Today's post is dedicated to Lies and the Lying Liars who Lie them.
Lie about your lunch and then later remorsefully tell us what you're really going to eat.
WFL you gullible fools?
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16 servings of cheap pilsner last night? Attracted to a 6” seafood sandwich you saw being ordered and need someone to talk to? Feel like something pasta-y, but not exactly? This is what terrorizes our nation’s workers every day. It is ever-present, in the back of our minds--riding on the train, up the elevator, in that meeting. But these are simply facets of the one great question. The answer to which must be provided before we can ever grasp contentment. What’s for lunch?
71 comments:
Like I read that shit. Sorry, I don't care if a book tastes like champagne and cupcakes and induces orgasms just by opening it - as soon as it's featured on Oprah, I refuse to have anything to do with it.
Oh, and in case you haven't noticed, I Hate Everyone Today.
That's a lie if I ever heard one...
Bite me, Marjan.
Hee hee - I love hater's new guy.
TGIF. I'm having a healthy salad with low-fat ranch dressing on the side.
And Word, Spoilsport. It's like the fools who won't eat burgers (w/ or w/o 2 bottom buns) b/c Oprah Won't Eat Beef anymore. Yargh! I, too, am skeptical of any book on her book list. Of course, I have a ginormous pile of books that I've gotten halfway through & haven't finished . . . so what does that say about me.
You know, I read the book and I liked it. I honestly don't give a rat's ass if some of it was fabricated. Ethos be damned. I liked reading it. Fucking sue me.
I'm going to eat fat free ricotta with splenda, tuna salad stuffed in a tomato and a big old hunk of blue cheese and then maybe drink a diet iced tea.
I didn't write a recap yesterday. I am preoccupied with writing a big post for my blog.
I have abandoned my hate. I have re-embraced the love. I want to spread the love. I want to make love with all of Chicago. It feels so much better when the love returns. Either that, or I am just really horny.
Yeah, Hater! The thing is, it's not like I hate the books & don't want to finish them. I just put them down in weird places, or I'm reading it on vacation & it never makes it out of my travel bag or something. The other night I was thinking about books I have to finish & I came up with at least 6. I'm sure there's others I've forgotten about. And don't get me started on the books I haven't started at all!
Jade, are you sure that is Splenda(TM)?
Today is jewish diner food. I'm going to get a NANCY (Lox Eggs and Onions .. which is usually a LEO but does any WFLer know why it is a Nancy instead?)
My teeth have just been whitened but I'm going to get a cup of thick syrupy coffee to go with it .... mmmmmmmmmm
WFL?
Hater, I am such a hypocrite. I go on and on about the dangers of artificial foods, suntanning and crystal meth and coke, but I smoke a pack of marlboro reds a day like my life depended on it.
Did any one recieve a package recently? HMMMMMMMMM?
(Lying...I like it. I REALLY like it. A LOT! I'm not going to do it now, but this might be the last honest thing I ever say.)
I have a friend who is moving to South Dakota next week, and tonight is the farewell. To say that this could get messy would be far beyond an understatement. I need a base, and I’ve always felt the best base out there is fried chicken.
I really don’t know where I can find good fried chicken in DT Chi-digs. I should know this. I feel almost obligated to know this. If anyone has a recommendation, glad to hear it. I'll check back once before heading out. Otherwise, I’m going out there to look for it. Will report later.
After tonight, and I’ve got a pact set up with someone already, it’s Detox February.
I recently gave someone a book I never finished. I didn't want to finish it. I didn't finish East of Eden for years. Self flagellation? Whatev. Cathy Ames could be my favorite character ever. Started my first Oprah book the other day. Hasn't picked up, yet, but I'm expecting good things.
Who couldn't use something like this:
http://www.dailytech.com/article.aspx?newsid=475
Uh, Uncle Sparkle, you live in Hyde Park ... do you really not know what the best fried chicken in Chicago is? It's not down town, but it is so worth the trip.
Crap, did I just break the anonymity pledge with my last comment?
"Self flagellation? Whatev." LIE!
so you get it? you could be a lying sneak.
I love Splenda. You people don't know what you're missing. It's magical and wonderful and tasty goodness.
I don't however like it in my precious diet coke. I prefer that to be untainted and in its original form.
I did not receive a package, but I received notice that someone tried to deliver one to me, but I wasn't there. I'm supposed to be receiving it at my office today. Of course, I'm leaving in 5 minutes, and won't be back until later tonight, but hopefully I'll get it them.
I'm afraid of mystery packages. The last mystery package I received was full of some of the scariest things I've ever seen.
Effit. I appear to be blogging. I just got the plan for tonight and the rendezvous time is later than I thought. This is going to allow me to go home, wherever the fuck that is, and get me some H’sw/S&P. Yippee.
Of course this allows me to address Hater’s concern (thank you) and go bready for lunch. Ricobene’s.
Everything's perfect! I'm so not horny.
Be afraid, HT, be very afraid.
If I know I'm going out for a big night, I prefer the pizza, or, even better, a nice pasta dish with some bread on the side. I don't know about fried chick'n though. Hm. Too much protein. I guess if it was that super-bready type, it might be ok. Like the General Tso's I had yesterday . . . mmm . . . heaven on rice.
