
Two special requests=high maintenance
Three or more special requests=DIVA TIME- RUN! SAVE YOURSELF!
As a waiter I also saw many special requests. Many were reasonable, like "hold the jalepenos", others not reasonable, like "i'll take the salad but with no chicken, peas, or onions, extra tomatos and the dressing on the side. Oh, and can you use blue corn tortillas instead of regular?". This ain't Burger King bitch! The salad was designed to be a certain way, don't fuck with it!
I was a waiter/bartender for years as well, I typically didn't mind special orders to a certain extent. If you don't want something or don't like it, ask for it to be taken off or substituted. No point in wasting something. I figure that the customer is paying for the meal...it should be done the way they want it done. In the same respect though, if you are THAT picky and request several changes and will be a pain in the arse about it, then just stay the F%#& in and don't eat out...EVER because you will annoy someone enough that they will do something to your food back in the kitchen!!
Like Tafkalc, I am not a picky girl and there are very few things in this world that I won't eat. So if you want to cook it up and serve it to me...I'll eat whatever you bring out! I do admit though that I am a condiment girl...I love me some sauces. Whenever I order chicken tenders I will request three sauces on the side: blue cheese, buffalo wing sauce and honey mustard. If I'm really fickle I'll ask for a fourth, ranch, especially if it is buttermilk. Does that count as multiple requests or just one...??
I love it when you boys talk about working at my favorite restaraunt of all time. And how dare someone mess with the Topopo salad! It is perfect just the way it is, and people who order the half order are big pussies.
I'm glad to see the OWFL is a pretty easy going group as a whole so far, but it really isn't that surprising.
The Bride - shards of glass is unacceptable, really there is no excuse. They should have comped your meal at the very least, especially after the initial mess up in addition to broken glass in a shot.
bride, did you ask them to hold the glass shards? That may have helped.
The most common foreign object to turn up at Peep's and my old restaurant was rubber bands from the salad packaging. I'd treat it like a lucky bonus, congratulations! you found the prize and just won a free salad!
Not sure about lunch today, salad perhaps? Seems to be my theme of the day.
Back on special ordering, I hate it so much that if someone at my table does it, I sink down in my seat and hide behind my menu.
I like how Pasta Mia in DC says in their menu, "No changes or substitutions", and something to the effect of "We know-a-what's good for you-ahh, so shut up ya face n' eat-up like a good customer already..."
And Jade, customers who order the 1/2 topopo are actually getting a pretty good deal, because as i'm sure Peep will attest, its actually about 75% the size of a full topopo.
And I actually used actually twice in the same sentence, and that's actually pretty lame I think...
I had a waiter just a few weeks ago forget about my entire meal. He didn't come back to the table for about 45 minutes. When I mentioned it to him he said "oh I'm sorry, would you like a free dessert?"...hmmm...usually dessert comes AFTER dinner...which I never received...
It was at a family style restaurant so my friend had ordered a big plate of pasta that she shared with me so it wasn't as if I starved that night. But, when I said no to the dessert I thought maybe he would comp the cheap carafe of wine or something. He did forget a whole entire meal...not just a glass of water or a side of dressing!! But nope...it was the tiramisu or nothing at all.
Very thought provoking post today. thanks.
Personally I have things that I don't like and like some of you, I am content to just pick off the pickables and put up with whatever else comes out of the kitchen.
Before I was held up at gunpoint and swore never to work with people's food ever again, I worked as a final prep cook at a mexican food joint. From the service perspective, I know that early in my career, I hated special requests because I hadn't learned the precise order of operations for making the fucking taco salad, so special requests really burned my tortilla. Once I learned that mexican food is basically a shuffle of meat, beans cheese and green stuff, I didn't mind special requests. 'you want that double wrapped and deep fried, and served on your frisbee to save the Earth from using one more paper plate, fine with me.'
