Thursday, January 26, 2006

HaterTot 4 - DC Department of Traffic Adjudication 0

Yet again, I emerge from traffic court victorious, bringing my lifetime record to 4-0. When are these people going to learn? They really should just stop issuing me tickets, because much like John Gotti and Bill Clinton, I am the Teflon Moving Violator. (parking violations are another matter entirely) I was in and out in a half hour, and into work by 8:30 - an unheard of time for this girl. My dilemma now is that victory always makes me hungry, but I need to hold off until I go and get bloodwork later this morning.

I also have the option of having a free lunch today, to go along with my free dinner, later tonight. The catch is, I'd have to drive out to the 'burbs and "work". I'm just not sure it's worth it, since my distaste for the suburbs is well documented here. At least it's the Maryland suburbs, but still. I've still got magically moist chicken in the fridge here, so we'll see how I feel in a few hours.

For now, I'm going to sip my Diet Sprite Zero and contemplate the world of options out there and available to me. What are you contemplating, fellow WFLers?

(oh, and, I "worked" - by that I mean had dinner at a Board Member's house - late last night, and didn't record or watch Lost. Anyone with my email and can hook me up with a summary, I'd be mucho grateful.)

70 comments:

Unknown said...

this is quite a dilemma HT. i am witness that the moist chicken is definitely tasty. it is very much like the chicken you'd make if you were doing mole enchiladas...one of the most divine dishes of the universe.

i too and attending this MD 'burb soiree. however, i'm missing the lunch entirely. not to fear, i'll find some tasty local lunch. right now, i'm enjoying a sesame bagel w/veggie cream cheese from abp. something about the veggie CC is tasty...perhaps it's the chunks 'o carrot throughout.

i also stopped at caribou coffee so i did a two stop brekkies! i'm out of control fellas.

LizTurtle said...

How did you get out of the ticket, HT? Did the cop just not show up? I hear certain jurisdictions are notorious for that.

dizkonekdid said...

LT,

Maybe like superman to kryptonite .. police are to boobs?

The Doctor said...

Good morning, Spartan bitches.
Yesterday and tommorrow, we are bitches. Today? You are bitches.

I've never been ticketed for a moving violation, though I've been pulled over 12 times. I just bat my baby blues at the officers and they turn to putty. I have only had to pay one parking ticket out of I don't know how many. I challenge everything.

Done with Lost. I can't get up for it anymore. Let's just say, a little bit of me died with Shannon. Maybe I'll do season 2 on dvd, but I doubt it.

What’s a good non-bitch lunch?

Jada said...

Congrats on beating the man, HT.

There has been an adjustment in my schedule so I am at home this morning doing laundry and cleaning the place. I am also roasting some small red skin potatoes with garlic and rosemary and will eat them will some bacon and scrambled eggs for a late breakfast/early lunch type meal. I won't say brunch, because I believe brunch is strictly a weekend activity.

LizTurtle said...

But James, wouldn't that help more with not getting the ticket in the first place? Maybe boobs are judge's kryptonite. Hm. There must be a Scalito joke in there somewhere.

Having a good-bye luncheon today. Not sure what we ordered. Suspect it might be chinese. Was hoping for Red Hot & Blue. However, guest of honour isn't here yet. Hm! Better get here soon. It's supposed to start at noon, but I'm starving now.

LizTurtle said...

Damn! It is chinese!

dizkonekdid said...

LT, I thought if the ticketing officer didn't show up it was droped. I could be wrong, HT?

LizTurtle said...

Yeah, that was my point! Some jurisidictions, and certain officers are notorious for not showing up to court - they just hope you pay the ticket before the due date.

HaterTot said...

I'm back from having my precious blood taken, and I will fill you in on the ins and outs of moving violations and traffic court.

This particular violation was a notorious DC camera radar capture. ie there were no cops at whom to flash boobs (please - like I'd be in court today at all were that the case). The violation arrived with pictures of my car and a shadowy figure at the wheel, somewhere around New York Ave. at 6th St. NE on November 7, 2005. I have no idea what on earth I could have been doing there, as I do everything in my power to avoid that stretch of road, but it was clearly me. Supposedly I was going 50 in a 35. Because, much like our beloved Uncle Sparkle, I fight everything, I immediately denied and sent in the form.