Didn't I hear that Jesus got cancelled?
I tried a coke zero a couple weeks ago. I think it has hate in it.
Jade, were you talking about Harold's?
Got into work a teensy bit late today but quickly charmed my boss by presenting her with some Tom Tucker's Mint Gingerale (HT strikes again).
Having lunch with said boss and a beloved coworker who I will call 'broccoli'. Lunch may include some hard drinks. (That's a lie, it definently will include some hard drinks).
In reference to Uncle Sparkle's evening out to celebrate someone we'll call, hmm... how about Iscariot, I truly (no lie) wish I was in Chicago for the festivities. Josephus @ age 22 would be in full effect. Thank G_d I am not going to be there. Sparky, the third round is on me, make sure all those idiots know, I'll send you a check (lie).
I tried to read 'Atlas Shrugged' and 'The Fountainhead' and had to stop reading so I could give suicide the full attention it deserved. I decided against suicide and continuing to read those crimes against humanity. I will be hiding under my desk for the next hour so as not to get hit by the hate...
Hater, I love goat cheese so much, I have contemplated moving to Australia to start a goat cheese business/Shiraz vineyard. But I agree with you on vanilla scent. real vanilla is wonderful, and vanilla might be my favorite ice cream flavor but vanilla candles are gross.
Sparks, duh, of course I meant harold's.
Jo, the Fountainhead made me want to gouge my eyes out I hated it so much. Ayn Rand is one of the most overrated authors i can think of. Pretentious hipsters always say it is life changing. Fuck that, it sucks.
The hate bomb is ticking...
The air is electric already, Jo.
And you don't have to send me a check (lie)!
Jade the only reason I attempted to read them is because a dear friend had suggested them to me.
And I gotta tell you, from what I hear, she looks really nice today.
I expect a full off blog report Sparkles. Will "Travis Bickle" be there?
"And I gotta tell you, from what I hear, she looks really nice today."
What? Huh?
Alright lovers and haters all, I'm off to pick up my fat free dairy products and artificial sweeteners, than I am going to the office. Happy Friday, people! The weekend is almost here!
xoxo
love love love love love love love love love love love love love love!
Ok, Jo, I assume you do not stand and blog, so I’m just going to come out with the news:
Ricobene’s...gone. Relocated? Remodeling? Maybe. No further information available. I’ll begin investigating right after this comment. (My HMO head doctor just called. I am totally going to talk about OWFL (anonymously) next session. I’ll let you know what his Rogerian-subscribing ass has to say.) (Iscariot just called to see if I wanted to lunch. I just got back with food, but I told him that I would ditch it and meet him. No biggie he said, we’ll do it Monday.) Phone is now on DND.
Anyway, yeah, gone. I walked right up to the door without noticing, and they have those weird doors, so I thought I was confused. Then I couldn’t find any doors. Then I just paced in small circles, nearly spinning, on the sidewalk for a while. (Nevada Bob’s golf shop is gone, too, which historically would not have upset me at all. However, I’ve decided recently that I might just deserve a new driver, so I was planning on that place being handy to accommodate the extraordinary whim that I'll need to allow me to spend several hundred dollars on a piece of sports equipment. I swung my brother’s Ping G2 8.5 stiff once last summer and SANTA LUCIA IN THE WOODSHED!!!) Then a Joliet cop car drove by. Dazed, I made it over to the Illinois center. I may have walked straight through traffic. Sbarro. I guess that’s a serviceable back up. Chicken spinach and mozzarella calzone, wet. I hate their red pepper and parmesan system. It’s right there at the checkout…you have to stuff the change in your pocket just to get out of the way of the people behind you. If not little packets of pepper and cheese, at least a separate station. I was not in battle mode, though. A lot to digest.
watchdog...nice to see you.
Hey Jo, I read Atlas Shrugged and the Fountainhead in college and I was a real dick for several months afterwards. Then I realized that Ayn Rand is a fascist (the 'Y' should have tipped me off) and I came back from the dark side.
Anyhoot, after 2 super busy weeks, i'm finally free of this work madness. Should be back to normal the next few weeks. Huzzah!
I just had a half a bagel, not really lunch. Still hungry, but also thinking of just cutting work early and eating then.
anyways, hello WFL blog! its been a while...
Oh man, I love truffle oil & goat cheese. And I loved vanilla candles . . . in 1993! Man, talk about dated. Although I think I still have one rolling around my house somewhere. The cheapskate in me hates to throw away a perfectly good candle, even though I'll probably never burn it again. Especially after I fish it out from under some furniture & it's been swallowed by a foot-long dust bunny.
I have this bottle of vanilla (the real stuff, not that McCormick's crap you buy in the grocery store) from Mexico. It is the yummiest smelling stuff - you just want to take a big swig of it. Of course, that would taste like poison. But god, it smells good. We used to buy these bottles (they are wine-bottle sized. Seriously. They last for years) down in Mexico when we visited my grandparents in south Texas. Now that they're dead, I don't know what I'm going to do when I run out.
Wait.
Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers are currency? RICO?!?!!