The one group that really used to piss me off was the vegans. Those fuckers. I know what it means to be vegan and I know they want no meat and no dairy. But it was never enough to say 'could you make that for a vegan please?' No these stupid hippies had to waste my time explaining in a very preachy manner what it meant, how long they've been doing it, why they do it, why I should do it, how it's good for you, for the earth for societ and for the organic farmers who are being muscled out by large corporate farmers using poisin to grow irresponsible modified crops, and blah, blah, blah. Just shut up and let me scoop your beans on to your frisbee and get the hell put of here. My little revenge on these douchebags was that sometimes some cheese would fall in to the vat of 'vegan friendly'salsa in the walk in.
I am sorry if any of you are vegans. But if you are, don't preach to me. It's my taco, I'll eat it how I damn well please, wrapped in bacon and stuffed with sour cream.
In light of that, I think I'll go for a collossal burrito for lunch today
I'm sort of special order bipolar, and it very much depends on my mood and where I am. It takes me twenty minutes to order a burger IF I want it my favorite way. But sometimes, I don't care all that much.
I actually have many things to say on this matter, and in fact Jada and I have discussed this very issue at some length, off blog.
However, I am off to Teatro for lunch with my Board member/fmr. boss - but let's be honest, he's pretty much my benefactor. He will order for me (both food and wine), and I will eat whatever it is, despite the fact that it will be fattening and bad for me and I will love it.
There will be no special ordering for me today. I will report back on what was for lunch.
mmm...topopo.
Bravura post jade.
I rarely ask for things to be taken out of my order, and it annoys me when people do for the most part except I get it when people have food alergies and really can't have the garlic or onions or they might die or have a spontaneous gastrointestinal explosion. Speaking to the former waiters/waitresses, were you and the cooks more accomodating if someone spelled out a food allergy before asking for the special order?
My extras are usually the obvious, "extra mayo", "heavy on the peppers", "don't skimp on the avocado". Recently I've been ordering braunschweiger and salami subs from Cap Grounds which don't exactly appear on the menu. They've done a great job so far.
At Angles I've gotten into the routine of getting salad instead of fries with my burger. And at the Parkway/Grubb rd. Deli I usually order extra sides which seems to give the waitresses pause, ("a side of tomatoes and a side of turkey sausage") but they always come through.
Having lunch with co-workers at The Iron Gate. Will report later.
Hmmm...I do remember one drunken night at Angles when I ordered a bacon cheeseburger. The bartender brought it back to me...but I didn't see any bacon...I told him to "Take that shit back"...little did I know that they ran out of bacon so they gave me bacon pieces in a ramekin. When you are not sober, you don't look for bacon in a ramekin when it is supposed to be on top of your burger. I felt awful and gave him a hug with several apologies.
What really irked me as a bartender were the stupid fuckos who were like "there's not enough liqour in my drink". I was a generous pourer, if all you want is liquor then don't pussy out and order yourself a drink straight up and suck it down like a man.
Food allergies are an exception and people should be able to make all kind of requests.
One eater at Peep's and my old restaurant neglected to ask about the pipian sauce, the primary ingredient of which is peanuts. The sauce is thick, and looks and smells like peanuts. The eater was allergic to peanuts, and asked AFTER consuming all of it if there were peanuts in the sauce, and the server replied "its almost all peanuts". Well there was a hospital right across the street, but the eater was also a christian scientist, and went home, and then died...
So don't be embarrassed about pickiness around allergies, cuz it could kill you...
Lunch today is from home, turkey on wheat (lettuce, tomato, red onion, clover sprouts and honey mustard) with a green bean, wax bean and edamame salad with a red wine vinegrette.
I had a glass in my drink experience recently, too!! Watch out, HT (probably too late, she's probably already gone) - at Teatro last time, my vino had glass shards in the bottom! Which I didn't notice until I'd had a couple of sips. No problem really, since I didn't throw it back & I noticed way before I was done. The waiter comped all of our drinks that night, which was like 4 or 5 glasses of wine, a latte, and a dirty martini, which she sent back for more dirty b/c it wasn't dirty enough.