This morning, I was the second person to go, and basically, they make you watch a movie that would lead you to believe these speeding cams are infallible, and then you go before a person (not a judge - just a person who hears traffic court) and admit or deny. I denied. My whole defense was going to be that it was so unlikely that I was there, but if I were, at the time they said (it was like 6pm) there's no way in hell I could have been speeding b/c of all the traffic. I came up with this story on my way over there this morning, but I digress. Turns out, none of this was necessary, because, as is the case with an alarming number of moving violations issue in the District of Columbia, the ticket was fucked up. Officer NotDoinHisJobRight who had to sign and verify that the radar was calibrated, forgot to sign. Ooops. Victory for HT! But, to illustrate: the woman before me, had 2 tickets, issued 18 minutes apart, on the same stretch of road - not guilty because the pictures weren't the size they were supposed to be. This shit happens ALL the time. The last time, I went in wholly in the right (the cop gave me a ticket for going through a yellow light, and then we got in a huge argument over it, because THAT'S NOT A FUCKING VIOLATION. He tried to backpedal and say that I had accelerated through it, which was total unmitigated bullshit because it was 8:30 am, on Constitution at 3rd, it was raining, and again, there was traffic. THEN, he tries to issue me the ticket (I suspect he was just going to warn me until I flipped out) and the asshole didn't have a ticket book in his car! So, he had to call another cop over to lend him a book. I of course made a mocking comment about always (not) being prepared, and that I'd see him at traffic court, where I would handily win. When I got there, excited to hand this man a defeat, the fucker never bothered to show up! He obviously came to his senses when he realized who he was dealing with. And, as you all surmised, if the officer doesn't show up, it's dismissed. (this, by the way, is not the case with a DUI)

And, since CSR asked, but I answered off-blog, should any of the rest of you care, here's how the Magically Moist Chicken is made:

I use boneless skinless breasts; brown them a bit in olive oil, then put them in a casserole dish, over a bed of sweet onions, cover with more veggies, then pour my homemade lemon onion garlic chicken broth (made from the drippings when I steam the boneless skinless breasts for other things) over the whole thing and let it cook at about 325 for an hour.

I am now eating saffron tomato soup from downstairs, as it is motherfucking cold outside and soup is tasty.

Jada said...

I am making the magically moist chicken this week, HT. That sounds incredibly easy and tasty. Good recipes for boneless, skinless chicken breasts are hard to find. Usually they end up weird and rubbery.

HaterTot said...

You will not regret it, Jade! The key is the broth. I find that the boneless skinless gets dry really fast, and/or rubbery. The broth is fantastic, and though I use my homemade, you could certainly use premade. It's just about keeping the moisture in there. Let me know how it turns out!

Josephus said...

Fought with blogger all morning.
Now I'm hungry AND exhausted.
Running to the Soho buffet for a filling overpriced lunch. Be back soon.

Jada said...

How can people be vegitarians when there is bacon in the world? I think this stuff is divine.

LizTurtle said...

Thank GOD. The food is finally here. I'm faint with hunger. Where are my smelling salts? Oooh, I hope they got General Tso's or orange chicken. Snarf.

HaterTot said...

I meant to buy turkey bacon at the Teet last weekend, but instead was wooed by the blueberry/maple syrup chicken sausages. (I know, not the diet-y est of things, but I couldn't resist) While I was not disappointed in the sausages, I totally forgot to get bacon.

Hey, does anyone have any ideas as to what I'll want (that's still diet-conscious) in the way of recovery food? I need to do my grocery shopping this week.

AND - thank you Hater and LT for the awesome Lost updates. I'm glad I picked a snoozer of an episode to miss.

Unknown said...

oooh, tomato saffron today??? i'm SO there.

i'm starvin. see yinz later. (is it ok that i just stole a 'burgh comment? i just think it's funny)

Josephus said...

Before I go. We don't do enough recipe exchanges on here. Can we set up a post (perhaps to placed on the sidebar, which is where we should put the conf. post) that has the favorite recipes of WFLers?

HaterTot said...

Jo, you're asking for things that I'm not totally sure how to do. Let me work on it.

I like your thinking though.

Jada said...

I can help you with that sidebar stuff tonight, HT.

Good call on the recipe exchange, Jo.

HaterTot said...

Thank you dear lady. I'll be home after 9 or so. Another work dinner thing. I need to remember that I'm not allowed to drink, and for the second time since the ban has been on, I forgot last night. If I bleed out on the operating table on Wednesday, yinz will all know why.

HaterTot said...

Hater, send the cod eaters my way - I'll tell them my stories about cod, and they'll never eat it again. (I have a friend who worked on a cod boat for several months and then did two back to back outings on a crab boat in Alaska - I will never eat cod again, as cod, will eat ANYTHING as evidenced by his stories of what they found in their stomachs.)

I only like when I can pick my own stuff. Otherwise, I pick apart what's there to assemble something I can eat, or eschew it altogether.