Don't get excited. Haven't you seen those stupid Wendy's commercials? "You look like a million chicken nuggets." What, greasy & lumpy??
Speaking of lying, I just received a voice message from a person, the essence of which was a very thinly-veiled threat to beat me up tonight if I did not stop telling the truth about a lie he’s telling. I have absolutely no intention of recanting, and he most certainly can pummel me to smithereens. You sure you can’t make it, Jo?
Ok...gonna work now.
RICOBENE'S!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Horrible news Sparky. And I was all prepared to blame that horrid golf shop till you told me they had closed as well.
Who is threatening you?
Chicken club and a Yeungling at Mackey's for lunch.
On my way to evacuate in 3 minutes.
Welcome back Watchdog!
Are you as thirsty as I am?
Who else has he made read the comic book?
Hater, you LOVED that comic book.
And I tried to like Rand, for YOU , I tried. It just didn't take.
CSR said you look nice today.
It is the day of the Liar hater.
And you LOVED the comic.
Jo, you big liar. Hard drinks does not include one Yuengling. Unless it was 'one' keg.
CSR, is this your doing?? I see your name is in the url! This reminds of that article Jo posted yesterday...
http://csr.blogs.mcdonalds.com/default.asp
"she is already pissed off that she has to come to Detroit this weekend for a Wedding shower that my mom is throwing for her."
Now that is some impressive hate.
"Master P must be eliminated tonight."
Jack is representin' the OWFL posse.
Does anyone remember when Lisa Rinna was truly hot and played Billie on Days? And when she left she was replaced by Krista Allen.
I loved Billie.
hater we all know you're a huge sami & lucas fan...
I think I got you back, didn't I, Jo? OSC? Awwwwwwww GEEK OUT!
CSR Crayzee.
Details on my impending pummeling off-blog, Jo.
Kristen was hot.
As far as I can tel Frankie is being egged on by Jack's ghost to get busy with Jennifer.
What was that whole business with the Salem Serial killer and the Island? And how come Bo Brady has like 12 kids? One of whom apparently is an awful driver.
hater use the power of dvr...
Does it crack anyone else up that Northwest airline's website is NWA.com? Does Dr. Dre approve of this?
http://www.chicagoist.com/
Days will NEVER jump the shark!!
I thought that Marlena's posession would kill it. But on she goes. Have you ever tried to watch Passions? It's where Days writers try out all their whackiest ideas. I have seen one full episode of that show and it had a Clue style murder mystery, a witch, a ghost, three hot girl on girl kisses and a teleportation all within an hour. Brilliant!
Nobody asks you about the Flying Spaghetti Monster???
I love it when people walk out of a bathroom and say "It smells like shit in there!"
I think I'll go burn some popcorn and not let anyone know it was me. That could be mildly entertaining. I think I have a package around here somewhere. Ohp, there's that damn sexy pirate again. No popcorn. Oh well.
Thanks Jo!
I love the FSM so much, I bought a Jesus-fish FSM for my car. I need to clean my car so I can put it on.
It amazes me where poop can end up inside of a toilet bowl. I'm physiologically standard, I guess. I drop right in the water. (Very little backsplash, too. I got a bunch of Greg Louganises in there.) But sometimes you look down and ... how did it get THERE?!? I think I have at least one alien co-worker. That's all I can figure.
Original What Was For Lunch?
I love the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Was it the fat one, Jo? B/c I don't think I'd care much to see that shower scene. Even if I were a guy & she was hot.
Hope is a lifer.
And she's hot.
I think she was in a movie with one of the Baldwin boys.
There may have been a shower scene...
Hope was solo in the shower scene. The movie was with Billy Baldwin.
Rick Springfield & John Stamos!
Oh, wait. You said films.
Anne Heche. She played the twins on Another World.
Robin Wright Penn was on Santa Barbara.
I think Rick Springfield is back on GH.
Oooooh, I think you're right, Jo. What a fall from grace.
In the recesses, I recall Kevin Bacon may have been something pre-Footloose. I remember a friend's mother saying something about it when we she dropped us off to see it. That's when everything changed.
Happy Friday OWFL! This is a quick shout out to hater, HT, CSR and Jo...this gracious group of lovlies have requested that I do a name swap...not only a new name dare I say...but I feel like I have a whole new attitude...it's a brand new day WFL'ers...a brand new day....
BTW- I think HT should have some sort of Farewell Party or Last Supper of some sort for her soon to be dearly departed boobies...
Off to Bravo Bravo!
All DCites are welcome to join for TGIF imbibing.
I LOVE it Unicorn!
Come to Bravo!
Everyone is gone when I just get back to heap loads of gratitude on The Jade and Uncle Sparkle for the bestest best get well package ever.
I can't believe I missed this extensive Days conversation. I've watched since I was in utero. I've mentioned that my mom used to write letters to their writers to point out glaring continuity problems etc. Oh, how I could wax on.
So, I'm not allowed to drink... but, I'd like to go see everyone at happy hour. What to do... wonder if one drink would cause me to bleed out on Wednesday...
Unicorn - I LOVE it.
Er... there's too much here to respond to at this late hour.
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