As far as special orders, I don't do it too much. My big thing is salad dressing on the side. I'm ordering a salad b/c I'm trying to be healthy. I don't want it drowning in a cup & a half of dressing. Although at fancy-ish restaurants (like Teatro!) I won't even do that, b/c it seems kind of cheesy. Hum. The only other consistent special order I remember doing was when I lived in Bermuda - I would order my rainbow roll without yellowtail, b/c the yellowtail was never very fresh (yes! in Bermuda! you'd think the fish would be ultra-fresh, but you'd be wrong) & I'd always have the shits later that day. Oh, and when I was on Atkins, I was all about substituting salad for fries or whatever. But usually I'll just pick around whatever I don't like. I figure I like spit in my food even less than whatever it is I'm special ordering out.
Lunch today has to be a freaking salad. I ate a ton of fries & mussels last at Cafe Belga, and they didn't even have the asparagus fritters that I took my mom there for. Very disappointing. Well. Fantastic, until we got the dessert menu & then it was very disappointing.
Oh my god, Watchdog! That's a horrible story! And what a moron. If I were allergic to anything on top of being a Christian Scientist, I would make doubly sure that my food wasn't allergy-inducing. Maybe he was suicidal & this was his method of choice.
And I meant to say earlier - Miu, what the hell is 'light bacon'??
Aaaah, ok. I was hoping against hope they'd come out with a better-for-you bacon that wasn't turkey-based. Does anyone remember 'Sizzlean'? Why sizzle fat when you can Sizzlean? Do they even make that anymore?
I thought of another semi-high maintenance thing I sometimes do. I learned this from my mom. Note: this almost never happens in the South. Sometimes a restaurant will make a batch of ice tea & then serve it until it's done. Now, in the Yankee states, people don't drink ice tea like they do in the south, so sometimes you'll get an old batch and you can tell it's turned, it's tastes kind of rotten somehow. Well, I hate when you ask if the ice tea is freshly made & they claim it's made fresh every day & you clearly get 3-day-old ice tea. Argh! Certainly not the waiter's or waitress's fault, but annoying nonetheless, b/c you have to go through the whole 'yeah, this ice tea is turned, can i have something else' & sometimes they'll be like 'oh, i'll bring you another one' & you're like 'if it's from the same batch it will still be just as bad, so nevermind'. I also hate going through that rigamarole with flat soda. Ugh. Nothing worse than a flat Diet Coke.
not on my shift peep. I was on vacation. That started a long streak for me that whenever I went on vacation, somebody either died where I worked or was fired.
I did make a bad joke about it to one of the backcook dudes, saying "serve up some of that killa sauce", and he got all pissed off. Apparently he was the one who cooked the order and also has respect for the dead...
I did kill a mouse on one of my shifts though, it was under booth 2, with a patron seated in booth 3. I pretended to be sweeping and tried crusing it with a broom, but it only screached in pain, so I had to "sweep vigorously" and whapped it about 10 times before it stopped moving. Swept it into the dustpan and no patrons were the wiser. Sometimes being a manager is a tough job, sometimes you have to kill...
And yes, the owner was (and presumably still is) a Mexican Hitler. His drug abuse fluctuated between cocaine and heroin. It was great when he was on heroin cuz we never saw him. When on cocaine he would sweat the cooks over the exact amount of cheese to use and threaten to fire anybody that moved, or didn't move. That of course was when he wasn't scoring on underage chicks. Best/worse line of his: "You're only as young as the girls you feel." He was over 50 I believe.
You think that's bad? Remember the time I won a date to Mexico with Gary Coleman?
Just kidding
Watchdog, i thought you were kidding about the dude checking out. Dang. i thought it was bad when I was a lifeguard and that kid who looked like Ben Severs from Growing Pains got his eyeball knocked out with a tennis ball. Man the workplace can be disturbing.
So much to comment on.
First things first, The Iron Gate is a very picturesque joint. The ladies of OWFL would probably love it. I had the gazpacho and then the lamb shank. Dessert was pistachio ice cream. Overall pretty decent. The ice cream was the best.
Unicorn thanks for bringing "suck it" back to the blog. You used "suck it down" as opposed to jade's preferred "suck it up". However you said "suck it down like a man" which begs all sorts of questions for HH tonight.