Family style in a SMALL group is fine. Not only does the group have to be small, but it has to be a group that is very familiar with each other. I feel similarly about "small plates".

At the end of the day, I'm a classic only child with sharing problems.

Now, found food, is something else entirely. Like, "there were left over sandwiches in the conference room." Those sandwiches always taste better than other kinds of work provided food.

This deal in the burbs that I am skipping, is a catered conference center buffet deal. Probably okay, but I have shit to do and it ain't in Potomac.

Unknown said...

THE PEOPLE AT BREADLINE RULE!

today is cold. i wanted so badly to have tomato soup and grilled cheese. tomato soup, check. however, what to do about the grilled cheese?

i walked up to the BL people and kindly asked me if they could just make a "special" sandwich with the grilled flatbread and put just 2 of the 5 cheeses they normally put in their "toast-tite", which i couldn't handle today.

they were so lovely that they not only did this, but only charged me around $5!!! i'm in lunch heaven.

sorry hater that your lunch wasn't more pleasant. i think all cosi employees really suck at what they do worldwide. there isn't a single cosi i've gone to where they've made something right.

HaterTot said...

I like Cosi more than most people here, I think, though their ordering system is a clusterfuck of cosmic proportions. But, what you describe is unacceptable. I'd totally be asking for a "do over" AND since you're watching them, you know they won't spit in your food.

Be scared of cod. Very, very scared.

Josephus said...

Hater, first of all I think you went to Cosi with an excellent gameplan today. I, like you, have a recurring problem of dealing with multiple snadwich, or in your case salad, makers. I used to go to a place called Frisco's on Wisconsin Ave here in DC. The first time I went I ordered a sandwich with my usual extras and it was perfect. I was sure I had found a sandwich nirvana. Unfortunately I never saw the guy who made that sendwich again and in the 7 or 8 times I went subsequently I was always disappointed. i was chasing the dragon of that one perfect sandwich forever till thankfully the missus stopped allowing me to go and the place (perhaps due to my lack of patronage) closed down. The best laid lunchplans of mice and men can be foiled by a subjective server. I don't even go to Mom's (the lunch place in my lobby) unless I'm sure Helen will be making my lunch (Some of the WFL vets may remember the infamous burger I was served with two bottom buns).

Lost my train of thought...forget it.

Off blog we're having a discussion about high school varsity jackets and exchanging jewelry with high school sweeties. Did the WFL ladies wear their boyfriends' letterjackets? Did the wfl guys wer their high school sweeties' earrings or whatever? Share with us.

Josephus said...

"wear"

Unknown said...

ew i NEVER wore my HS sweetie's jacket or jewelry. although this one guy did give me diamond earrings, which i did not ask him to do. i almost gave them back when he acted like a complete prick and took someone else to the prom...however, i kept them. i'm not dumb!

a year or so later, i lost one of them in a camping trip. c'est la vie.

i totally laughed out loud, jo, at the "two bottom buns" comment...who would serve a burger in such an odd way???

the cosi next door to the wine shop i work at is the worst. you walk in and they talk to each other for 5 minutes before they recognize that you are there to order. then they look at you like "why are you bothering me?" then the fuck up your order. never been a good experience, and i refuse to go back.

case in point, my coworker went there last night to get a back of chips. they were 98 cents. they cashier said "sir, we can't charge anything under a dollar." now, yes, it may be ridiculous that he wanted to charge 98 cents, however, why couldn't the dude just give the damn demi bag o' chips to him for free???? seriously, that shit doesn't even cost 5 cents to package.

he ended buying 2 bags. damn upsellers.

HaterTot said...

I never wore anyone's anything. Yuck.

LC's right about the Cosi near the wine store, though. See? I still contend that the ordering fucks them everytime there.

Josephus said...

By the way Jade kept her word and gave us a lunch aand blog recap on yesterday's post. Be sure to check it out. And since no one else has said it, congrats to Uncle Sparkle and his evil empire for their big win last night. I imagine watchdog is off somewhere in a deep depression today.

LizTurtle said...

My question is, where's the guy who got a two-top-bun burger?

HaterTot said...

Hater, you're my new hero. My mother would be so proud that she'd have wished you were her daughter, rather than I. (she was an avid complaint letter writer to any and everyone. Purdue Chicken? Yep. Burger King? Sure. The Days of Our Lives writing staff? Several times. And these are just three that I remember. She did this for as long as I knew her.

Mom wasn't crazy, but just felt it was her civic duty to let people know when they were fucking up.

Josephus said...

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT YOU CAN'T PUT TWO BOTTOMS OR TWO TOPS TOGETHER!!!

(This is a variation on Rico's favorite and only joke)

HaterTot said...

What's the joke?

LizTurtle said...

The Cosi at Courthouse sucks, too. Clusterfuck is the perfect word for their line-up system I had that stupid card, so I was *determined* to use it up so I could get my g.d. free salad. So I was finally filled up & I went & got in line. This particular day, there was only 1 line, so I'm like 'ok, today they're doing sandwiches and salad orders in 1 line'. So I get up front & the bitch was like "That lady will do your salad." And I'm like "That lady is doing someone else's sandwich." And she just sort of poitns at her again & then looks at the person behind me, all dismissive like. So I freaked out (well, as much as I ever do in a restaurant, b/c I don't like phlegm in my salad) & was all "Every time I come in here, there's a different system for getting in line! And now you're telling me you won't make my salad??" or something. So the manager came over & was like "What's the matter?" and I said "She won't make me a salad." and bitch said "I never said that!" in that real offended you-must-be-crazy tone of voice. And I'm like "Well, then what did you tell me." and she says "I told you she would make your salad." WTF!!! Fucking semantics, twat! So I went off about how every time I come in here & get in the 'salad' line, I can't ever get served, b/c both people are doing sandwiches & when I get in the 'sandwich' line, bitch won't make my sandwich. So the upshot is, the manager made my salad and said "This one's on the house." I was like "Fuck! Now I have to come back again for my free salad on my card!" And yeah, the rest of them act like they're doing you a favour. Tip jar? I think not!

Ok, /end rant.

HaterTot said...

Rico, LT and I have a friend who wants to play EVERY time we're out. I won't play b/c I'm a wuss like that.

Sorry you got tagged. What was the damage?

Josephus said...

LT's story reminds me of about 300 fast food places I've been in cities around this country. Which are perfectly summed up in this wonderful article.

LizTurtle said...

This is true. She always wants to play. I always refuse, because I have shitty luck like that. She claims if you play enough, it ends up a wash, but then she would say how she would play down in 'Bama at this particular restaurant with this particular group of people and this particular gay waiter who would always pick the credit card of the guy he had a crush on. So that guy got hosed. And not in a good way, b/c he wasn't gay.

LizTurtle said...

Oh, man, that's a great article, Jo! But what's with the man-thong pictures to the right?

LizTurtle said...

$120 for 9 guys? That's not bad, man. You could have gotten hit with 9 of us WFL types out for dinner. Now that could have been ugly.

Thanks, Hater! I have some of the best stories & the shittiest life. Sigh!

HaterTot said...

Someday, in person, LT should tell Hater the story of Turtle the Cat. But, it has to be in person. I'm thinking conference, though, I know we can't hold Hater to attending.

LizTurtle said...

Oooh, I wish I hadn't told my Bachelor interview story already.

Josephus said...

The story of Turtle the cat reminds me of the story of Marjan the Lion. Two tearjerking stories about animals and really silly humans.

Love you LT!

LizTurtle said...

Man. I'd like to go to Thailand. Someday!

I wore some guy's letter jacket once. He wasn't my boyfriend, but I wouldn't have minded if he were. I think my freshman boyfriend had a letter jacket, but he wore it all the time. He was one of those guys who just barely squeaked into varsity (our school was small & our football team weak), so he was inordinately proud of his letter jacket. Better than the guy who wore the letter jacket with a j.v. letter sew on it. My boyfriend sr. year was a rebel (and he'll never ever be any good) & didn't do sports for fun. He did things like smoke, drink, and screw other chicks. I don't think they give varsity letters for that.

Josephus said...

Based upon that last post I'm pretty confident Jack is a female.

HaterTot said...

Jack, I do that with alarming frequency. And then you discover it, and it's like, "I want to fix this, but then, what would be the point?"

LizTurtle said...

Jo, that's one of the saddest things I've ever read. I'm almost crying. Thanks a lot!

The Doctor said...

So I was walking to get some lunch, which made me think about lunch, which made me think about the blog called “Original What’s For Lunch.”
A general comment, nothing specific has directly precipitated this. I used to be a little obsessed about making sure that each and every comment I made reflected something about lunch, to the point where I would just say “Lunch lunch lunch lunch” (which, by the way, is set to the exposition from “Charge.”). Know that this was a burden I placed on myself – a personal policy. That other people did not adhere would never bother me.