Death is a very sad thing, so I love laughing at it, and adding in a swipe at religion (which seems to be becoming an OWFL thing) makes death even funnier...and sadder. Thanks watchdawg and LT.
LT whenever I think of bacon, which is often, my mind automatically conjures up the old commercial that uses the tune "Gonna pick up some bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never ever ever let you forget you're a man!"
I think it was for a hair product "angeline" or something.
And speaking of Mexican Hitlers, am I the only one who has given someone a second look when they say "I'm German but I grew up in Argentina." It's happened to me more than twice and each time I think of the film "Apt Pupil".
Nice post Jade.
I'm not picky about what I eat the first time. I will eat it as the chef intended. After you "screw da pooch" on the first time though ...
oh and that comes from experience in the same field that you were in Jade.
I loved\hated being a waiter. I watched "Waiting" the other day with Ryan Reynold (modern Maddog Murphy) and Luis Guzman (one of my favorite B actors ... this guy always works).
I loved the hell outta that movie.
BTW I did Jo's job for the day ... I related the topic to pop culture.
Just got back from a two hour lunch. Seriously - I should have more of those. I decided on the way over that I didn't want MyBenefactor to order for me, b/c he would inevitably order a risotto, not on the menu, and I really couldn't bear the calories. So, I preempted it (and he wasn't at all offended)and told him I really wanted the grilled shrimp (head on!) caesar. He of course had them whip up some sort of risotto that he "always has." We shared a sauvignon blanc (his choosing) and I even skipped dessert. Though, I had two pieces of the yummy tomato bread.
I special ordered nothing. Generally, in nicer restaurants, I think special ordering is wrong - just get something else and don't fuck with the chef's vision. At the other end of the spectrum, don't special order at say, McDonald's. (though, I don't order fast food well, as I really don't know what's on the menu or what the difference between a Big Mac and a Quarterpounder is) However at those in between places, you can bet that I will order my burger "as rare as the kitchen will make it - I prefer raw but warm on the inside" with LTO, swiss, then on the side, please bring me bbq sauce (in a ramekin) and bleu cheese salad dressing (in a ramekin) on the side. If you don't have all of those things, then I will have it... and on and on. But really, I save that for rare occasions. I really do try to not be a pain in the ass, but I don't always succeed. But, I don't send back steak or drinks - ever. My meat is often cooked more than I would prefer, but I just don't send it back. I understand that the kitchen has it's own concerns sending me a mooing slab. And drinks? No. Eff that. I made myself the most disgusting drink last night - could easily have thrown it out. But, with Peep's encouragement, drank it anyway. If your drink isn't strong enough - just get a shot on the side. Erg. Sending drinks back is horrid. I once choked down a vodka and, what I later learned to be palinka (Hungarian moonshine, essentially). Turns out they were storing the hooch in an old tonic bottle behind the bar, and the dude poured me a glass full to go w/ my vodka. But I drank it, then asked questions later. The guy couldn't believe I drank it. I don't remember much after that.
I was thinking, there are times when it actually behooves you to special order. This is especially the case in places that have "secret menus. The most obvious place in my mind being In N Out burger, where the norm is 'special orders'. Same thing in a lot of nicer restaraunts. I've been to more than a few Chinese joints where if you are in the know and order "The Sesame Chicken, but with shrimp instead" you end up getting the best they have to offer. In steak places too I'll often ask them to prpare my ribeye a special way (usually by seasoning it up a bit more before cooking) and the waiter takes pride in getting it done right for you. At alot of fast food joints the only way you're sure to get a fresh burger is by special ordering. Especially at those rest stop eateries where they have 35 whoppers already wrapped and waiting for the masses. I'm quick to special order a whopper with cheese bacon and extra mayo just so I don't get the coagulated mess that's been marinating for three hours.
Thanks peep...Nazis, I hate Nazis.
And of course, " I hate Illinois Nazis.'
On the drinks tip, perhaps peep will remember ol Bill' V the bartender, bald ex-con with a mean streak. His technique for drinks that were sent back cuz they were too weak was to take their straw, dip it into the vermouth bottle, put his finger on top of the straw thus using the magic of hydrodynamics to hold it in there, and then place it back in the drink. When they took the first sip they'd get a blast of vermouth, and he'd be like, "strong enough for ya" as they gagged it down.
ex-cons have a certain way about them
I just got back from the baby shower for someone in my division. And in 12 minutes an office-wide happy hour starts! Yay! What time does BB HH start tonight?
I like how there have been several posts that are along the lines of "The only thing I ever special order is [minor change]. God, I fucking hate people who special order." Hee hee!
Spoilsport, I get the bacon thing, but why hot tea? Is it because you have to carry 2 things to the table v. 1 for coffee? Although you still have to get cream and sugar to them, too.
HT, I agree - top end places & low end places are where I never bother special ordering. And for what it's worth, the difference between a Big Mac and 1/4 Lb.er is special sauce. Delicious, wonderful, evil, special sauce.
And watchdog - love that mouse story! So funny! I'm going to be much more observant about manic sweeping behaviour next time I eat out . . . .
Unicorn, Didn't Mr. Unicorn used to tell a story about a big burly biker dude who would come in to the restraunt and eat a huge steak and then send the last bite back?
BB @ HH ASAP.
LT,
I had a friend who worked at the Golden arches and he told me the recepie for the secret sauce. Are you ready for the recepie? You can make it at home.
Mayo
Ketchup
Relish.
Now the secret is out.
Not sure if anybody is aware, but today is Hitler's birthday. It is also the aniversary of the columbine school shooting. And for those who never outgrew college... Happy 420. Pull one for me.
It's not exactly special ordering but it is in the same vein and it absolutely chaps my ass is when people order elaborate mixed drinks in a divey bar or a bar that is packed to capacity and people are 4 deep at the bar waiting to get served. That happened recently to me at this Big 10 bar during the tourney. The place was PACKED and there was only 2 bartenders, 99% of the people were drinking bottled beer but when I went up to the bar 1 bartender was making some fucking chocolate martini or some shit and it was taking forever. I rather loudly said to the guy next to me "who the hell would order something like that in this place right now? What a jagoff!" The GUY [seriously I thought for sure it had to be a girl] next to me says rather indignantly, "that would be me." I laughed and told him again that he was a jagoff. The bartender heard the whole exchange and then got me my couple bottles of Bud and jaeger shots and told me they were on him because he hated the guy too, but couldn't say it.
In nin minutes it'll be 4:20 on 4/20!!!
Somebody somewhere is giggling.
I just posted about 420 day on my blog and adjusted the time of the post to be 4:20, and then I came here and see that it has already been mentioned.
Stoners ...
I'd giggle if I could stop coughing or see straight.
Dude you are SO high!
I'll admit to smoking before work this morning. but I'm not high right now.
Oh...sunshine...you would be if you still were in a 10 min. biking distance to home...
And I think Mr. Uni had some story of some dude eating a whole steak then sending them back...although I don't recall the details. We'll ask at HH tonight.
Mikey, I always thought the recipe was like on the Simpson's: "We need more special sauce. Go put this mayonnaise out in the sun."
Does anyone else think it should be a crime to call a gathering a 'happy hour' when there is no beer?? Yes, my office 'happy hour' was what most sane people would call an 'ice cream social'. WTF?!?!? I should be 1 or 2 sheets to the wind by now!
LT, it is NOT happy hour if there is no alcohol. The whole concept was created by bars to get people drinkin'. Ice cream is nice, but I think that only qualifies for "Content Hour"
Thank you! I'm glad I've been justified. I expected nothing less from you guys! Sniff!
Hee hee - 'content hour' . . .
I agree LT, happy hour = alcohol. Specifically, cheap alcohol.
I am about to go to HH. My plan is to have 2 drinks (max) and then leave to go the gym.
Stop laughing.
I'm serious.
And by putting it here, I HAVE to do it. Now it's a matter of pride.
I actually have a boatload of work to do, too. Ugh. Damn 2 hour lunches.
Okay, so I had three drinks - I did an hour on the elliptical after.
It was the least I could do, considering the array of treats brought to HH.
1/2 price after six - when there's no time to bake...
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