Recently, however, I’ve been able to let go and embrace the non-lunch related post, because, you know what, the posts are being made by OWFL-ERS! That status is all-encompassing. Everything you do, folks, is about lunch, like some big mother fuckin’ neoplatonistic sphere (I don't know the second thing about neoplatonism, but I wanted to force that in -- aren't I clever?)
Anyhoodles…

Now I would like to briefly discuss Kaizen--the Japanese theory of “continuous improvement” what makes me Echo go go go. I have observed it twice today in lunch-related (pure form) situations. One, on blog – recipes! Nice. Let's do that! Two, the Gourmet Pantry has ditched iceberg for mesclun mix, following not to far on the heels of grape tomatos. (In honor of who horsecock earlier derided as a “high school team,” I put extra BLUE cheese on my salad, thereby also allowing me to slap the Jade with a nice quasi-double entendre, thank-you-very-much-how-are-doin’!.) That kind of blonde(white?)-haired guy was at the reg (owner, Jo?). I said, “Nice job replacing the iceberg with mesclun mix. Way to Kaizen.” He said “Thanks. Have a good day.”

And the misspelling was intentional, dedicated to red states everywhere.

I did Cosi once. Never again.

Not all pizzas have to have mushrooms on them, but they should.

Josephus said...

Hater your Highschool boyfriend was a male cheerleader?

Everything is starting to make more sense...

HaterTot said...

LT - you've had boyfriends wear stuff of yours, though - right?

Hater, was your b/f like those guys in Bring It On?? Because THAT would be fantastic. (oh, and, a big "me too" on lettering in tennis - all 4 years; captain jr. and sr. year)

dizkonekdid said...

I used to have pictures of an old grrlfriend from high school that was a cheerleader from a different high school in my football jacket ... and nothing else. It was a modest one (nothing showing) but would give this old man heart palpatations now because I'm a dirty so-and-so.

I digress, lunch sounds good for everyone today. I had a shyte morning and LaChoi favored me with a cute bit of IM(ing) that totally made my day better. TexEsq cheered me up too by calling.

So it almost made the, "uuuuhh boss .. the whole friggin thing is down." thing that I had to go through this morning alot better.

I love women that make me smile.

Josephus said...

Sparks, I think that is indeed the GP owner/manager. When he makes your sandwich you are in for a treat.

LizTurtle said...

Yes, I dated a cross-dresser. Which I found out about when he put on my boots. Maybe I'll tell that story at the conference, too. But he wasn't a high school boyfriend.

Shudder!

Josephus said...

LT, Rico's head is going to explode if you keep this up...

LizTurtle said...

Oh. My. God. Costco makes some awesome carrot cake. This is my second dessert. (First dessert was plate #2 of sweet, sweet General Tso's chicken.)

LizTurtle said...

OH MY GOD, HT, I FORGOT TO TELL YOU I FOUND MY PICTURES OF HIM DRESSED IN HIS GIRL OUTFIT!!!!! I may have to have a whole slide show at the conference . . . .

Josephus said...

Poor csr...

Josephus said...

Hater is one of the reasons you are with csr the fact that he resembles a cheerleader?

HaterTot said...

I can only imagine the role-playing fun in the Hater/CSR domecile.

LT - there is NO WAY I am waiting to the conference to see those pictures. You're bringing them with you when you come over to drink wine and pop painkillers with me. Er... I mean, watch movies and eat popcorn.

LizTurtle said...

Believe me, girl. I will need some painkillers when I look at them again. I did it with this guy. Shudder!

The Doctor said...

We need to do a calendar.

HaterTot said...

Wait, I thought that was what the Wet T-Shirt contest was for?

I think the theme should be, "Twelve Months of Burritos, and the Women Who Love Them."

Josephus said...

We DO need to get a calendar up on the blog (perhaps a counter that reads 45 days till the conf etc...) I also thought that the Prez was going to make some big announcments today?

HaterTot said...

I said today or tomorrow. It may now be Monday.

Damn Directore duties.

dizkonekdid said...

uuuuuhhhh how did we get onto "Emo Dudes"(TM)?

This wasn't because I posted about a total shyte day was it? Or am I just being Mr. Ego again because I'm making it about me?

Josephus said...

Apparently Jack was into "emo dudes"(TM) for awhile. Till she broke his heart.

The Doctor said...

Ok, what’s an emo dude? Wikipedia doesn’t even know. Just in case, I’m preparing to release a very very special f-bomb.

Josephus said...

Sparks I think it has something to do with the 'bangs' reference.

dizkonekdid said...

Actually the proper term is "Emo Boy":

http://www.dobi.nu/emo/boys.htm

dizkonekdid said...

Nobody replied about whether or not it was about my posting.

Oh well, I guess I'll go and cry eye eye!

The Doctor said...

Thanks, James. I know that guy. He recently moved to Ireland. Cutter. He made me punch him in the mouth once.

Phew.